Instead of email-ing a simple "no", she went to the police.

[alpha wizard]

I am a bonafide scientific wizard, but am absolutely pitiful and shy when it comes to dealing with women. I met this awesome woman while 1000 miles from home. We only spent part of one day together, never thought I'd ever meet anyone that.

 

Got home and started mailing her letters and presents. Always asked her to send me an e-mail or for a phone call. She's on the computer all day at an office. I told her I would leave her alone if she wanted me to, just send me an email and I'd quit bothering her. I thought we were meant to be together, and told her that; Way wrong thing to do even though it was a true gut feeling.

 

I live in a fantasy world. I dreamed someday she'd surely send me an email or call me, she is very much the shy type like me. One day she went to the police station with her sister and complained I was bothering her. I'm still really puzzled.

[Jilly Bean]

LOL.

 

Hon, if you contact a woman repeatedly with gifts, calls, letters, etc., and she never responds, then you have to take that as a cue she's not interested, and leave her alone.

 

She thought you were stalking her (you were), so she went to get protection.

[WTRanger]

Yep, some people don't have the spine to just up and tell you "no." They don't respond or ignore you in hopes that you "get it."

 

Though, honestly, if I send 2-3 emails to a girl and she never responded I would take the hint.

 

There's a fine line between the chase and stalking. I think you crossed it. What happened with the police? Will that be on your record?

[alpha wizard]

Surely it's on my police record now. Wouldn't it be a lot less stressful to send a single sentence email from a disposable Gmail account than go to the police department? Lord knows it'd be faster and cheaper.

 

She could have had her sister send it and say it was from her even, I'd never have known the difference. I think she liked all the attention she was getting.

[KikiW]

First you say she is a shy person, then you say you think she liked the attention... shy people do not seek attention. Besides, if she liked it, she would have responded to you and encouraged more of it.

 

You need to let it all go and not contact her any more... EVER. Whatever her reasons, she chose to make sure you knew she was very serious about not hearing from you again, so respect her wishes.

 

I can only recommend that in the future you take things a little less intensely right out of the gate.

[Jilly Bean]

Dude - how much were you contacting her, and in what manner? I'm curious to know what pushed her to call the law.

[hoping2heal]

She could of been an attention seeker too though. If the guy really did tell her to inform him if she wasn't interested (afterall, they spent one day together, there could be family trouble, etc. for why she wasn't contacting) IMHO, if this version of the story is true; even if he was contacting her and showering her with gifts rather garishly, if she goes to the police instead of telling him no, she loves the drama. No one in their right mind would go to the police, instead of telling someone "I'm not interested" unless they love the pitty and attention.

[hoping2heal]

Surely it's on my police record now. Wouldn't it be a lot less stressful to send a single sentence email from a disposable Gmail account than go to the police department? Lord knows it'd be faster and cheaper.

 

She could have had her sister send it and say it was from her even, I'd never have known the difference. I think she liked all the attention she was getting.

 

Yes, it certainly would of been easier. Most likely she's off her rocker. That is, if you're telling us the truth. If you are, beleive me she's a nut job be glad you dodged this bullet.

[DiamondClear]

Send her a junk load of flowers and stuff lol and make sure no one knows it was you lol. Then see if she emails you.

though that could be bad lol.

email her family members?

wear a wire? lol saw that on a tv show, then apologize.

[Adunaphel]

Didn't the police even ask if she ever told you that she did not like the attention?

How did you get to know that she went to the police?

Did the police call you?

Did you explain them the situation?

I don't think they can put a stain on your police record if there is no shread of proof that she even *told* you she did not like the attention.

I wonder how much she distorted reality.

[lovelorcet]

I am a bonafide scientific wizard

 

 

What is that supposed to mean? You are up for a Noble Prize?

[her_halo_slipped]

Got home and started mailing her letters and presents.

 

What kind of presents were they? Did she keep them or did the police take them into evidence. I hope you didn't spend too much on them.

I think you might have gone too hard too fast. Maybe take this as a cue next time you meet someone.

[Jilly Bean]

Alpha - you are 41, have had sex with two women over your lifetime, admittedly live in a fantasy world, and then met this girl who lives 1,000 miles from you, and started sending her gifts and telling her you were meant to be together...

 

Pray tell - how OLD was this young lady?

 

I just have the feeling, considering your history, that she was not interested at all, and you did stalk her.

 

What did the police have to say on it?

[Left in a Lurch]

The sad part is what you did was romantic but only in the movies. If Matthew Mcconaughey had done the exact same thing to Kate Hudson in a movie, the women would swoon for him and how he "swept her off her feet", but in the real world it only gets you a police record.

 

That being said, I could see sending a few emails and maybe a gift that was meaningful to the time spent together but after that back off when she doesn't respond. The funny part is sometimes you do something like that or try to call her a few times and say forget it, and she'll call or email you out of the blue and say she was out of town and didn't check her emails, or was too busy... and as a guy your left going wtf?

 

Question for women- Women usually like romantic movies and in every romantic movie it usually follows the guy meets girl, girl shows no interest, guy does everything to prove his love for her, girl finally realizes she loves guy story line. Why do women like movies about stalkers so much?

[Land Shark]

I recommend you stick to science, Mr. Wizard.

[subdued]

She needs therapy. She needs to learn how to say NO.

[Citizen Erased]

Dude. You sent her presents? Not a good thing you did there.

[alpha wizard]

Sorry I'm slow checking back, did not expect that many replies. Now I realize I sent her too many presents, including flowers. I couldn't stop myself, she had really acted like she liked me. She probably was already involved with someone and just thought I was cute.

 

I personally don't think stalking is the right word for what I did, I live 1000 miles away! I was just trying to show how much I cared. She probably thought I was trying to buy her. I feel so stupid.

 

Don't get me wrong about her wanting the attention. I wanted her to have all the attention, that's why I showed all my attention.

 

I made it clear that I would be happy to just be her friend. She's really nice and shy.

 

I'm not too concerned about about the bad mark on my police record. I don't know why I even mentioned that really. A policeman left me a voice-mail to call him. I did and he told me she was "pretty upset" about me. Before he had the chance to say much of anything I told him not to worry, I'd never try to contact her again. Maybe it wasn't definitely the end, I might have dug my own hole.

 

I am a bonafide wizard because of a scientific discovery I made as a child. I am nobel prize material if I were to prove my theory for myself.

[Lucky_One]

Again, I think this is one of the posts that would benefit from hearing the 'other side'. I certainly don't have enough information from the bona fide scientific wizard to conclude that this girl needs therapy, is off her rocker, or distorted the entire thing.

[KikiW]

Sorry, AW, all I am getting from you is that you went overboard with absolutely no reason to. She never showed any reciprocation and yet you kept at her. How often were you sending her emails or calling? Once a week? Once a day? More than once a day? How many gifts did you send? Over how long a period of time?

 

Even your comment "Maybe it wasn't definitely the end, I might have dug my own hole." tells me you are hoping she will come around or something. Dude, when a girl calls the COPS to have them talk to you about how weirded out they are are about you, LET IT GO.

[lovelorcet]

I am a bonafide wizard because of a scientific discovery I made as a child. I am nobel prize material if I were to prove my theory for myself.

 

Some how I get the feeling you live in a fantasy world and wonder how out of touch you are with reality. Scientific Nobel prizes are not awarded to people who prove theories for themselves but are given to exceptional discoveries which have gone through a proper peer review process.

[alpha wizard]

The thread is over, please don't write anything else. Thank-you.

[Jilly Bean]

A-Wiz - while you were sending her gifts and flowers and what not, did she ever ONCE contact you? Or, was all of your attention purely one-sided?

 

If so, it's important to realize that what you were doing is classified as stalking. Stalking is the unwelcomed contact and attention from another person. I do hope you take this seriously, or next time it won't be a slap on the wrist from the law. Having a stalking violation on your record isn't something to be dismissed.

[Lucky_One]

The thread is over, please don't write anything else. Thank-you.

 

But I want to talk about it. I don't care if you aren't interested. I am interested. So I am going to keep bumping this up, even though you aren't interested.

 

(Now think what it would be like if I were emailing you or sending you presents about this.)

[lovelorcet]

I find it quite interesting and rather telling that you try to "end" this thread. In other words you are not hearing what you want to hear and therefore try to remove yourself from this "reality."

 

Actively being delusional?