So i set up a hidden camera in my girlfriends apartment

[generalx]

I guess i wanted to know what she and her friends generally talk about "I KNOW I KNOW WHAT I DID WAS MESSED UP" "LMAOOOO"

we've been dating for almost 3 yrs, we live together so she and her friends were discussing ME. and boy, oh boy, they keep pressuring her "Why are you not getting engaged etc" she's telling them she cannot wait any longer.

 

You know what one of her friends said? "Lets find you someone in Secret and when you're sure of it. DUMP ME" My Girlfriends response was "I really want this relationship to work, but if he doesn't want to get married i want him to leave"...

 

Her friend invited her to a party weekend and told her" Dress up real nice, get your hair done etc we'll take pictures and set up an account for you on a dating website...

 

Here friend said "do it in secret" and when you're sure the new relationship is going to work "then slowly let him go"...her response was "OKAY"........

 

I told her a few times i'm not ready to get married, at least not yet.

 

I'M 37 AND SHES 50 CAN ANYONE OFFER SOME ADVICE? PLEASE

[boogieboy]

good job btw, youre ahead of the game. sounds to me like you dont have a choice. If you dont want to marry her, I dont know how in love with you she is since marriage is more important to her than your companionship. She really wants to go. I say let her go. Dump her now. She might realize she really wants to be with you marriage or not, if you give her a chance to miss you. LEt her go for like a month.

[Art_Critic]

One thing is for sure.. you are not a very trust worthy person to be in a relationship with..

She needs to dump you dude..

 

Why not just tell her that you set up a camera and recorded her private conversation between her and her friends ( illegal.. by the way ).. then let her finish the dumping because you don't sound like a catch to me...

 

Take what you learned from the recording and move on.. It sounds like she is making room for someone else anyhow...

 

so my advice is to just leave...

[Lyssa]

One thing is for sure.. you are not a very trust worthy person to be in a relationship with..

She needs to dump you dude..

 

Why not just tell her that you set up a camera and recorded her private conversation between her and her friends ( illegal.. by the way ).. then let her finish the dumping because you don't sound like a catch to me...

 

Take what you learned from the recording and move on.. It sounds like she is making room for someone else anyhow...

 

so my advice is to just leave...

 

Too true.

 

I find it very creepy that you hid a camera.

[Lake of fire]

"I KNOW I KNOW WHAT I DID WAS MESSED UP" "LMAOOOO"

 

Fraid you'll be the only one laughing here...

 

~ Lake of fire ~

 

 

[TroyNJ]

One thing is for sure.. you are not a very trust worthy person to be in a relationship with..

She needs to dump you dude..

 

Why not just tell her that you set up a camera and recorded her private conversation between her and her friends ( illegal.. by the way ).. then let her finish the dumping because you don't sound like a catch to me...

 

Take what you learned from the recording and move on.. It sounds like she is making room for someone else anyhow...

 

so my advice is to just leave...

 

 

BS, I think he saved himself a lot of hurt. I think he should simply tell her "Have fun with finding a new man on that dating Site" and then end it on the spot.

 

What kind of woman would agree to string a man along until a replacement is found? Dump her ass bro

[carhill]

Another monkey-woman.

 

Girlfriend's female friends, the scourge of male-kind everywhere

[butcher's hook]

This can't be true!!!

 

I find this whole thing disgusting and no wonder her friends are trying to set her up with another guy, you don't sound mentally stable to me. I hope she moves on!

[sally4sara]

I can see why a 50 year old woman who wants to get married might start rethinking how compatible she is with a 37 year old man who still thinks he isn't ready. Not cool to get her beginnings tangled up with her endings though.

Unfortunately, her social circle is full of shady characters!

Not least of which is her BF!

Of all the unsavory people in this woman's life - her BF, the OP, is the most offensive. Only someone who views their partner as less of a person (and as someone less entitled to visual privacy in their own home!) would go so far as to FILM them without their knowledge!

This isn't even a hidden tape recorder situation. He probably has footage of her changing out of her clothes or amorous moments between them. Now that she made a decision that he doesn't approve of, anyone care to wonder what he might do with this film in the name of "justice"?

 

OP, you're way out of line here. If you know she wants to marry and is 50 years old, why are you wasting her time? And if you are so driven to film her girl chat time - why didn't you just drop her if you feel so certain she is hiding something?

 

I smell a troll.

[hopesndreams]

I guess i wanted to know what she and her friends generally talk about "I KNOW I KNOW WHAT I DID WAS MESSED UP" "LMAOOOO"

we've been dating for almost 3 yrs, we live together so she and her friends were discussing ME. and boy, oh boy, they keep pressuring her "Why are you not getting engaged etc" she's telling them she cannot wait any longer.

 

You know what one of her friends said? "Lets find you someone in Secret and when you're sure of it. DUMP ME" My Girlfriends response was "I really want this relationship to work, but if he doesn't want to get married i want him to leave"...

 

Her friend invited her to a party weekend and told her" Dress up real nice, get your hair done etc we'll take pictures and set up an account for you on a dating website...

 

Here friend said "do it in secret" and when you're sure the new relationship is going to work "then slowly let him go"...her response was "OKAY"........

 

I told her a few times i'm not ready to get married, at least not yet.

 

I'M 37 AND SHES 50 CAN ANYONE OFFER SOME ADVICE? PLEASE

 

O dear, are you really 37? How very sad that you did this. It is so not funny.

 

Let her find someone she can trust, you are so not it.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Why is everyone saying he's wrong for planting a camera, yes it was illegal but he see cleaerly now she was deceiving him and her friend is behind it whispering in her ear. I would have went apechit!!!

 

Why is she pressuring you into marriage anyway's, is her biological clock ticking hard or something, she's 50 how many marriages has she been in?

 

Lastly if it's not a troll posting and is real, I think he should leave her because her friend is apparently a manipulator and they are just using you.

 

I dont know why is everyone so appalled he spied on her, he had a hunch and if she wasnt being deceptive and was okay he probably would have shrugged it off but yet again, the man is doing something bad, he's invading her privacy. oohhhh but let the situation be reversed women be cheering her on. Go on girl! give me a break.

[TaraMaiden]

It's immature, it's ridiculous and it's illegal.

 

He's got what he's deserved.

[carhill]

so my advice is to just leave...

 

I would agree with A_C. If she never sat down with you and clearly communicated her desires and the consequences of your choice to remain unmarried, she owns that responsibility. Your OP was unclear on that. Your responsibility was surveillance of she and her girlfriends. Superficially, it's easy to make you out as the bad guy, but women are good at that anyway, regardless of your actions. You could've done nothing, but have suspicions, and you'd still be the bad guy for stringing your GF along. The only thing that might have tipped the balance was if she had cheated on you, but, who knows, maybe that's what you were trying to catch on tape

 

If it is a troll, I rate a B- ..... catchy title but not enough detail to really get meaty.

[sally4sara]

Why is everyone saying he's wrong for planting a camera, yes it was illegal but he see cleaerly now she was deceiving him and her friend is behind it whispering in her ear. I would have went apechit!!!

 

Why is she pressuring you into marriage anyway's, is her biological clock ticking hard or something, she's 50 how many marriages has she been in?

 

Lastly if it's not a troll posting and is real, I think he should leave her because her friend is apparently a manipulator and they are just using you.

 

I dont know why is everyone so appalled he spied on her, he had a hunch and if she wasnt being deceptive and was okay he probably would have shrugged it off but yet again, the man is doing something bad, he's invading her privacy. oohhhh but let the situation be reversed women be cheering her on. Go on girl! give me a break.

 

Once again, it is NOT a gender issue here!

 

It would be just as sickening and weird if the OP was female.

 

Chrome,

 

You are a dude - so effing what?

I am female - whoop a di dooo!

If I was dating you and was so certain you were up to something, why on Earth would that justify my planting a camera in YOUR HOME?

He didn't just eavesdrop, or hack her email, or even plant a sound recording device. He FILMED her! Sooooo creepy!

[Chrome Barracuda]

Once again, it is NOT a gender issue here!

 

It would be just as sickening and weird if the OP was female.

 

Chrome,

 

You are a dude - so effing what?

I am female - whoop a di dooo!

If I was dating you and was so certain you were up to something, why on Earth would that justify my planting a camera in YOUR HOME?

He didn't just eavesdrop, or hack her email, or even plant a sound recording device. He FILMED her! Sooooo creepy!

 

Maybe your right, maybe it's not a gender issue. but check this out, Private investigators bug and trace people all the time to verify suspicions and information. Maybe it's not justified but people that have nothing to hide , hide nothing, maybe he was curious, maybe he thought they was up to something, but clearly he found something that he didnt 'expect. It's not his fault he taped them, it's their fault they was being deceitful from jump street.

 

 

 

So what your saying is it's okay to plant bugs, hack email and passwords or voice activated recording devices. but oh wait a video camera is too far?!?!?

 

WTF? basically they got caught out there, he found out he was being deceived. Hands down. Video doesnt lie. I hope if your ever in the same situation you wont have to video tape your boyfriend if you had supicions.

 

I mean in the end, he's leaving and he's better off. Creepy or not.

[TaraMaiden]

Most PIs are registered and they have to have court/legal clearance or a permit to track and register someone on film or on record.

If they do it, they are generally known to do it, and the evidence is not always admissible, especially if it goes to court.

PIs are one thing.

Some goofball setting up a hidden camera in someone's home is really, really dumb.

He's 35 she's 51.

Good grief, they're both still acting as if they're in high school....

[Chrome Barracuda]

Most PIs are registered and they have to have court/legal clearance or a permit to track and register someone on film or on record.

If they do it, they are generally known to do it, and the evidence is not always admissible, especially if it goes to court.

PIs are one thing.

Some goofball setting up a hidden camera in someone's home is really, really dumb.

He's 35 she's 51.

Good grief, they're both still acting as if they're in high school....

 

Your right, P.I.'s do have licenses to do it.

 

And yes while illegal, what if he set up a video camera in his home?? would it have been dumb then. how he got the information was wrong within itself that I'm not arguing but all in all he was being deceived from jump from a woman who is supposed to know better.

 

So I can't blame him for everything. Now can I?

[sally4sara]

Maybe your right, maybe it's not a gender issue. but check this out, Private investigators bug and trace people all the time to verify suspicions and information. Maybe it's not justified but people that have nothing to hide , hide nothing, maybe he was curious, maybe he thought they was up to something, but clearly he found something that he didnt 'expect. It's not his fault he taped them, it's their fault they was being deceitful from jump street.

 

So what your saying is it's okay to plant bugs, hack email and passwords or voice activated recording devices. but oh wait a video camera is too far?!?!?

 

WTF? basically they got caught out there, he found out he was being deceived. Hands down. Video doesnt lie. I hope if your ever in the same situation you wont have to video tape your boyfriend if you had supicions.

 

I mean in the end, he's leaving and he's better off. Creepy or not.

 

What I'm saying, I've already typed.

I just feel that of all the ways one can invade another person's privacy, video is the most creepy.

 

Think about it this way:

How would he know the exact time and day this conversation was going to take place? How could he had know it would take place at all?

No way he could know without being psychic - at which point he wouldn't need to wonder. So he had to have just left the camera filming whatever there was to film. Don't you agree that a sound recorder would be a little more respectful to her modesty?

Think about everything you do in your home while you go about you business confident that it is indeed, YOUR business. All on film because someone else just had to know your every waking independent movement!

 

And to another point - if the genders were reversed and some female was saying her 50 year old BF wanted to get married while she, at 37, was still not ready, I'd feel just as understanding towards her BF's worries about her being a compatible partner.

[TaraMaiden]

So I can't blame him for everything. Now can I?

 

...That's why I implied they could both do to grow up.....

 

Ain't true love grand....?

 

[sally4sara]

Your right, P.I.'s do have licenses to do it.

 

And yes while illegal, what if he set up a video camera in his home?? would it have been dumb then. how he got the information was wrong within itself that I'm not arguing but all in all he was being deceived from jump from a woman who is supposed to know better.

 

So I can't blame him for everything. Now can I?

 

And go read the OP's opening sentence.....

 

He just wanted to know what her and her friends talk about.

Not "I got the feeling she was cheating" or "she has lied about so much I just had to see if she had changed".

He just had to know every little word spoken in his absence.

 

creepy!

[Chrome Barracuda]

What I'm saying, I've already typed.

I just feel that of all the ways one can invade another person's privacy, video is the most creepy.

 

Think about it this way:

How would he know the exact time and day this conversation was going to take place? How could he had know it would take place at all?

No way he could know without being psychic - at which point he wouldn't need to wonder. So he had to have just left the camera filming whatever there was to film. Don't you agree that a sound recorder would be a little more respectful to her modesty?

Think about everything you do in your home while you go about you business confident that it is indeed, YOUR business. All on film because someone else just had to know your every waking independent movement!

 

And to another point - if the genders were reversed and some female was saying her 50 year old BF wanted to get married while she, at 37, was still not ready, I'd feel just as understanding towards her BF's worries about her

being a compatible partner.

 

Well he went fishing and he got lucky! lol.

 

A video camera beats a sound recorder because video doesn't lie. You can always manipulate sound. While it was wrong to video tape at HER house. Obviously he had his suspicions and he couldn't trust her enough to do what he did. It's like damn if you do, damn if you don't. Would she have ever told him the truth honestly without having to video tape her, I say no!

 

At 37 what woman that hasnt been married dont want to be married? why entertain a relationship if marriage isnt in the books, if your a female. I mean companionship? maybe but IDK, this situation is messed up.

 

If he doesnt marry me I'm gonna start dating someone else behind his back? WTF is that crap? He found out what she was really up to the means of how he went about it was crazy but in the end. Video tape, micro cassete recorder, the truth came out.

[carhill]

Though the title said 'girlfriends apartment', the OP shared that they live together, so it was shared space. He made no mention of it being 'legal', as in his name on the lease.

[Phateless]

If she's 50 and wants marriage and you don't, then bail. Do you want marriage eventually? Just having the conversation with her will buy you some time.

[BUENG1]

I guess i wanted to know what she and her friends generally talk about "I KNOW I KNOW WHAT I DID WAS MESSED UP" "LMAOOOO"

we've been dating for almost 3 yrs, we live together so she and her friends were discussing ME. and boy, oh boy, they keep pressuring her "Why are you not getting engaged etc" she's telling them she cannot wait any longer.

 

You know what one of her friends said? "Lets find you someone in Secret and when you're sure of it. DUMP ME" My Girlfriends response was "I really want this relationship to work, but if he doesn't want to get married i want him to leave"...

 

Her friend invited her to a party weekend and told her" Dress up real nice, get your hair done etc we'll take pictures and set up an account for you on a dating website...

 

Here friend said "do it in secret" and when you're sure the new relationship is going to work "then slowly let him go"...her response was "OKAY"........

 

I told her a few times i'm not ready to get married, at least not yet.

 

I'M 37 AND SHES 50 CAN ANYONE OFFER SOME ADVICE? PLEASE

 

Def dump her, and def don't tell her about the hidden camera, what you did is definitely highly illegal. Probably best to get the camera out of her apartment too. Next time hire a PI.

[happy girl]

This is a matter of distrust on your part and the lack of communication on hers! These are central components to any relationship. You either need to be completely honest with her about the camera and your findings or just end the relationship.