Were broke up, hes with someone else and were still having sex. Im lost !!

[mfrmboy]

Please help I don't know what to do!

 

We were in a loving relationship for over 7 yrs. we got along great no real big arguments just general lover spats, small things.People said we were the perfect couple.

 

We had trust in each other I would let him go off on weekend excursions with his friends from time to time. We are both male and his friends were female or married couples. so no problem!

 

Then one weekend we were camping with a group of friends he had made and he told me that there was a rumor of him and this other guy sleeping together. well I knew this was not true, no opportunity. Then he tells me that this guy had slept in our camper on the floor, the weekend before. My cousin was there and slept in the bed with my ex. So I knew nothing happened.

 

In December two weeks before Christmas I lost my job then before I could get another I got ran over by a horse and broke my hand and took a hoof to the back of my head. so I was out of commission. Then two weeks later I took my cast off myself and got a job waiting tables of all things. It was very painful. a friend owned a sub shop and asked me to come to work there. within a few weeks I went full time and was making pretty good money.

 

Then one day he said he was gonna spend the night at a friends house and left with the cell phone. well I don't have long distance on my home phone so before he could get very far I called him and met him to get the cell phone back because I had to make some out of town calls.

 

Well within thirty minutes the phone rang,(we sound alike on the phone) the caller was a man and asked if I was on the way. Well I played along at first to get info and then told them who I was and they started saying he must have the wrong number.well I was infuriated and kept calling him and telling them to have my ex call me as soon as he got there. well about an hour later I got the call and he swore nothing was going on. He returned home a few hours later.

This was my first sign there was a problem.

 

We talked and I thought things were worked out,Then one month went by he comes in and tells me hes moving out. I was floorborded I still don't know why.

I did everything cleaned the house ,worked ,cared for the animals,did all the cooking and we had a great sex life. He was a bit lazy

 

He moved into his mothers house for a week and a half then he moved out to a guys house in another town (the guy from the camping trip who is trash). They slept in the camper because the guys bed room was full of junk and he wouldnt clean it out. His parents live there also. I went in the house once and it was a wreck dog crap and piss all over. I was nice enough to have let this guy sleep in the camper on the floor one night months before my ex moved in with him.

 

Well come to find out this guy had a girl pregnant and is on probation for drugs.so heCant drive and has no vehicle. I don't understand I keep a clean house and Im kind, considerate, good looking and phisically fit. I get told all the time that I would be the perfect husband. This guy is over weight ,lazy and not very attractive to say the least.

They are not sexually compatibale. My ex is a bottom and this guy is bisexual and a bottom also. Im a top and had good staminia, like I said we had great mindblowing sex.

 

well my ex wanted to get back together so I let him move back in. Two weeks went by and things were going great I had forgiven him and the sex had increased to two and three times a day.We were getting along fine then without warning he came in and again told me he was moving out. He went straight back to that guys house. This was the day before my birthday(the begining of september) SO it hasnt been long.

 

I still talk to him and he still wants to have sex with me (That guy cant keep it up and it is sevearly ell shaped and very small so ive been told). Ive had sex with my ex a few times since hes left and its still out of this world. He tells me that I am the one he should be with and that all him and the other guy do is argue all the time.Plus he wont keep a job. The baby has been born and she will not let the guy or the grand parents see the baby as long as he is with my ex. Plus the guy has a violent temper and has choked my ex on one occasion that I know of.

 

I think Im better off without him and he does not want me back full time. Ive talked to him about getting an apartment or moving into his mothers until he can get on his feet and we could still see eachother /date /have sex etc. But he is still with this guy and Im still alone. I know there is someone out there for me who will not take me for granted, who will truly love me .

 

The other day we were starting to have sex and the phone rang I told him to answer it and sure enough it was the other guy. well I entered him while he was on the phone. At the end of the short conversation He said i love you to before hanging up the phone and it hurt me but then again it turned me on more. Im lost I don't know what to do, I still have feelings for him and the sex is wonderful He loves it as much as I do. Do I continue with the way things are and wait for that special someone or do I break it off and be lonely and sexless.

 

I want to pound the other guy into the ground and I am capibale of doing so but does that make me the bigger person. I just don't know what to do, please help me, Im going out of my mind!

[IRULE]

well if this is serious get rid of him,also that was to much information.

[mfrmboy]

 

 

I'm trying to let the forum know the type of things going on, thoughts,feeling's,

etc. There's alot of hurt and anger still. It seems like the best way to get some sort

of payback. Is to stay in his mind and hurt the heart.Trust me I know it bothers him

that I will not take him back. When he finds out that Ive gone out with someone he

has a fit. Ive gone out on a couple of dates. A childhood friend moved in for 2

weeks,we are better friends than lovers. We were there for eachother, him also

recently out of a long term relationship. Comforting eachother. There were alot of

tears.

My ex was beside himself when he found out my childhood friend was staying with

me.

It didnt help matters much that my friend is a buff very handsome Brad Pitt type of guy.

I had several friends and him himself tell me how much it hurt him. It made me feel great to know that It was hurting him.

Am I wrong to want to give him some of the pain back? It does hurt me some but I get alot more satisfaction than pain.

[kclay21]

In this situation you are in... you seem more like a volunteer than a victim. Think about that. You will eventually understand.

 

 

kc

[Dreamgirl03]

This is something I can relate to...My ex fiancee and i broke up in april this year..he is now *seeing* these 2 other girls and i`m dating another guy...but he still talks to me...but the only time he does is when he wants sex and cant get any from them..so he runs to me..but other than that, i dont hear anything from him. LOL...its messed up.

[mfrmboy]

I guess I am a volunteer as far as the sex goes,but not for the break up or the pain he caused me! I do feel that I should leave him alone. I think that by still having sex with him Im not letting myself move on.

He's not comming back and I am sure of that. He says he's still there with him because he doesnt want to be alone. Well he had no problem leaving me alone. He is so selfish and Im just letting him be.

Like I said the sex we have is great, but I am having a problem with him being with the other guy!

If he were to get the apartment I dont think us remaining friends with benefits would be a problem.

I was told that this guy was about to dump him, we'll see.

 

OH well, you reap what you sow!

[DaVid19]

exact same thing is happening with me

im a guy and the person i was involved with was a guy aswell.. but now he has a girlfriend and wants noting to do with me as a friend anymore (we used to be best friends)... however whenever we are drunk at the same place we will end up having sex. i need to stop myself from letting this happen because im still in love with him. i miss his friendship more than anything.

[mfrmboy]

David19

It is really hard to handle. Did he express his love for you? These guys want to have their cake and eat it to. My ex didnt get dumped yet. I spoke with him today and he was very short and couldnt talk because the other guy was standing beside him. Im getting so tired of this cat and mouse game.

I need to just move on, But its so hard.

[mfrmboy]

Thats it Ive had it! He's through. However I am gonna set up one more meeting with him. Im gonna let him know how I feel and then ask him if he wants to tell his man or should I. Because I do feel he needs to know what type of A**hole hes hooked up with.

I have conversations between us on tape and he incriminates himself over and over. Plus talks really bad about his man and how ugly his baby is.

Then I bet he'll kick him to the curb!

Ha!Ha!Ha!

I hope you folks dont think this is wrong of me, because it feels sooo goood!!!!!!!!

Plus he is supposed to break it off with him anyway, so I'll just speed it along!

I'll kill two birds with one stone. I can hurt both of them at once!! I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[moimeme]

You'll find it doesn't feel nearly as good as you seem to think it will.

[mfrmboy]

When I think about it,mabye your right. After all they are doomed to have any kind of good relationship. I found out this morning that the guy stoll my ex's truck, check book and ID. I called the salon where he works (my ex) and his mother answered the phone. I just talked idle chit chat with her and she thinks he has lost his mind,as do I and alot of other people. She said he called into work sick. I bet he is sick seeing as the truck is in his mom's name. There is no way he would tell her that the truck was stollen. She would take it away. I'm not gonna say anything after all. Their story just keeps getting crazier. I think they are both nut's.

[mfrmboy]

The plot thickens......... My ex called me tonight before I left for work and told me that he was leaving the other guy. Said the guy had jerked the stearing wheel across 4 lanes of traffic. Said (no one can have you if I cant). Almost causing them both to be killed.

He told me that the police were on the way to help him get his things. He said he was going to his mothers. Which is right around the corner from me.

this is the second time he has left him.

The first time he came back to me and then two weeks later went right back to him.

He says that he is through with him and he wont be going back. Ive heard that before.

He can live at his mom's and Ill talk to him even date him. It will be a long time before I can accept him as a life partener again.

I dont know how long it will take to rebuild trust or if it can be.

Im do still love him and it makes me say, think and do crazy things.

I dont know if I even want him back. My mind and my heart are pulling me in opposite directions.

I know what hes done to me in the past and I know a zebra doesnt change stripes. Then mabye he has learned his lesson or mabye its me who hasnt learned mine.

I dont know,all I do know is it hurts and I dont think I could handle another breakup. The last time I had a nervous breakdown. Any advice is greatly appreciated! Thank You!!

[LauraD]

It sounds as if your boyfriend is acting immaturely and is not ready to have a monogamous relationship. You seem to refer back to the sex often; is this an indicator of the basis of your relationship? Forgive me, because I'm sure there is much more to the relationship than that. But you seem to be glossing over the negative by allowing the physical relationship to continue. I understand how difficult it can be to allow that space, but maybe you should try to give him room to figure out what's going on. Rather than meet up with him to be cruel, I would try to civilly explain how he has hurt you and what you see is wrong with the whole picture. I've found that genuine honesty with good intent is the best way to resolve problems. Hopefully your ex is the type of person who can appreciate this approach.

[mfrmboy]

He has moved back home with his parents,around the corner from me. We spent the past couple of days together. His family loves me and I spent thanksgiving with him and his family.

We have talked and he is gonna stay with his parents. I told him that he has burned me twice and its not gonna happen again.

Were gonna take it nice and slow, I want him to be sure about what he wants.

We have been together for almost eight years and when we got together he was only 20yrs. old sheltered and inexperienced.

I was 27 and had lived a very colorful life. I was one of the people that everyone knew, invited to all the best parties, traveled extensivly. I have experienced a whole lot more in life than he has.

I really dont know if I will accept him back but, I do love him and pray that everything we've gone through will make us stronger and not destroy us.

He pretty much already has done the latter.

My defenses are up, Im not just gonna blindly jump back into us living together as life parteners.

He has hurt me too bad in the past.

Yes I admit that I have refered to how great the sex was/is but at the time that was all I had to hang on to.

Our life together before he went and did all that stupid sh**was quite good, we got along and I thought he truly loved me and I trusted him. But I guess that I was just going through life blindly.

He says he wants to work it out now and it would be nice.

Because after all I devoted years to him and do love him wholeheartly.

I hope that the past few months we have been apart has been a learning experience for him and he realizes that life out there can not compare to the life we share together.

I try not to talk about the other guy or ask questions because I feel that its taking up us time with thoughts of him.

I had rather him be gone period.

I do deeply love him and after all he's put me through I just hope he is able to return it to me.

When I refer to the home we lived in together and that I still do, I refer to it as my home,my house or my property. I feel as though that helps establish some sort of barrier and to let him know that I can do just fine without him.

When he left I began redecorating and the interrior of the house is much nicer than when he lived there.

I let him know that it would be atleast spring before I would even consider him moving back in with me.

Am I doing things the right way? I hope that I am.

The only down side of him being back in my life is that I eat healthy, workout and dont smoke.

He eats sort of healthy, does not workout and smokes.

I am a big time romantic and do alot of things to show it.

This could be why I was wearing rose colored glasses all that time.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. THANK YOU!!!!

[mfrmboy]

Well here we go! I wentmy ex's mothers last night and met up with my ex. He was upset and I could tell he had been crying.

He was on the phone with a mutual friend.

She wanted to speak to me.

Told me to cheer him up because they were on three way with the other guy and he was telling her about how he had been cheating on my ex with his ex.

I told her that I didnt have any sympothy for him because He was stupid to be with him in the first place. Plus he(my ex) was cheating on him with me!

When I spoke to him I told him how I felt about the situation and offered to go to the doctor with him on monday to get checked out.

He declined and said it was something he had to do on his own.

I still dont know if I really want him back, Im confused I guess because I do love him and we were together for so long.

But then what happens when things get a little rocky again. He will probably take off again. Who knows!

I told him it would be atleast spring before I would even consider him comming home.

I think this will be enough time for him and myself to get things worked out and decide if we do want to get back together as life parteners.

I dont know if I can trust him again. Only time will tell.

After all I didnt think he would be back and he is.

I think its sad, it seems as though he is just bouncing around lost and cant be alone.

I do truly love him yet I hate him for what he has done to me and for playing with my emotions, breaking my heart 2 times.

[mfrmboy]

Things are going good so far.

The other guy is out of the picture for good!

My ex went today and filed a law suit against him

for some horse dealings.

I wish I knew what to do.

I feel that Im still deeply in love with him but Im just so

scared because of our recent past.

I really dont know if I want him back.

Its so nice to have someone expecially here during the

holidays.

I just think that if he wasnt happy the two times he left before,

why would this time be any different.

He claims he loves me.

Then on the other hand mabye his time away made him realise that what we

had was special.

Im just gonna play it by ear and pray it works out.

I dont know what else to do!

I love him! But I dont think thats enough!

[mfrmboy]

I was at the salon a couple of days ago and the other guy called ! I left and went to the store. When I returned I informed him that if he expected us to work he didnt need to talk to him.

Fast forward I was with him at his mothers watching tv when the phone rang it was the other guy. They spoke for a minute and then he told him he would call him back.

I got an attitude and told him I was going home and said he had a phone call to make.

I no more got out of the driveway, turned around and went back. of course he was on the phone with him.

I was like you couldnt wait to get on the phone could you.

Then asked how he could do this again. The guy had abused him, used him and drug him down.

My ex was all defensive and said he didnt know what he wanted. I told him if he wanted me he knew he would haft to not talk to the other guy. He said he was not going to. I told him you dont love me enough to cut him off and then proceded to tell him.

That there is no way we will ever be a couple again because I would never be able to trust him and we want different things out of life.

I want to see the world and he wont go anywhere he cant ride his horse.

I also told him I was sorry because we had been best friends, companions and lovers for a long time.

I hated for it to end but it was pretty much over when he slept with the other guy anyway.

Im handling everything quite well just a few tears>I think all the water works ran out after the first two times.

Im pretty much numb now!

I believe Ive done the right thing. I just couldnt see it working and I cant go through that heartache again.

Im better off and one day Im sure Ill meet the right one for me!

Until then I can get by on my own. Im normally a very level headed person

Its just that this love thing had me all screwed up!

I can get my life back on track and not haft to worry about him!

I am strong and I will survive!!! Thank GOD it's over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DerangedAngel]

Wow, I've tried to keep up but don't know if I've done much of a job! Anyway, I hope you are able to keep from getting hurt again. If your choice is final, be strong in it. Good luck with life and to finding someone new!

[mfrmboy]

well I found out today that he has moved back in with the other guy! Didnt

Take long. A day.

I am so happy he is finally out of my life!

I confronted him after he got off work and told him I never wanted to see or hear from him again.

Although I would like to mail the recorded sex talk tapes to his man.

Just for kicks!

Let him know what kind of a dog he is getting.

But then does it really matter.

Because he's a dog himself.

Everyone has had it with him, even his parents, I went by and had a long conversation with them tonight.

My heat is out now and they invited me to stay the night with them for as long as it took to get it fixed.

Aint that a trip!!!

[mfrmboy]

On second thought why should I let him know about my ex's cheating on him with me!

They deserve eachother.

Their both dog's.

They deserve what happens.

But it would make a great christmas gift !

Make this christmas one to remember.