Do they ever come back eventually?

[Kage111]

1. 4 years

 

2. Probably

 

3. Probably

 

4. She just didn't love me anymore.

 

5. We tried, but I couldn't handle that she was moving on so quickly so we stopped.

 

6. I haven't spoken to her since early January.

 

7. It doesn't look like that will ever happen.

 

8. I don't know if I would.

 

9. I don't expect her to come back.

 

10. I don't think I will ever be over her.

 

I don't know if that helps. The key ones here are 9 and 10. Don't expect she'll ever be back, and don't expect to ever get over her if she really meant something to you.

[asuman]

1. 4 years

9. I don't expect her to come back.

 

10. I don't think I will ever be over her.

 

I don't know if that helps. The key ones here are 9 and 10. Don't expect she'll ever be back, and don't expect to ever get over her if she really meant something to you.

 

Oh come on, that is absurd. Of course you will get over her. You just need to trust the passage of time and focus on positive activities in the meantime.

[lamaman3]

Congrats bro - party it up with some hot girls now.

[kizik]

I'm already a better person after 2 months and I'm still getting better every day. Meanwhile in the last letter she sent me, she said she's learned to respect herself more. WTF? She was already in love with herself. All she's done is increase her ego. I know for a fact she doesn't spend as much time "looking in the mirror" and trying to analyze what she could do better as a person. Oh well. Some day she'll figure it out. Right now it's still all about her. I'm glad she's learned to love herself even more, she'll be keeping herself company for a while.

 

It's funny, I'm not worried that I'll never be good enough for anybody again. It's the complete opposite, I've matured so much through this situation that I'm worried no girl will be at the same level of understanding that I'm at.

 

I absolutely love the points made above.

[heatherb16]

Here you go ( From a females perspective):

 

1. We were together for 1 year and 3 months.

2. Somewhat

3. Not at all.

4. We weren't upset with each other at all. In fact, I went to his house afterwards and we had a great talk that gave us both somewhat of a closure to the break-up. There was none of the blaming each other stuff or calling each other names. We both thanked each other for the time we had together. It's more difficult for me now. That talk gave me about one day of happiness. Then everything hit me. I lost him. Actually today, I became very angry with him. Started calling him names and throwing things at him he didn't deserve. It was just part of the break-up process.

5. It's only been two weeks, but yes. Today I made the decision for NC. Hope to stick with it.

6. No. Like I said, he was very willing to talk. I had a great guy. Still think that today.

7. We actually had a "break" about 6 months into our relationship where he told me he didn't want to be held down and wanted to have fun, but that we would for sure get back together when he was ready.. I should have known. I was played with. 2 months later he asked me back out and of course I said yes. It was our plan. But I should have known that if he second guessed himself once, then he would do it again. And he did. Shocker. But during our break we talked. We would hang out. We would kiss. And that's not how it should have been. I ignored the red flags because I was in love, and wouldn't let anything stop that.

8. Did I take them back? Well I believe you are talking about now. But I will tell ya that I wont take him back unless some major changes happen and it's a long time from now.

9. I'm changing this up a little since I can't answer that. But.. I DO expect him to come back again.

10. Not over him, of course. Still have a lot of things to work through.

 

As far as her coming back to you- You have to stay strong and know that you will find someone that is so much better for you. You can't wait around wondering if she will come back. She may never. And if she does, then who cares? She lost out on a great guy. It's her loss, not yours. She screwed up. In the meantime, have fun. Surround yourself with loving friends and family. Good luck and stay strong!

[EmperorR]

Nope they don't just waste your time.

[Jagdpanther]

I was so busy feeling unloved and unappreciated by her that it sparked my insecurity

 

well, I have been through similar relationship, very one sided.

 

You may well have 'loved her too much' (as mentioned by someone else), but as you say above, she did her part to spark those insecurities at times.

 

I cannot agree more with this. And I think they know they are doing this too. Is like a power thing. Keeps them in control.

 

I have also read this can be labelled as push pull dynamic,

 

But when the person we love doesn’t seem to (or we perceive it that way) want us as much as we want them, we lose that sense of security and our needs for reassurance for them intensify. This is when push/pull dynamics set in.

What to do? Recognize that push/pull never works, it only intensifies unequal positions on both ends. Instead pursue mutuality. Remain symmetrical with the other person. Or if we are truly being neglected, we need to get out so that we can find someone else to have a mutual relationship with.

 

I certainly fell into this trap. And it was an unhealthy place to be.

[fani]

1.One year and 9 months

 

2. In some ways yes and others no

 

3. Not in the slightest

 

4. Said he didn't want to be with me. Got angry because I wouldn't accept it, but never said I was rubbish

 

5. It's only been a few days, but yeah we have, his decision.

 

6. Lol already said he didn't! He wouldn't really talk about it though, just kept saying he didn't want me anymore

 

7.It's only been a few days like I said, so I don't know yet

 

8. If he wanted me back then I would. But I would make sure that he was getting help for his head (he's bipolar)

 

9. He's giving me very mixed signals, I'm hopeing he is

 

10. I'm no way near there yet

[mr.dream merchant]

Dunno how far along I am but I'm pretty good now. I think about my ex from time to time but I've been more focused on myself and other new girls that I'm talking and dating around with. Life is so chill and relaxed now that I just couldn't see myself going back to my ex and the relationship we had. All the worrying, insecurities, stress. I don't want anything to do with that anymore. I smile when I think of all the good times we shared, but that's about it. I just appreciate her for the good times we shared. I don't want her back, I don't hate her, I still have love for her, but I don't want to be with her. So now I'm trying to date three other girls, and I've been doing my own thing. Its cool and sometimes it gets lonely but hey, I just got out of a 13 month relationship that was pretty serious.

 

And that trip to UF was off the chain. Damn. Partied my ass off and I scored big with my cute female friend from back in the day. And it felt so good to be single again. Lots and lots of attention from really beautiful and down to earth girls man. I feel like I'm back. And it feels good. =)