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2 Years of regret...and something GOOD? ...NEED .


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Hello I will try to make this short...but ya know lol =)

 

Ok year: 2001, met a girl who had a reputation, Katie. Ofcourse I was a nerd never really had a serious relationship, she had sex with me and I asked her out - she was 15 and I was 19. So I always worried that she would cheat...alot and she did and seems to have been a compulsive liar- I never really found out she was doing things until later. In 2002 we got an apartment, she got pregnant. In 2003 we had a baby girl. Found out she was sleeping with my brother while I was at work -"I'll never do it again" she calims. In 2004 bought a house. While I worked night shifts all night she would have parties...slept with a guy at this point too. In Nov 2004 I came home early and caught her with a guy. I will tell you I was shocked and this is when I started to believe nothing she said. I kicked her out but felt so lonely and so sad so I asked her to come back...she said "not yet". She screwed around more (which I found out later) and came back. In 2005 she turned 19 and started going to the bars - cheated a few times (never found out till later). In 2005 had another baby . In 2006 I'd watch the kids and let her go to the bars and found out she cheated 3 more times - she denied it up and down. Katie is a slob and can never clean or even cook. I usually do all the cooking and the house is literally disgusting. Finally I broke my leg and was stuck home in early 2007. While she was gone I met this girl online - Rebecca. I told Rebecca everything about my life and she accepted it...she said I could move in with her until I could my bearings. I left Katie which was the headest thig to do...for some reason although shes done all these things to me...I hate making her cry. When I left her she was 3 months pregnant. Rebecca and I fell in love and she was the opposite of Katie faithful, clean, could cook and treated me like gold. She wanted to get married and we even looked at some houses together. I actually remember a point when I said to myself "What the hell did I ever see in Katie"...but now it seems like one of those dreams you cannot put you finger on. Katie is one of those Taurus like bulls...loves to scream and holler and start trouble - so she would always make me feel bad "Im pregnant and alone and youre out living it up" shed say. She'd even go to the hospital once a week and have me go see her because it was "our baby - dont you care?" I was starting to believe it was all an act and probably was. Rebecca didnt like her and Katie didnt like Rebecca.

 

I felt so guilty that I had to let Rebecca go...I felt pushed back with Katie although there is feelings for both...I have no trust for Katie whatsoever but I have 3 kids with her (alteast I hope they are mine). Rebecca was torn over this...me leaving her...but I never told her I went back with Katie I was kind of embarassed about it and I loved Rebecca alot.

 

So anyway Katie was all nice for about a month or two. Then she became someone who loves to start arguments all the time again, never ceans etc...but to my knowledge she hasnt cheated since I left her...she says "She was stupid.

 

After I left Rebecca I always regretted it...every day...I even had an alcoholism period where I couldnt stop crying about it. Rebecca met a guy abut a month later and moved 2 hours away. She was engaged 4-6 months later. Once in awhile she would talk to me and say she loved me more than her husband and he was a rebound...she seemed confused too. It came in spurts though...she'd either say she missed or I had to move on.

 

In February/March 2009 she divorced him and moved 15 hours away.

 

2 days ago after not hearing from her for 3 months from her divorce she emails me and says "Matt...I think we've made a mistake...I still love you....I tried to forget you but I cant if that makes sense." She asks for my cell number and calls me and we talk for 2 hours...it was so good to hear her voice.

 

The next day I called her again but it seemed like she was busy doing something on the computer...maybe Im paranoid about THAT but anyway I say I better let her go...she says no...I say your busy...she says Ill call you back. She says "I love you" and I do too...but she never called me back....

 

So....

1.I am in a weird situation because shes coming home in August to be in a wedding and she wants to meet up with me...and I havent seen her since I broke up with her. I am forced into a corner in a fork in the road...so hard to hurt Katie - I cant stand to see someone cry...and I love Rebecca and I dunno what she wants...I am basically confused about my life...I am 27 now ....

 

Anyway...

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i think you need to figure out the problems in your life. but adding another girl top the mix is double trouble. but this girl who you live with now is, to put it bluntly a ho.i'd have dna done on your kids. good chance they're not all yours. get checked for std's also. can't for the life of me figure out why you put up with her crap! i wonder if her and my ex- wife are sisters.

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hopefulInFuture

While I don't know what is your definition of love (it's hard to understand given the situation) one thing I can tell you that you need to man up. You're so confused that you're hurting everybody around yourself not only Katie. So, you're sacrificing your happiness to Katie who's treated you like dirt?

 

I think that you should first make up your mind and decide what is the best for you. After you have decided whether you want to be with Katie, with Rebecca, or eventually on your own, ACT on it!

 

You're so indecisive that I think you're hurting everybody

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