sb129 Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Well if I may chip in a further 2 cents- I love wedding bands with diamonds in them and the more bling the better I say. (for me, that is!) LB- try on different ones to see what you like best with your engagement ring. My wedding band is from a totally different shop from my engagement ring so they don't completely "match", but they look great together, I think you can see them in my wedding photos in my profile. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 I think LB is big enough to stick up for herself. And shes laughing at herself alot more these days too..... No enabling here! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted June 30, 2009 Author Share Posted June 30, 2009 I think LB is big enough to stick up for herself. And shes laughing at herself alot more these days too..... No enabling here! Thank you my rescuer!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 1.) I over emphasize my posts You do way more than that. 2) persecutors see me as an easy target because I get defensive and am sensitive This assumes those who challenge you on your behavior and way of thinking and call you out on it are malicious. They're not. 3) sweet people stick up for me who feel I'm being treated unfairly. And thus, these "sweet people" actually enable the unhealthy pattern to continue. This is why I responded to those who are actually encouraging you to act in a manner that is congruent with being a bridezilla. They're not helping you grow, at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted June 30, 2009 Author Share Posted June 30, 2009 HAHA, and you know the irony? It's actually other posters in my threads who fight with each other and get defensive, not me. Hmm... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Oh rescuers, where are you??? LOLWe each have something to own, don't we. There isn't one person that I'm aware of, that wishes you harm. So how do you, as thread opener, handle the escalation, especially knowing that people are sincerely trying to help you? I think everyone is aware of the members who wish them harm and are being deliberately cruel. I'm curious so I'm going to use myself as an example. Do you honestly think I wish you harm? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 I love wedding bands with diamonds in them and the more bling the better I say. (for me, that is!) Me too. That way, when you wear it alone without the engagement ring (say, when traveling, or when you don't want a huge rock that everyone's staring at), you can still have some bling. My colleague has three rings. An ornate engagement ring, and two other eternity-like bands. They don't match at all, but they look amazing together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted June 30, 2009 Author Share Posted June 30, 2009 You do way more than that. This assumes those who challenge you on your behavior and way of thinking and call you out on it are malicious. They're not. And thus, these "sweet people" actually enable the unhealthy pattern to continue. This is why I responded to those who are actually encouraging you to act in a manner that is congruent with being a bridezilla. They're not helping you grow, at all. Where are my rescuers?? Come back!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Where are my rescuers?? Come back!!!! You don't need rescuers, LB. No one is here to harm you. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 HAHA, and you know the irony? It's actually other posters in my threads who fight with each other and get defensive, not me. Hmm... So now you're saying you don't get defensive and argue when people disagree with you? I refer to the first 10 posts of yours in this thread alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 You don't need rescuers, LB. No one is here to harm you.SG, you and I have something to own too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted June 30, 2009 Author Share Posted June 30, 2009 We each have something to own, don't we. There isn't one person that I'm aware of, that wishes you harm. Hmm..that's difficult to answer. There are several definitions of the word "harm." So how do you, as thread opener, handle the escalation, especially knowing that people are sincerely trying to help you? I think I handle it quite nicely, I'll stick up for myself if I feel that a post is saying something that I disagree with. Usually I just try to stay out of it and come back to put the thread back on topic. I think everyone is aware of the members who wish them harm and are being deliberately cruel. You can say that again. I'm curious so I'm going to use myself as an example. Do you honestly think I wish you harm? Not in the direct sense, no. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 LB- ((sternly)) I am not a "rescuer', I have called you out several times on a few things. I have even done it on this thread! The others are doing the same thing- there isn't anyone on this thread who was really "mean". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted June 30, 2009 Author Share Posted June 30, 2009 LB- ((sternly)) I am not a "rescuer', I have called you out several times on a few things. I have even done it on this thread! The others are doing the same thing- there isn't anyone on this thread who was really "mean". Wow, are we reading the same thread? I'm joking regarding the "rescuer" comment. (although there actually are some) I think it's funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 SG, you and I have something to own too. I'm assuming you mean the role of "persecutor." Sure, but the ill will and malicious intent must first be stripped of that role before it truly applies. I think I handle it quite nicely, I'll stick up for myself if I feel that a post is saying something that I disagree with. Usually I just try to stay out of it and come back to put the thread back on topic. How about not starting off out of the gate in a mad panic, about something you will later claim isn't a big deal at all and you don't even care about? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted June 30, 2009 Author Share Posted June 30, 2009 I'm assuming you mean the role of "persecutor." Sure, but the ill will and malicious intent must first be stripped of that role before it truly applies. How about not starting off out of the gate in a mad panic, about something you will later claim isn't a big deal at all and you don't even care about? I would be getting defensive if I answered this... Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 And the beat goes on in Lauriebell's threads. Lauriebelle is always portrayed as the victim. There are always persecutors in her thread. Which causes the rescuers to come to her aid. Everyone plays a role. Why? I like to ride white horses. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 I'm assuming you mean the role of "persecutor." Sure, but the ill will and malicious intent must first be stripped of that role before it truly applies.It's the role of maternal persecutor. I'm willing to own it. Will the victim own her role? It's not for me to say but I do see the same dynamics with her mother and b/f. Are both as controlling as she says or is she part of the problem, instead of part of the solution? A catalyst, per se. Anyways, I'm out. Just wanted to express what I see in these threads. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted June 30, 2009 Author Share Posted June 30, 2009 I like to ride white horses. LOL awesome. *giddyup* Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 I would be getting defensive if I answered this... Do you see what you're doing here? I like to ride white horses. I knew it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 I like to ride white horses. A true lance-romance! And yes, it's a play on words! Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Wow, are we reading the same thread? I'm joking regarding the "rescuer" comment. (although there actually are some) I think it's funny. ooooooohhhhhh...... lighten up LB. Please. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 It's the role of maternal persecutor. I'm willing to own it. Oh, for sure. I'm willing to own my role as well, and I think you describe it well. We're here to help. But in order to do that, we must first point out where she's going astray. You and I don't coddle. Will the victim own her role? It's not for me to say but I do see the same dynamics with her mother and b/f. Are both as controlling as she says or is she part of the problem, instead of part of the solution? A catalyst, per se. I think most of us know the answer to that question. Hopefully someday LB will as well... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Oh and Taramere, if you're lurking, thanks for the drama triangle suggestion from the last time. It takes three sides to make a triangle. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 I'm debating about whether or not I should get a plain one or one with jewels. I don't want it to look odd or clash with my engagement ring. Well, definitely try a few on in the store with your engagement ring. You might find the plain band works best, or something with a few stones, or fully tricked out. All part of the fun, LB! Of course, as I said earlier, you could always go for a simple band now, and then upgrade down the road. Years of service upgrade. Link to post Share on other sites
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