lovebound Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Last week I gave my number to a guy that works at a bar I frequently attend in our community. I know he is single and divorced, and i have talked to him a number of times. He is really sweet and though he is not the most attractive man, i really liked his personality. so i thought that I would ask him if he wanted to do something together one day! He seemed shocked but happy to hear that, then i gave him my number and said to call me some time. He said that he would. A week has gone by and he never called. I know that he is not seeing anyone since he said so just a day before i gave him my number. People constantly ask me how come i am single since i am so pretty and nice. what is wrong with me? I do not seem to find anyone that wants to take me out, even just as friendly companionship. My best friend thought for sure that he would call, specially since he is so shy and nice and he knows him for a longer time than i do. I just went to the bar with some friends and he said hi from a distance but did not come to talk to me. I was only there for a brief period of time, then i left so, what should i think now? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Doubtful it's anything to do with you...how long is he divorced? Sometimes people don't want to date for a while after going through this. Or, it could be that he is dating someone. Either way he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. But he's probably still glad he got your number. He's probably just thinking he'll use it if he's ready to date again or if his current dating situation, allows him to. I've given my # to several bartenders, I don't think any of them ever called. They get hit on a lot, usually. They meet an awful lot of single, guy-seeking women, you know. There is also the money factor. It sounds silly, but if they hurt your feelings they might lose a regular customer. I used to go talk to a bartender guy I liked because I knew him from high school, and finally gave him my # once. He appeared glad to get it; but later I found out he had a pretty serious girlfriend. He was likely worried that this info would = less tips in his pocket. It can be complicated to try and date anyone in the restaurant industry, really....because it's a VERY social industry with soo many young and single people that work in it and play in it. If your one of those people, the options are abundant, so even if you date one there's always trust issues. Think about having a bartender boyfriend that gets phone #'s thrown at him almost every time he goes to work. Ugh, I'd hate it. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Give it some more time. Thanks to recent times, if a guy calls too soon then he's too needy and gets a bad rep. Apparently, there's a 1/2 second window to make the call in. If he's too late, then he's a jerk. Too soon, he's a clingy sissy. If it goes one more week, sick your mutual friend on him. Tell him to ask the other guy why he hasn't called you. When you say you went to the bar with some "friends" are they male or female? When you see this bartender, are you with with more guy's than girls, on average? I ask because if this bartender always sees you surrounded by dudes, then he could feel that he's just going to be another one of your posse, and he'll assume he has zero shot at you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebound Posted June 28, 2009 Author Share Posted June 28, 2009 Well, the friends i was hanging out with were one girl and a few guys, but these are just regulars at the bar, do you think this could have been read wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Well, the friends i was hanging out with were one girl and a few guys, but these are just regulars at the bar, do you think this could have been read wrong? Yea WT had a good theory, because your "posse" is made up of mostly guys...he may not think you are that serious about wanting him to call you. Next time make the effort to smile and have conversation with him, but don't bring up the phone call. Just smile or flirt. Link to post Share on other sites
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