tami-chan Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Gee somewhere out there is a man hurting too, this cheaters husband. I guess his feelings don't count as much as the OM's wife. That's right, she IS married, too....but why would her husband be hurting? Does he know about the affair? I didn't read anywhere that he knows of it..obviously you have...which post is it? Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 That's right, she IS married, too....but why would her husband be hurting? Does he know about the affair? I didn't read anywhere that he knows of it..obviously you have...which post is it? I don't expect you to acknowledge how her husband would feel IF he finds out because you yourself as you have stated are a cheater. So your views are tainted at best. I have read your posts and you always find away to indirectly condemn any spouse that has been cheated on. That is so typical of a serial cheater such as yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 That's right, she IS married, too....but why would her husband be hurting? Does he know about the affair? I didn't read anywhere that he knows of it..obviously you have...which post is it? I actually said to be sarcastic, as to point out that her husband doesn't fit in your little equation, only the OMs wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 If BS knows who you are and knows that you work with him, it is very likely that either she will accompany him on this work trip or that she will tell him not to go. If I were you, I would come down with a case of H1N1 the day before the trip. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I don't expect you to acknowledge how her husband would feel IF he finds out because you yourself as you have stated are a cheater. So your views are tainted at best. I have read your posts and you always find away to indirectly condemn any spouse that has been cheated on. That is so typical of a serial cheater such as yourself. LOL....Runaway train, You were caught EMBELLISHING the story. You were caught stretching the er..."truth" to make a point...to disparage me. It's pathetic, really. Now you are just ATTACKING me. I don't even know what your story is...neither do I care. You want to know something else? The xOM's divorce is final and even though I broke up with him, he still wants to marry me.... Get your facts straight ok? you need to stop being a "runaway train"..stop, have control over your emotions-you are just lashing out for no reason.. I am NOT a serial cheater...my husband (soon to be EX) is...not that THAT matters, but it's a tiny bit of trivia you might add to your knowledge of me, ok? I actually said to be sarcastic, as to point out that her husband doesn't fit in your little equation, only the OMs wife. LOL...oh really? sure you did...I think it is pretty obvious you said what you said as a "gotcha"...except there was no basis for it...but, go on...convince yourself you were trying to be sarcastic...you will be fine;) Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 LOL....Runaway train, You were caught EMBELLISHING the story. You were caught stretching the er..."truth" to make a point...to disparage me. It's pathetic, really. Now you are just ATTACKING me. I don't even know what your story is...neither do I care. You want to know something else? The xOM's divorce is final and even though I broke up with him, he still wants to marry me.... Get your facts straight ok? you need to stop being a "runaway train"..stop, have control over your emotions-you are just lashing out for no reason.. I am NOT a serial cheater...my husband (soon to be EX) is...not that THAT matters, but it's a tiny bit of trivia you might add to your knowledge of me, ok? LOL...oh really? sure you did...I think it is pretty obvious you said what you said as a "gotcha"...except there was no basis for it...but, go on...convince yourself you were trying to be sarcastic...you will be fine;) Not that it matters darling, but my story is quite simple and moral. I don't cheat and I conduct my interpersonal relationships with utter integrity which by your own admission you failed to do. I am not attacking you however I am bedazzled at your ability to deflect responsibility from the cheater to the betrayed spouse and I have read your posts as I stated and it is quite obvious. I am not the only person who has pointed it out. As for your little smug little comment, I love the song RunawayTrain, it has meaning as in someone who I lost very dear to me in combat so do not even go there. Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 You want to know something else? The xOM's divorce is final and even though I broke up with him, he still wants to marry me.... Get your facts straight ok? you need to stop being a "runaway train"..stop, have control over your emotions-you are just lashing out for no reason.. I am NOT a serial cheater...my husband (soon to be EX) is...not that THAT matters, but it's a tiny bit of trivia you might add to your knowledge of me, ok? You don't have to explain the semantics of your infidelity to me. You have to live in your own skin. As for my emotions, they are fine. My conscience is clear and I can go to sleep without any skeletons in my closet. I am sure you provide your shrink with a plethora of business my dearest. But anyways, best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I totally agree with you. She's a cheater and she uses every excuse she can to justify cheating behaviors in others and in herself to maybe ease her own guilt, IF she has a conscience. I have always guessed that she's a cheater and/or a Other Woman without ever readying her story and I WAS RIGHT! That woman has very low morals and no boundaries! I have to agree. It sounds like she has no remorse for her actions. But in any case it is her life to ruin whatever makes her happy. We all make choices in life. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Not that it matters darling, but my story is quite simple and moral. I don't cheat and I conduct my interpersonal relationships with utter integrity which by your own admission you failed to do. I am not attacking you however I am bedazzled at your ability to deflect responsibility from the cheater to the betrayed spouse and I have read your posts as I stated and it is quite obvious. I am not the only person who has pointed it out. As for your little smug little comment, I love the song RunawayTrain, it has meaning as in someone who I lost very dear to me in combat so do not even go there. RunawayTrain, it hurts when people assume the wrong thing about you, right? Like when you just kinda carelessly threw out that "you are a serial cheater thing", right? So, I apologize for the little dig about your nickname. The fact of the matter is: I didnt say anything on this post to cover or encourage OP about her affair , neither was I disrespectful to the BW. I limited my response to whatever OP shared. YOU however, took issue, not because it was a fact....but because you wanted to DISPARAGE ME..it had nothing to do with whatever facts OP has shared with us. It was directed TO ME. To which I responded, appropriately, I believe. BUT, you got caught on a mistake. AND turned the table and started talking (ATTACKING, actually) about ME-"Oh, Tami-chan, you are this and your that, etc"....it IS pathetic. and for someone so moral, who claims to be moral and has lived her life with integrity, you sure are doing a poor job at it. This thread is not about ME, however, now YOU have made it about ME....just like the others. Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 RunawayTrain, it hurts when people assume the wrong thing about you, right? Like when you just kinda carelessly threw out that "you are a serial cheater thing", right? So, I apologize for the little dig about your nickname. The fact of the matter is: I didnt say anything on this post to cover or encourage OP about her affair , neither was I disrespectful to the BW. I limited my response to whatever OP shared. YOU however, took issue, not because it was a fact....but because you wanted to DISPARAGE ME..it had nothing to do with whatever facts OP has shared with us. It was directed TO ME. To which I responded, appropriately, I believe. BUT, you got caught on a mistake. AND turned the table and started talking (ATTACKING, actually) about ME-"Oh, Tami-chan, you are this and your that, etc"....it IS pathetic. and for someone so moral, who claims to be moral and has lived her life with integrity, you sure are doing a poor job at it. This thread is not about ME, however, now YOU have made it about ME....just like the others. Fair enough, but first of all, Im a guy not a girl. Secondly I didn't mean to attack you and I apologize if it came off that way. I just sense you have this disdain for the the betrayed spouses and it shows. I feel that is wrong. The ownus is on the cheater period, in any situation, unless someone held a gun to their head or they were sexually assaulted. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Fair enough, but first of all, Im a guy not a girl. Secondly I didn't mean to attack you and I apologize if it came off that way. I just sense you have this disdain for the the betrayed spouses and it shows. I feel that is wrong. The ownus is on the cheater period, in any situation, unless someone held a gun to their head or they were sexually assaulted. Sorry, I don't think I have a read any of your posts except this one because it was directed to me,so I didnt know if you were a man or woman. Well, you DID attack me by bringing out stuff about me-on a thread that has nothing to do with me or what I said and to top it all off your story about me was inaccurate, I might add. But I know that won't bother you, because what is important is that you took a shot at me and you believe it hit a nerve. Now you have someone like this other poster who is doing what exactly you were hoping to do to ME. I understand what you are saying. I do not understand belittling and insulting any poster(not that you have)-just so happen the OW is the one at the receiving end most of the time. I never condone cheating. But I understand why people choose that route. It does not matter whether you understand it or not...I do. And if you hate me because of it, then so be it. You do not know what my husband did to me, or what happened to me because of it...those things are not important to you...and why should they? I have come to terms with it...so it is not that important even to me. So I hope that you feel vindicated now that you have gotten your disdain of me off your chest. Maybe you can put me on ignore so you do not have to read my posts? Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I wish there was a way to keep BS's off the OW/OM forum. This woman is in a very anxious situation, one she never planned (as most of us OP's find ourselves) and is asking for help and advice. 75% of the posts are either attacking her or each other. Come on people. If you can't stand us OP's stay the F off our forum and go post where people are actually asking for your help. To the original poster, someone suggested bailing. At the very least you do need to end contact with your MM especially if you have no plans to confess to your husband. I know how hard it is to confess to your spouse, and how hard it can be to even bring up any problems in the relationship. This is a very tough time, not knowing what he's thinking, wanting to believe him, and having a hard time imagining what his wife is going through (We are good at blocking that part out). His emotions will be up and down, and you will be on your own roller coaster but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. He may not be in it, but it will be something good. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I'm just gonna wait for Bdadam to post an update. She sounds like she'd like to work things out with her H. I wonder how it went with her therapist. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 You want to know something else? The xOM's divorce is final and even though I broke up with him, he still wants to marry me.... Get your facts straight ok? you need to stop being a "runaway train"..stop, have control over your emotions-you are just lashing out for no reason.. I am NOT a serial cheater...my husband (soon to be EX) is...not that THAT matters, but it's a tiny bit of trivia you might add to your knowledge of me, ok? You don't have to explain the semantics of your infidelity to me. You have to live in your own skin. As for my emotions, they are fine. My conscience is clear and I can go to sleep without any skeletons in my closet. I am sure you provide your shrink with a plethora of business my dearest. But anyways, best of luck to you. Tami Someone is always trying to rip you a new azzhole on LS! You always seem to take it in stride. Wow. I forgot what the op was about. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Tami Someone is always trying to rip you a new azzhole on LS! You always seem to take it in stride. Wow. I forgot what the op was about. Precisely my thought! I totally forgot what this thread was about then I went to page one and re-read. Tami, it totally sucks that people are tearing you apart but you seem to take it in stride (as sugarmomma put it) - I think that's why it pisses some people off. Some people choose not to understand cause all they want is to shove their opinion down someone's throat even before actually knowing their story. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I wish there was a way to keep BS's off the OW/OM forum. This woman is in a very anxious situation, one she never planned (as most of us OP's find ourselves) and is asking for help and advice. 75% of the posts are either attacking her or each other. Come on people. If you can't stand us OP's stay the F off our forum and go post where people are actually asking for your help. To the original poster, someone suggested bailing. At the very least you do need to end contact with your MM especially if you have no plans to confess to your husband. I know how hard it is to confess to your spouse, and how hard it can be to even bring up any problems in the relationship. This is a very tough time, not knowing what he's thinking, wanting to believe him, and having a hard time imagining what his wife is going through (We are good at blocking that part out). His emotions will be up and down, and you will be on your own roller coaster but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. He may not be in it, but it will be something good. This is the infidelity forum not the OW. Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Sorry, I don't think I have a read any of your posts except this one because it was directed to me,so I didnt know if you were a man or woman. Well, you DID attack me by bringing out stuff about me-on a thread that has nothing to do with me or what I said and to top it all off your story about me was inaccurate, I might add. But I know that won't bother you, because what is important is that you took a shot at me and you believe it hit a nerve. Now you have someone like this other poster who is doing what exactly you were hoping to do to ME. I understand what you are saying. I do not understand belittling and insulting any poster(not that you have)-just so happen the OW is the one at the receiving end most of the time. I never condone cheating. But I understand why people choose that route. It does not matter whether you understand it or not...I do. And if you hate me because of it, then so be it. You do not know what my husband did to me, or what happened to me because of it...those things are not important to you...and why should they? I have come to terms with it...so it is not that important even to me. So I hope that you feel vindicated now that you have gotten your disdain of me off your chest. Maybe you can put me on ignore so you do not have to read my posts? Tami, I have no disdain for you. I don't hate you. No I will not put you on my ignore list. I will continue to read your posts and maybe gain some insight from the other side (although I strongly disagree with cheating). For the record I never really said anything to you or called you out, you responded to a general statement that I posted. You are right I do not know your situation and root cause of it and it is probably none of my business however myself like everyone else has opinions on how things are handled in interpersonal relationships. Again, I apologize if you feel that I attacked you or if I was inappropriate, those were certainly not my intentions. Our opinions are different, from your experiences (not judging you) you can relate to the person who cheated, and from my experiences I side with the person that was cheated on. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Lyssa, What makes you think that she is trying to work it out with her H? She said she doesn't plan on telling him, she feels no guilt, and she not happy in her M. The only person she seems to show affection for is the MM. MW Lifebeginsat40, This is a infidelity board and the BS can post. If you don't like then you can leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Lyssa, What makes you think that she is trying to work it out with her H? She said she doesn't plan on telling him, she feels no guilt, and she not happy in her M. The only person she seems to show affection for is the MM. She mentioned somewhere that she's planning to go for marriage counselling. It could be another thread. If she wants to work it out - great, if she does not - she can leave her marriage. It's up to her. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Lyssa, What makes you think that she is trying to work it out with her H? She said she doesn't plan on telling him, she feels no guilt, and she not happy in her M. The only person she seems to show affection for is the MM. MW Lifebeginsat40, This is a infidelity board and the BS can post. If you don't like then you can leave. I realized that after, but didn't retract what I said because she was posting as an OW and not asking for BS's to bash her. It might as well have been in the OW forum. In ANY forum, if you can't help then don't reply. Ever heard of bullying? Link to post Share on other sites
In Like Flynn Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Well their are some OW/OM that ask for and deserve help. But I guess it was that fact she was unremorseful and only was unhappy about the fact her OM was pulling away after being found out by his wife. Even stated she didn't care if her husband found out. It was all his fault etc etc. But maybe not you but some of us have a problem helping someone continue their affair. I guess we could have referred her to the TOW where they laugh and strategise on keeping their affairs going....that might have been helpful!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I realized that after, but didn't retract what I said because she was posting as an OW and not asking for BS's to bash her. It might as well have been in the OW forum. In ANY forum, if you can't help then don't reply. Ever heard of bullying? Ever hear of enabling destructive, cruel and selfish behavior? Stay on the OW/OM forum if that is what you want. Did you really say that she "found herself in a situation she did not plan" or something absurd like that? How'd you not choke on that nonsense? Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Well their are some OW/OM that ask for and deserve help. But I guess it was that fact she was unremorseful and only was unhappy about the fact her OM was pulling away after being found out by his wife. You're not obligated to help everyone who posts here. Find a thread by someone you can honesty help. Did you read the sticky at the top of this forum at all? Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Just to clarify I think someone made a comment thinking im a betrayed spouse. That is not the case. I am single. I have been cheated on before many years ago and it is a harrowing feeling. I think that enabling cheaters is wrong and immoral, period. Link to post Share on other sites
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