Dexter Morgan Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 I'm sure she doesn't mention him - because, like many of us, while in the "heat of the moment" so to speak - they/spouses are insignificant ~ for whatever reason. (& yes, there are many reasons) That's part of the selfishness of an affair. well, she doesn't feel guilty about her affair.....so she should divorce her husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 well, she doesn't feel guilty about her affair.....so she should divorce her husband. Oh, she couldn't do that! She'd be losing her mealticket or whatever! Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Wow..."strong", "moral" men ... verbally ganging up on a tiny, immoral woman....You guys must be proud of yourselves :bunny:! When nothing can bring her down, resort to cheap shots...!:rolleyes:... no wonder....sheesh... Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 How do we know she is tiny? Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 How do we know she is tiny? oh you again:rolleyes:...nevermind.... Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 oh you again:rolleyes:...nevermind.... Wow that must be what you mean by lighting rod. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Wow..."strong", "moral" men ... verbally ganging up on a tiny, immoral woman....You guys must be proud of yourselves :bunny:! When nothing can bring her down, resort to cheap shots...!:rolleyes:... no wonder....sheesh... Now I know the saying is true, "Evil has many faces"! Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Do not throw stones in glass houses. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Wow..."strong", "moral" men ... verbally ganging up on a tiny, immoral woman....You guys must be proud of yourselves :bunny:! When nothing can bring her down, resort to cheap shots...!:rolleyes:... no wonder....sheesh... nice try with the drama. All I said was: "well, she doesn't feel guilty about her affair.....so she should divorce her husband. " thats simply the straight truth of it. She does not feel guilty, she admitted so. Just stating a fact. and then giving my opinion of the course of action she needs to take in light of that fact. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 oh you again:rolleyes:...nevermind.... You make a good point. Her physical size is critical to the analysis.(thought I'd better add some of these little faces,too:bunny:) Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Do not throw stones in glass houses. Period. And, change undies weekly.:love: Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 And, change undies weekly.:love: Just make sure that all the shades are drawn!:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Do not throw stones in glass houses. Period. Interesting... why did you say this? I have never heard of this famous "saying" said like this. Did you mean "people in glass houses should not throw stones? At any rate, I am curious why you said this. 'Share your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 I have to say I am really surprised by everyone judging me so harshly. I really thought I could come here for some sound advice, help, and support. Do I feel guilt? No, I don't. I don't because I didn't begin or continue this affair with the intent to hurt anyone. I didn't do it for malice reasons. I did it because my emotional needs are not being met and it was/is self-soothing. Also, our relationship is very filling to me. I also don't believe he is making me out to be a whore to his wife. None of you know him. I know what I must look like to her, but I don't think he is throwing me under the bus. I certainly wasn't happy when he told me he told her my name and I did ask him if he thought she would contact my husband. He said he honestly believes she wont', because she wants to work on their marriage. Have you ever heard the saying, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions"? So what if you didn't do anything with malice, you (with his help ) still hurt innocent people. Working on her marriage doesn't require she honor yours. You certainly didn't honor hers. Let's pray she is a woman of honor and integrity and tells your H the truth so he can make an informed decision about how and with who he wants to spend the rest of his life. Link to post Share on other sites
cracer Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Do I feel guilt? No, I don't. - You should I don't because I didn't begin or continue this affair with the intent to hurt anyone. - That doesn't matter. No one intially begins an affair with the intent to hurt somone (unless for revenge.) I didn't do it for malice reasons. I did it because my emotional needs are not being met and it was/is self-soothing. - That's typical. Interesting how you stated that neither of the two of you are happy in your marriages yet neither of you want to leave your families. I think the not wanting to leave your family has more to do with security than with the kids. Why aren't you happy? What needs aren't being met by your husband. I don't think it's emotional as much as it is sexual. "I did it because my emotional needs are not being met..." Yet you stated "He wants to continue talking daily, and continue the emotional connection. I don't know how I can do that." You said that your emotional needs aren't being met by your husband. This other man is willing to continue the emotional connection you claim to need but you "don't know how I can do that", without the physical (sexual) connection apparently. Have you tried to discuss your feelings with your husband? When I say discuss I mean actually talking not hinting or trying to give clues which is often what most people do (females in general). Your husband isn't a mind reader. If you haven't discussed your husbands lack of emotional connection to you then you put yourself in this situation and it's not your husbands fault but your own. Maybe your husband doesn't have problems connecting with you emotionally and your just trying to justify your affair by saying that he does. Your husband seems non existant in your thread. I think the feelings you have for your lover (OM) are the same feelings you had for your husband in the beginning of your relationship with him. Those feelings you had for your husband faded away over time and now it's deja vu all over again with this new OM. You like that feeling (as do all people) and want to hold on to it desperately. This OM breaking off the physical connection with you is driving you crazy I'm sure. I don't know your reason for the affair but I honestly don't think it's due to a lack of emotional connection on your husbands part. Maybe you can elaborate a little more on that part. Based on your thread you don't seem to have any remorse at all. Your husband must be a real tool. Familiarity breeds boredom in relationships. You say that you see each other once every 4 weeks or about once a month. Seeing this OM only once a month keeps the affair exciting and helps prolong this lovey-dovey feeling your experiencing. Your current marriage pales by comparison. You have given in to your primitive instincts. These lovey-dovey feeling we get when we meet someone are natural and play a part in the procreation process. It is something that we as a species experience many times even in our marriages when we meet new people. Some people have strong will power and resist it while others can't. In the end it's your life, your choice, and your consequences. Betrayal of a loved one is unmistakeably the worst and painful experiences a person can ever face in their lifetime. Some call it spiritual murder. Sorry if I seem a little sexist I'm not. Hope this helps. Sorry for the long post but I just couldn't control myself lol. Link to post Share on other sites
f50 Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Do I feel guilt? No, I don't. - You should I don't because I didn't begin or continue this affair with the intent to hurt anyone. - That doesn't matter. No one intially begins an affair with the intent to hurt somone (unless for revenge.) I didn't do it for malice reasons. I did it because my emotional needs are not being met and it was/is self-soothing. - That's typical. Interesting how you stated that neither of the two of you are happy in your marriages yet neither of you want to leave your families. I think the not wanting to leave your family has more to do with security than with the kids. Why aren't you happy? What needs aren't being met by your husband. I don't think it's emotional as much as it is sexual. "I did it because my emotional needs are not being met..." Yet you stated "He wants to continue talking daily, and continue the emotional connection. I don't know how I can do that." You said that your emotional needs aren't being met by your husband. This other man is willing to continue the emotional connection you claim to need but you "don't know how I can do that", without the physical (sexual) connection apparently. Have you tried to discuss your feelings with your husband? When I say discuss I mean actually talking not hinting or trying to give clues which is often what most people do (females in general). Your husband isn't a mind reader. If you haven't discussed your husbands lack of emotional connection to you then you put yourself in this situation and it's not your husbands fault but your own. Maybe your husband doesn't have problems connecting with you emotionally and your just trying to justify your affair by saying that he does. Your husband seems non existant in your thread. I think the feelings you have for your lover (OM) are the same feelings you had for your husband in the beginning of your relationship with him. Those feelings you had for your husband faded away over time and now it's deja vu all over again with this new OM. You like that feeling (as do all people) and want to hold on to it desperately. This OM breaking off the physical connection with you is driving you crazy I'm sure. I don't know your reason for the affair but I honestly don't think it's due to a lack of emotional connection on your husbands part. Maybe you can elaborate a little more on that part. Based on your thread you don't seem to have any remorse at all. Your husband must be a real tool. Familiarity breeds boredom in relationships. You say that you see each other once every 4 weeks or about once a month. Seeing this OM only once a month keeps the affair exciting and helps prolong this lovey-dovey feeling your experiencing. Your current marriage pales by comparison. You have given in to your primitive instincts. These lovey-dovey feeling we get when we meet someone are natural and play a part in the procreation process. It is something that we as a species experience many times even in our marriages when we meet new people. Some people have strong will power and resist it while others can't. In the end it's your life, your choice, and your consequences. Betrayal of a loved one is unmistakeably the worst and painful experiences a person can ever face in their lifetime. Some call it spiritual murder. Sorry if I seem a little sexist I'm not. Hope this helps. Sorry for the long post but I just couldn't control myself lol. i agree.......... Link to post Share on other sites
delajoonal Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 i am curious....has OM wife called YOUR H yet? cause my H had an EA and i called the OW AND HER H! that put an end to ALL OF IT!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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