Midnightlilly Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Last weekend I went out to the bars, I had a couple of beers and was slightly buzzed, as I was leaving the bar I saw a person that I knew who was very drunk, I knew that he would not have a ride home. We mostly argued on the way to his apartment, I told him that his friends were a bunch of *******s for just leaving him there. I wanted to make sure that he got inside his apartment before I left. I basically had to drag him out of the seat, and drag him to his door. He grabbed me on the way to his door, once we got inside I cannot remember who started it but we started kissing and well things progressed from there. Once he fell asleep I stayed for awhile but left about 5:30am. He texted me the next day and asked me what had happenend,and I kinda lied to him, because I did not want him pointing fingers at me, but then I emailed him and asked him what he remembered, when he said not really anything, I emailed him back and said I had some beers but I did remember the previous night and that I was not going to bother him with it, and he replied by saying alrighty then its just business as usual. Of course I had no idea what that meant, but once I figured it out, I just don't understand the whole thing. I've had my fair share of fun but I did at one time really like this guy but I knew that I never stood a chance in hell with him. I was wrong to not tell him the truth, I have wanted to email him, call him, even go over to his place and talk to him, but I have held back because I do not know who is at fault. Oh I know he is a jerk, I made sure he knew that several times that night, it was actually somewhat fun and I would not mind doing it again, I just have no idea how to approach him on this, and I need advice badly. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 What's your ultimate goal with this guy? FWB or a full blown relationship? If he was so hammered he claims he doesn't remember I'm not sure how you could really bring things up with him. If you don't care about anything and are just wanting to live in the moment, just keep getting drunk with him and go with the flow. That seemed to be the key. I also don't think anyone is at fault. It sounds as if the two of you went with your sloppy drunk emotions. Sometimes, that's not a bad thing. Link to post Share on other sites
layla.ann Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 you have his number, why don't you just text him and ask if he would like to hang out sometime or meet up somewhere? if he doesn't respond than you have your answer. And if he does repsond then see where things go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midnightlilly Posted June 27, 2009 Author Share Posted June 27, 2009 I might do that, but I have not worked up the courage to do it yet. I have not decided what I want from this guy, its it strange that I want to talk to him about it? My head and heart tell me to call, but my gut says to just let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midnightlilly Posted June 28, 2009 Author Share Posted June 28, 2009 I have no idea how to feel about this guy, we have a few things in common, but I always felt that I was not good enough for him. I asked him once if he liked me and he said that there was too much history between us, since I had a "fling" with his friend. This whatever you want to call it was something that I never saw coming, I was just trying to be nice and give him a ride home because he was totally out of it. I had no idea that this would happen between us. I really do not think it would progress into a relationship, it would be just sex, but for some odd reason its what I want, I was so tired of getting hurt by men I somewhat turned my feelings off. Its odd we're both 28 but are behaving as if we're in our early 20's. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 You were much more coherent than him and it sounds like you took advantage of a drunk guy. I can't believe you didn't tell him that you had sex!!! I think you know that he would have never touched you had he been sober and if he knew what you did to him he would never speak to you again. You even say that you would never stand a chance with him since you already slept with his friend. UUGGHH!!! What did you do to him? I think you should at least be honest and tell him the TRUTH!!! You say that you were just slightly buzzed and had only a couple beers. You knew what you were planning to do with him all the while acting as if you were just doing a good deed. If not, you would have told him. I mean just picture a man doing this to a woman! It would be considered rape. Wow. What kind of person are you??? This post is very disturbing!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I mean just picture a man doing this to a woman! It would be considered rape. Wow. What kind of person are you??? You know, I never looked at it that way. You're 100% right though. Ahh double standards. I don't know if that was the case here. Re-reading it though, there seems to be a few details left out though. Who initiated the kissing? Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 You know, I never looked at it that way. You're 100% right though. Ahh double standards. I don't know if that was the case here. Re-reading it though, there seems to be a few details left out though. Who initiated the kissing? I think she started the whole thing and premeditated it on top of that. He was completely drunk. She was sober so she should have been more responsible. She knows that he doesn't want her since he has made that clear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midnightlilly Posted June 28, 2009 Author Share Posted June 28, 2009 If that is how you want to see it that's fine, I will not explain myself any further. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 IMHO, your gut is telling you to drop it, because your gut knows that it was not his desire to have sex with YOU. It may have been his genitals desire to have sex at that moment, but his head was too impaired to stop him. Let it go. If you tell him that you had sex with him and he doesn't remember it, then the last thing you want is for him to tell everyone about the incident, especially if you have already had sex with other members of his group. You will end up being the girl who does it with anyone or everyone. Besides, who wants to continue a sexual relationship with someone that has already told you that he's not interested in you romantically and when the sex was merely "somewhat fun"? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 PS. Stop driving when you are buzzed. Please. For everyone's sake. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 If that is how you want to see it that's fine, I will not explain myself any further. Its not "how I want to see it". Its what you told us that happened. No need for you to explain anything else since you have already made it clear what you did to this guy. I guess you expected to come here to clear your conscience but unfortunately I saw right through this story. You were sober and he was sloppy drunk and you had sex with him and didn't tell him. You also said that you would do it again, but would he? I don't think so. I would love to see how you look. My question still hasn't been answered- What kind of a person are you? Sounds vicious and diabolical to me. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I dont' know why ya wouldn't just tell a person what really happened, what is the big deal? What did you think you would be "pointed" at for? It takes two! And if you want to talk about it with him, then do it. He was there too, you know, I don't understand what your reason was for lying, seems unneccessary to me. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I dont' know why ya wouldn't just tell a person what really happened, what is the big deal? What did you think you would be "pointed" at for? It takes two! And if you want to talk about it with him, then do it. He was there too, you know, I don't understand what your reason was for lying, seems unneccessary to me. She had a HIDDEN AGENDA and knows that he would have never slept with her had he been sober. I wonder where she is? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 She had a HIDDEN AGENDA and knows that he would have never slept with her had he been sober. Even then, if he asked what happened, all she'd have to say is, "we had sex". So I guess she's feeling guilty about something. Otherwise, I don't think anyone would hesitate to remind them of such a thing as sex! I mean, really. Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 LOL if i guy did this it would be sexual assault. But if a woman does this to a man who is clearly fashnickered and doesnt remember everything no one says word! Oy! Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 LOL if i guy did this it would be sexual assault. But if a woman does this to a man who is clearly fashnickered and doesnt remember everything no one says word! Oy! See what sugamomma said... Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 See what sugamomma said... Thank you, I just did. I guess I am not the only one who feels that way. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Thank you, I just did. I guess I am not the only one who feels that way. I think we agree that what she did would be considered rape if it was the other way around. He would not have slept with her and he still doesn't know that he has. Poor Guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 I think we agree that what she did would be considered rape if it was the other way around. He would not have slept with her and he still doesn't know that he has. Poor Guy. WOW I liked this post and your other one sugarmomma ...I too wondered why she didn't say , or even has ANY plans to say : Hey John , last night , well we got carried away and we had sex " How HARD ( pun ) is that to say to a guy ? Link to post Share on other sites
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