Thomas X Forever Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I wanna beat the heck out of EVERY person on this board who say things, referring to a break up, like "its for another person". LISTEN NUMBSKULLS. I asked for a break/broke up with two of my girlfriends in the past, and it was NEVER FOR SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then my recent ex asked for a break, and I know the real reasons, and it wasn't for someone else. SO STOP SOUNDING LIKE AN UNEDUCATED BROKEN RECORD. You don't know psychology, and you aren't a master of why someone breaks up with someone. THATS the harsh truth. Just because you got screwed, doesn't mean we all screw over people like that. I broke up with my first gf because she had mental troubles that wouldn't go away. (Borderline PD) I asked for a break from my second gf because I couldn't keep up, it was a failure on my part. My recent gf broke up with me from pressure through her parents to apply herself for grades/other time restraints. To all you new people who were broken up with: DON'T LISTEN TO THE JADED PEOPLE ON THIS BOARD WHO SAY ITS 99% OF THE TIME FOR SOMEONE ELSE. That's a failure on the parts of those saying it; they're making generalizations and assumptions because their minds apparently can't comprehend the many scenarios that can cause a break up. /End rant Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 A majority of the time it is for someone else. Humans as a general rule just aren't self actualized enough to break up with someone just because it is the best thing to do. People are afraid of loneliness for the most part, and if the relationship is bearable, they will usually stay. If there is someone else, they will not. Now, that said - if the relationship is truly horrible and the fear of staying outweighs the fear of loneliness then yes, they leave and not for someone else. Note the keyword here: fear. Fear is one of the four F's that guides people in their decisions. It is a rare few who transcend that and end things simply because they need to be ended. Those rare few aren't usually the ones you hear about here. If you were to compile all of the 'break' and 'breakup' threads here and compare the ones that were a result of necessity to the ones that were because of 'someone else' you'd see it very, very heavy on the 'someone else' side. Why? Because that is just how it is. Humans are social animals, and to choose to go off alone for no other reason than to be alone is rare. I'll agree that there are exceptions - but when you hear the same BS lines that you yourself (meaning me and others like me) foisted off on someone else (like I did many, many a time) you recognize it for what it is in other people's threads. Plus some of us do have a psych/human behavior background, and that figures into some of the posts. You named three personal examples that were the exception. People can point out here on LS hundreds, if not thousands that aren't. Link to post Share on other sites
Girlygal Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Wow, calm down now. While yes most of us are NOT physcologist, we are trying to do the best we can by providing open and honest advice. It does not mean that you MUST listen to it or even heed it. Many people come here to find a little serentiy and perhaps guidance. And you have the option to throw your 2 cents worth in as well. I have found the postings here insightful and helpful, i am sorry that you do not feel the same way. But a post such as this one is counter productive. I do however hope that it in some way made you feel better, because afterall that is what these posts are for. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thomas X Forever Posted June 29, 2009 Author Share Posted June 29, 2009 Maybe so, but I still strongly disagree. Every one of my close friends broke up with their gf's in their pasts without moving on to someone else anytime soon. No one in my personal life, including my father, me, best friends, and even some acquaintances, have broken up for someone else. It is a failure on the parts of the people on this board who state such generalizations. That's that. They're generalizing, most likely from their own experience. That's just not the case when it comes to the real world. I wouldn't ever break up with someone for someone else. This topic ISN'T counter productive. You don't realize, these people who don't know why they were left, they will listen to jaded people who claim it was for someone else. And that can ruin any chance or hope they have. THAT'S what's counter productive. THIS topic is to counter that, and it sure isn't countering something productive. PERIOD. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 they're making generalizations and assumptions because their minds apparently can't comprehend the many scenarios that can cause a break up. You have made "generalizations and assumptions" about those that jump from relationship to relationship. Pot meet Kettle. Kettle meet Pot. Feel free to continue ranting and screaming at each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 You have made "generalizations and assumptions" about those that jump from relationship to relationship. I couldn't agree more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thomas X Forever Posted June 29, 2009 Author Share Posted June 29, 2009 Incorrect Island Girl, I'm saying what I'm saying to BROADEN their spectrum's. I was already aware that it DOES happen to some people; these people who state it, though, fail to realize it ISN'T 99% of people who do it. I am not trying to weigh down everyone with something. I'm trying to free them by widening their knowledge. THAT'S the difference, and that's why I'm not the pot. Link to post Share on other sites
Girlygal Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 You have made "generalizations and assumptions" about those that jump from relationship to relationship. Pot meet Kettle. Kettle meet Pot. Feel free to continue ranting and screaming at each other. You always make me laugh!! BTW- I wonder.....as a Hollywood dreamer, could perhaps many of your relationships be as hollow as the roles you play? I would be interested if to know if this side of your personailty is in some way related to a role you are getting ready to portray? I do so love to watch those wonderful comercials your in *wink* Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I for one, would bet money she didnt leave you because of someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thomas X Forever Posted June 29, 2009 Author Share Posted June 29, 2009 Lol 2sure how amusing. Did you learn to analyze that observation through your PhD in hard knocks? And as for girlygal... I don't ever take modeling/acting away from in front of the camera. The second you lie to someone, the second you compromise everything you are. I will not compromise honesty or my word at any cost, except to save someones life. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Without ever feeling vitriolic about it, I actually agree with Thomas X. I always cringe when people immediately jump to the conclusion it means there's someone else. Like him, that's never been the reason for any of my break ups nor has it been a pattern in my friend's lives. People break up for so many reasons, a fraction of which is "someone else". When one reads LS, one has the impression that 94% of posters here are honest, kind-hearted souls, while 94% of people are there are just looking out for themselves and will s*ru you over the first chance they get. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 It is a failure on the parts of the people on this board who state such generalizations. That's that. They're generalizing, most likely from their own experience. That's just not the case when it comes to the real world. That is a generalization. they will listen to jaded people who claim it was for someone else. And that can ruin any chance or hope they have. THAT'S what's counter productive. THIS topic is to counter that, and it sure isn't countering something productive. Not all of us are jaded. Some of us are the ones who made other people jaded with appalling and often inexcusable actions, and point familiar red flags out to others. I would hope that people who take advice here take it as just something to consider and not something they should run right out and do. That is a choice though that each of us has to make. Blaming someone else for your choices regardless of what advice led to that choice is not a good thing. Counter productivity doesn't come from input. It comes from what you do with that input and what output you make of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thomas X Forever Posted June 29, 2009 Author Share Posted June 29, 2009 Damn straight Kamille. Welcome to the topic, my shoulders were getting heavy carrying all the weight. Lucrezia and Girlygal are welcome in this topic any time, though, I like them both. Link to post Share on other sites
Girlygal Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 well we shall agree to disagree, but i must say before i head out for the day, You really are adorable!! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Amazing! A post that says "Don't make generalizations about other people" is full of "generalizations about other people".... LMAO!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thomas X Forever Posted June 29, 2009 Author Share Posted June 29, 2009 Thank you girly you look beautiful in your pic. Sorry you're on this board. And lies, cali, go read the first few topics on this board, and COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES YOU SEE SOMEONE SAY THAT PEOPLE LEAVE PEOPLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE. That's the basis for this topic. It isn't a generalization when the evidence is in front of you in plenty. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 You really are adorable!! Agreed on this end as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 As someone who's never left anyone for someone else, I agree with you to an extent, in that people really should look at the posters involved AND the situation, before giving advice. Having said that, we've all misread the queues from assorted posters. As well, all threads are one-sided, since both parties aren't giving their perspectives. In other words, the opening posters give a biased perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
loveshy Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I would prefer to think that she left for someone else. That way I am not clinging on to her anymore. In my mind I have set she is already married with someone else and I don't want to have any hopes. Regards Maybe so, but I still strongly disagree. Every one of my close friends broke up with their gf's in their pasts without moving on to someone else anytime soon. No one in my personal life, including my father, me, best friends, and even some acquaintances, have broken up for someone else. It is a failure on the parts of the people on this board who state such generalizations. That's that. They're generalizing, most likely from their own experience. That's just not the case when it comes to the real world. I wouldn't ever break up with someone for someone else. This topic ISN'T counter productive. You don't realize, these people who don't know why they were left, they will listen to jaded people who claim it was for someone else. And that can ruin any chance or hope they have. THAT'S what's counter productive. THIS topic is to counter that, and it sure isn't countering something productive. PERIOD. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thomas X Forever Posted June 29, 2009 Author Share Posted June 29, 2009 Man I feel bad now. Let me clarify this topic is ONLY aimed at a select few who do this...... YOU AREN'T ALL GUILTY OF THIS, SO DON'T TAKE THIS TOPIC FIRST HAND... It's more to defend the majority of you, than to bash you. Sorry if unnecessary people were offended. It seriously was just aimed at the very select few people who consistently say "people leave you for another person". Everyone else on this board is supposed to benefit from this topic. And thanks lucrezia/trial by fire, I always enjoy you two Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Damn! You can do the "raise one eyebrow" thing?! I envy those who can do that. I'm still working on it Sorry for the T/J! Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I would prefer to think that she left for someone else. That way I am not clinging on to her anymore. In my mind I have set she is already married with someone else and I don't want to have any hopes. Regards I understand that. It is important to cut the cord, no matter how we do it. Personally, when someone leaves me, I prefer to go into introspection mode and analyze what didn't work in the relationship, so I can make better choices in the future. Whether they're with someone else or not is actually quite irrelevant. It doesn't change the fact that we didn't work out. I worry that the "left for someone else" excuse allows people to demonize their exes and not take responsibility for their share of what didn't work in the relationship to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thomas X Forever Posted June 29, 2009 Author Share Posted June 29, 2009 Damn! You can do the "raise one eyebrow" thing?! I envy those who can do that. I'm still working on it Sorry for the T/J! AAAH! I was wondering how people kept seeing my website! I didn't realize it was posted in my info for anyone to see. I thought that was a record thing for just the admin of the site. Damn it. Well, I'd better get to work on updating it now so that it's up to par. What's T/J mean though? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 T/J = Thread jack = diversion from primary topic Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Thank you girly you look beautiful in your pic. Sorry you're on this board. Really.?. The what are you doing here...? And the thread topic seems to be "This board sounds like an UNEDUCATED BROKEN RECORD". Sub-Topic: Dumpers don't always leave because of somebody else. When a person breaks up with somebody there may be an actual somebody else they already know or just the idea - or ideal - of somebody else out there. There is a very small minority that breaks up with their SO thinking they will be alone the rest of their life. BTW there is also a forum here for rants...but you hate it here, right...? Because we're uneducated and sound like broken records...? So you won't bother...? :rolleyes: Your website says you are outgoing and have a genuinely kind attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
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