Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Oh and Taramere, if you're lurking, thanks for the drama triangle suggestion from the last time. It takes three sides to make a triangle. Point me there, please? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted June 30, 2009 Author Share Posted June 30, 2009 Well, definitely try a few on in the store with your engagement ring. You might find the plain band works best, or something with a few stones, or fully tricked out. All part of the fun, LB! Of course, as I said earlier, you could always go for a simple band now, and then upgrade down the road. Years of service upgrade. Yeah, I'm very excited to go try them on. It will be nice bonding for us. We don't plan on spending a fortune on the wedding bands, as we are paying for other things in regards to the wedding. Like you said, we can always upgrade. I honestly don't care though, I don't need the most expensive flashy ring. It's about what it symbolizes that matters. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 The band is not a big deal but holy sh*t people let LB post without jumping down her throat! What always irks me in these situations is that LB and SG always get unfairly attacked in their threads with people jumping to unfair conclusions and being generally condescending. In LB's threads SG is often the first to attack. SG you're treating LB just as unfairly as people have treated you in your threads and you know it. I KNOW that you're smart and aware enough to see this. This isn't an attack on either poster, I like both very much. Though I do suppose it's an attack on a specific action/behavior of one. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 The band is not a big deal but holy sh*t people let LB post without jumping down her throat! You like to ride white horses, too? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Point me there, please? I don't recall the original link but here's one I googled. http://dramatriangle.info/default.html Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Yeah, I'm very excited to go try them on. It will be nice bonding for us. We don't plan on spending a fortune on the wedding bands, as we are paying for other things in regards to the wedding. Like you said, we can always upgrade. I honestly don't care though, I don't need the most expensive flashy ring. It's about what it symbolizes that matters. Well, you got a gorgeous engagement ring that you love, so that's really the entree, and the band is just a side dish. More like a condiment, really. Like chutney. lol Good plan to put the $$$ towards the wedding for now. I mean, if you had the $$ to blow on all of it right now, go for it, I'd say, but since there's a budget involved, I think that's a good plan. I just got an incredible diamond ring as a birthday gift, and I know what you mean about the sparkle and the symbolism! Still, I'm very glad mine is big and pretty. Nothing wrong with loving your finger adornment! Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 You like to ride white horses, too? No, I think riding horses is cruel Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Do you see what you're doing here? More importantly SG.. do you see what you are doing here ? Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 bands don't need to match.... you don't even need a band. When we got married we couldn't find a ring for me that we both liked and that was comfortable to wear, so we used a ring I already had for me. He didn't wear a ring as they were dangerous for his line of work. About 5 years after we got married he surprised me with an engagement ring. A few years later he changed jobs and we got him a ring, but he likes his ring kinda loose. So.. a few years later he lost his ring. Then we purchased matching bands. Then he went fishing and gave me his ring to take care of and I lost it.:( Then I bought him a ring. Now I've got three rings and he's got one.... and none of them match!! :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 In LB's threads SG is often the first to attack. First? I entirely disagree. I certainly didn't here. I also didn't "attack," anymore than anyone else. SG you're treating LB just as unfairly as people have treated you in your threads and you know it. I KNOW that you're smart and aware enough to see this. This isn't an attack on either poster, I like both very much. Though I do suppose it's an attack on a specific action/behavior of one. Why only one? Are you suggesting that LB doesn't often - if not most always - bring these sorts of responses upon herself? I mean, honestly? TBF made some very good points a few posts back about LB's role in her threads, and LB could only mock her by calling out to her "rescuers." If she's not willing to own the role she plays in each and every one of her threads, how will anything ever change? How will she grow as a person, as a fiance, as a future wife? Isn't that the point of all of this? Or are we all really just here for entertainment? Also, why focus on me here? I'm not "attacking her." Quite frankly, I haven't said anything in this thread that plenty of others have said to her over and over again... so to point only to me seems silly. Again, the comparison between my threads and LB's isn't fair. Like I said before, unlike the posters who patently have no desire to actually help me, but post in my threads for the sole purpose of making personal pot shots at me about irrelevant issues in my threads (i.e., my boobs, my profession...neither of which have anything to do with anything!), the difference here is that I actually like LB, and enjoy watching her grow as a person. That said, things she does and says make me want to simultaneously slap her upside the head and jump for joy for the exciting things that she's experiencing right now. But it's maddening sometimes... is it not? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 More importantly SG.. do you see what you are doing here ? I've you're paying attention to what I'm typing, I've already owned my role here. TWICE. As TBF's link says (which is fascinating, by the way!): Victims appear powerless, when in fact; victims are the most powerful players in drama games. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 bands don't need to match.... you don't even need a band. When we got married we couldn't find a ring for me that we both liked and that was comfortable to wear, so we used a ring I already had for me. He didn't wear a ring as they were dangerous for his line of work. About 5 years after we got married he surprised me with an engagement ring. A few years later he changed jobs and we got him a ring, but he likes his ring kinda loose. So.. a few years later he lost his ring. Then we purchased matching bands. Then he went fishing and gave me his ring to take care of and I lost it.:( Then I bought him a ring. Now I've got three rings and he's got one.... and none of them match!! :lmao: OMG - that is SO funny! It could read like a childrens book. The Tale of Two Rings. Kinda romantic, though. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 bands don't need to match.... you don't even need a band. When we got married we couldn't find a ring for me that we both liked and that was comfortable to wear, so we used a ring I already had for me. He didn't wear a ring as they were dangerous for his line of work. About 5 years after we got married he surprised me with an engagement ring. A few years later he changed jobs and we got him a ring, but he likes his ring kinda loose. So.. a few years later he lost his ring. Then we purchased matching bands. Then he went fishing and gave me his ring to take care of and I lost it.:( Then I bought him a ring. Now I've got three rings and he's got one.... and none of them match!! :lmao: So funny, I'm on my fourth set in 13 years myself. LOL. Lost 'em, out grew 'em, threw 'em at him. You name it. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 bands don't need to match.... you don't even need a band. When we got married we couldn't find a ring for me that we both liked and that was comfortable to wear, so we used a ring I already had for me. He didn't wear a ring as they were dangerous for his line of work. About 5 years after we got married he surprised me with an engagement ring. A few years later he changed jobs and we got him a ring, but he likes his ring kinda loose. So.. a few years later he lost his ring. Then we purchased matching bands. Then he went fishing and gave me his ring to take care of and I lost it.:( Then I bought him a ring. Now I've got three rings and he's got one.... and none of them match!! :lmao: I think that's sweet. Just goes to show you that you're married not by a dress, or by rings, but in your hearts. Sorry, I'm feeling cheezy today. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 The parallel SG, is that you asked a question and people commentented not on your OP but on what it must mean that you would even bring it up. You did the same thing to LB, she asked about mathing rings, you questioned her even being ready for marriage based on her even being concerned about something so trivial. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Oh and Taramere, if you're lurking, thanks for the drama triangle suggestion from the last time. It takes three sides to make a triangle. It's my favourite! Here's another link on one of my favourite theories ever. Funnily enough, this was on my mind last night. http://www.therapyideas.net/triangles.htm Congratulations on the engagement, LB. Hope you get the ring thing sorted out....and may your wedding day involve drama of only the happiest kind. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Oh wow! This thread is something else! All right as someone who stepped in on the rescuer side, let me start with this: I'm shocked that some of you are actually encouraging her to be bridezilla! On this, I fully agree with IWWH: LB frets. That's what she does. I encouraged her to stop feeling bad about fretting and to accept it with a sense of humour. I don't consider it enabling. I consider it a different approach then "tough love". Change starts from acceptance. If LB can accept she has a tendency to overnalayze, then she will start recognizing that pattern, seeing the humor in it and taking a step back from it. I just don't see how over-criticizing that impulse she has helps her in any way. Instead, I think it's best to point it out and say: let's work with it instead of against it. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 It's my favourite! Here's another link on one of my favourite theories ever. Funnily enough, this was on my mind last night. http://www.therapyideas.net/triangles.htm Congratulations on the engagement, LB. Hope you get the ring thing sorted out....and may your wedding day involve drama of only the happiest kind.Just read it and found it fascinating. We all play every role, sometimes multiple roles, at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Just read it and found it fascinating. We all play every role, sometimes multiple roles, at the same time. I'm truly fascinated by both links... Good stuff there! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 1, 2009 Author Share Posted July 1, 2009 I went to Kays to pick up my engagement ring (it was getting resized and took FOREVER) and saw some nice wedding bands. I was so excited to get my ring back, I think the salesperson thought I was nuts or something lol. Anyway, I tried a 5 stone one on and it was so pretty. It didn't take away from my engagement ring either, they compliment each other with their "sparkliness." I saw the "male version" and I thought it looked sort of weird, like too feminine. So matching rings may look weird anyway. I saw a plain yellow gold band that he may like and it actually looked cute next to mine. It's interesting that they look better "non-matched." Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Listen, no one looks at a girls wedding ring and then matches it to her hubbies, that is just daft sooooooooooo just both get exactly what you individually want and dont worry about it matching at all! You will (hopefully) be wearing it forever so the MOST important thing is that you each love your own ring! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Oh and also, dont give a worry about anything that you may think other people will not like. Only worry about things that bother you, no your MIL or your sister or your great aunt twice removed! It is yours and your mans day and no one elses! Dont let peer pressure get to you, you have waited long enough for this so bloody enjoy it or I will kick your arse!! Link to post Share on other sites
grae Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 ours don't match.... I still wear the engagement ring hubby had custom made for me when I was 16. It is platinum with an amethyst in the center. On our wedding day, we couldn't afford rings...so, he gave me a twistie tie and I gave him a keychain ring lol. we have them hanging in a shadow box in our den now. On our 5th anniversary, I bought us gold bands. I couldn't stand not wearing my engagement ring, so I only wore mine for 2 days. He still wears his on his ring finger now. Our 10th anniversary, he bought me a nice 5 diamond titanium ring to replace my engagement ring....it lasted 3 days....and the old ring went right back on. Two years ago I got him another ring because his gold one was bothering him thinking he could replace it. He went back to his gold band and wears that one on his other hand. And I am sure there will be more to come.....but so far, nothing can get this original one off my hand even though it is dinged up, misshaped and the stone got chipped. I can't even bear to take it off to get it fixed lol Link to post Share on other sites
moo Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Lauriebell, There is NOTHING wrong with your question. Maybe it's something you've just been thinking about now and then. Maybe it's really important to you. We all think differently and what is important to us may not be important to other people. So, you said this was minor..do you still feel that way, or is this really bothering you? Are you afraid people won't think you are married to each other? If you are just curious, then I don't think you should worry about it...he wants to wear a ring, that is the main point. But if this really bothers you, you need to figure out why. Are you focusing on this because there are other marriage issues you don't want to deal with? Think about it hun. By the way, I'm so sorry you had to deal with rudeness in this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 2, 2009 Author Share Posted August 2, 2009 Lauriebell, There is NOTHING wrong with your question. Maybe it's something you've just been thinking about now and then. Maybe it's really important to you. We all think differently and what is important to us may not be important to other people. So, you said this was minor..do you still feel that way, or is this really bothering you? Are you afraid people won't think you are married to each other? If you are just curious, then I don't think you should worry about it...he wants to wear a ring, that is the main point. But if this really bothers you, you need to figure out why. Are you focusing on this because there are other marriage issues you don't want to deal with? Think about it hun. By the way, I'm so sorry you had to deal with rudeness in this thread. Oh I know there isn't anything wrong with the question despite what others think, actually it's one of those wedding etiquette questions. It doesn't bother me a whole lot, I just thought it was tradition to have matching rings. I guess I'm behind the times. Link to post Share on other sites
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