Will Your Marriage Crash and Burn?

[Lauriebell82]

I'm not getting a wedding planner, is that a rare thing to do? People seem surprised by it.

 

I'm not getting a wedding planner either. They are fairly pricey actually, I did some research. If you come up with a reasonable budget and write out a chart and get a planner binder it's not that hard. That's what my plan is.

[Touche]

I'm not getting a wedding planner, is that a rare thing to do? People seem surprised by it.

 

Allina! Congrats! I just now saw your thread...yay!

 

Nah...I don't think most people bother with that...I didn't. It's a personal choice thing. I'm too much of a control freak I guess to want to turn that over to others...but that's me.

[Touche]

I'm not getting a wedding planner either. They are fairly pricey actually, I did some research. If you come up with a reasonable budget and write out a chart and get a planner binder it's not that hard. That's what my plan is.

 

I agree with this.

[Trialbyfire]

Thanks Touche. It's really important to both of us that the family get along. Much less stressful and more fun, at family get-togethers.

 

allina, we did get a wedding planner who fired herself, after extended exposure to the Moms, who happily took over.

[allina]

Allina! Congrats! I just now saw your thread...yay!

 

Nah...I don't think most people bother with that...I didn't. It's a personal choice thing. I'm too much of a control freak I guess to want to turn that over to others...but that's me.

 

Thanks, I'm so excited!

 

allina, we did get a wedding planner who fired herself, after extended exposure to the Moms, who happily took over.

 

:laugh:

[Touche]

Thanks Touche. It's really important to both of us that the family get along. Much less stressful and more fun, at family get-togethers.

 

allina, we did get a wedding planner who fired herself, after extended exposure to the Moms, who happily took over.

 

I hear you. As you know, my family doesn't always get along. But I roll with the punches. I wish it could be different. But it is what it is. We all have different stuff to deal with in life don't we? If it's not one thing, it's another.

[Lyssa]

Hey, he's got what it takes on the inside, which combined with a "pretty" outside, makes him a keeper!

 

I'll pass on both your comments. Since his head isn't too big to fit through the door type, he'll appreciate it.

 

I do have to dispute the MIL comment. We both welcome his Mom's interest in the wedding. It's really nice to see the Momzillas bonding. They are oh, so bad together!

 

Yes, he is a keeper!

 

I wish my mother was still around. My MIL is pretty laid back so that's good .

[Trialbyfire]

I hear you. As you know, my family doesn't always get along. But I roll with the punches. I wish it could be different. But it is what it is. We all have different stuff to deal with in life don't we? If it's not one thing, it's another.

I know you try to hold it together with your family, which is admirable. Hell, I have a whacked out sister that gets along with no one in the family but we do keep it civil.

 

I was more talking about combining families which is working nicely.

 

Yes, he is a keeper!

 

I wish my mother was still around. My MIL is pretty laid back so that's good .

Awww...that's sad about your Mom but if not in body, I'm sure she's here in spirit.

 

Laid back is good!

[Touche]

Yes, i see what you're saying TBF.

 

Funny but I actually get along better with his side of the family (including his ex!) than my own.

[Star Gazer]

Touche - I agree, that when the bride freaks out and worries about trivial things, that's a really bad sign. I'm also curious to see who freaks out over the bachelor party...

 

I'm not getting a wedding planner, is that a rare thing to do? People seem surprised by it.

 

I don't think so. Most of the places you're looking at already have a "day of" coordinator that comes with the site fee... that's all you really need. You don't want to have to worry about organizing the timing and set up of the caterer and flowers and everything else on your day, so that's what they do. But you certainly don't need their help picking stuff out, as a traditional wedding planner does.

 

And TBF... your fiance looks younger than he is. Niiiiice.

[allina]

Touche - I agree, that when the bride freaks out and worries about trivial things, that's a really bad sign. I'm also curious to see who freaks out over the bachelor party...

 

 

 

I don't think so. Most of the places you're looking at already have a "day of" coordinator that comes with the site fee... that's all you really need. You don't want to have to worry about organizing the timing and set up of the caterer and flowers and everything else on your day, so that's what they do. But you certainly don't need their help picking stuff out, as a traditional wedding planner does.

 

And TBF... your fiance looks younger than he is. Niiiiice.

 

I wanna see a pic of TBF's fiance!

 

And SG, I got information from that place you showed me, looks great! I'm in contact with them and will schedule a site tour when I get back from vacation. My fiance and parents like what they saw as well

[Trialbyfire]

SG, you think he looks younger than 36? He's going to love you for that!

 

I thought he was older when I met him, since he has character and laugh lines, which I adore.

 

Or maybe it's because he's not smiling so many of the lines don't show in the pics.

 

To add to a sign of marriage failure, how sexually compatible are you? If there are huge gaps between drives and/or how adventurous/vanilla you are, guaranteed, there will be issues!

[Star Gazer]

And SG, I got information from that place you showed me, looks great! I'm in contact with them and will schedule a site tour when I get back from vacation. My fiance and parents like what they saw as well

 

AWESOME! I was talking about that place last night... Apparently BF's brother and his fiance looked there and found out it was way outside of their budget (which is supposed to be almost unlimited, so I don't get it). BUT they are having a HUGE wedding, so what they'd have to pay would be much more than you do.

 

I hope it works out - it's absolutely gorgeous there, isn't it?!!?

 

 

SG, you think he looks younger than 36? He's going to love you for that!

 

He looks 29-31 to me!

[Touche]

OH yes...Sexual compatibility is a good one. Yep.

[Adunaphel]

Interesting article...thanks for sharing!

(I just learned that either my future-but-still hypothetical marriage is going to crash, though, as I am one of those ladies who'd freak over a bachelor party.)

[Touche]

Interesting article...thanks for sharing!

(I just learned that either my future-but-still hypothetical marriage is going to crash, though, as I am one of those ladies who'd freak over a bachelor party.)

 

Yw, Ad!

 

And yikes! Better marry a man who isn't into that sort of thing.

[subdued]

> The Bride Refuses to Let the Groom Choose the Cake

 

That's why I'm going to have three cakes at my wedding. I already have the recipes and took the cake decorating classes to learn how to decorate them. Plus, I have the three tier stand to put the cakes on.

 

The largest is going to be a German chocolate cake--that's what my boyfriend wants. The second largest is going to be a strawberry shortcake--that's what I what. The top cake is going to be a two-tiered almond wedding cake.

[subdued]

Yw, Ad!

 

And yikes! Better marry a man who isn't into that sort of thing.

 

Yah. Thank goodness, my boyfriend isn't into this sort of thing. I've read some really scary stories on the Internet.

[Trialbyfire]

> The Bride Refuses to Let the Groom Choose the Cake

 

That's why I'm going to have three cakes at my wedding. I already have the recipes and took the cake decorating classes to learn how to decorate them. Plus, I have the three tier stand to put the cakes on.

 

The largest is going to be a German chocolate cake--that's what my boyfriend wants. The second largest is going to be a strawberry shortcake--that's what I what. The top cake is going to be a two-tiered almond wedding cake.

While I think this is a lovely idea, when exactly do you plan to find the time to do this, previous to the wedding? Things get pretty insane, about a month before the wedding.

[subdued]

While I think this is a lovely idea, when exactly do you plan to find the time to do this, previous to the wedding? Things get pretty insane, about a month before the wedding.

 

I can make all three cakes the day before the wedding.

 

I already tried it out. It took me one day to make all three cakes for dinner--and that included running back and forth to and from the food store, because I had forgotten ingredients.

 

Many of the items can be prepared ahead of time. I can make the color-filled butterflies for the wedding cake weeks in advance. I'll make the fondant for the tiered wedding cake a few days in advance. The decorations are simple. I'm using real roses and ribbon for the tiered wedding cake. The strawberry shortcake has a heart made out of red LEDs to put on top. The sides are strawberries cut so that they are in heart shapes. The German chocolate cake has a special topper that I bought for my boyfriend. Decorations are very basic--all learned in Wilton's cake decorating classes.

 

My younger daughter and I did a ton of DIY stuff for my older daughter's wedding. So I know what is involved. It really isn't much if you plan ahead, have help, and don't leave everything for the last minute. Besides we are all very artistic in my family.

[Lizzie60]

Exactly. At least someone here gets it.

 

Oh and Lyssa..you get it too.

 

Of course...

 

[Touche]

Subdued, good for you! That's quite an ambitious undertaking.

[sb129]

It's less about the wedding cake and more about how the two of you feel about each other, in other words, how much you respect the other person's wishes, desires and most importantly needs. That's the iron hand comment they made in the article.

 

Which is why people who can't compromise when negative emotions are high, shouldn't be together. Either one or both isn't willing to respect the other or give.

 

Agreed. WB chose the cake- and it was awesome. He also chose the flowers and did all the stationary designs himself.

 

He also told his mother to "pull her head in unless she planned on making a financial contribution to the wedding"

 

My dress cost a fraction of the total wedding cost (I think it was 5% or something like that) and I was totally cool with the bachelor party.

In fact WB had two! (but the second one was a combined one with me...)

 

Looking good so far I guess.

I'm not getting a wedding planner, is that a rare thing to do? People seem surprised by it.

 

I didn't. I don't know anyone that had a wedding planner.

I think I would find one a little bit irritating.

[subdued]

I don't see the need for a wedding planner either, not when I have a computer. I put everything in one folder--my wedding folder. And then if I need to store information to take with me, I can always use my iPod Touch.

[Art_Critic]

I think that article is a bunch of hooey....

 

Marriages end for there own variety of 100's of reasons and other than some fall into patterns, most are mainly communication issues.

 

Take a couple married 30 years and then they divorce.. nothing in that article holds true after maybe 3 months..

 

I can't see how picking out the wedding cake is a flag to whether or not a marriage will make it.. hahahaha

 

We all have seen our friends get married and sometimes we think they are marrying the wrong person and we make comments like " I give it 6 months " or " they will divorce in a year " only to find out they are still married after 20 years.... well we make assumptions based on stuff like that article is written about...