Boyfriend HELP!!!

[Cheerleader]

I need some advice about my boyfriend. He is the best guy in the world to me and we are planning to be married after we both get out of college. But lately he's been acting really wierd. He is really out going and has alot of friends , but some friends he just lets hang all over him. I told him that it bothers me, but he still won't stop. And the other day, he left without even saying a word to me. He tells me that he loves me and he'd be heartbroken if anything ever happened to us, but Do you think I should leave him?

[hassan]

What ever you do dont leave him. With me and my ex , i did not pay any attetion to her and I just chilled out with my freinds more then i chilled with her . I would barely call her but i still loved her though. Then she broke up with me which i regret cuz i never knew what i had untill she left. Maybe if you brake up with him for like 2 DAYS he will recognize that he has to change cuz for a fact i did and i did not get my ex back she has found herself a new b/f. so i suggest that you just break up with him for like 2 days so he can recognize that he cant live with out you . and maybe he will be better the second time. hope everything turns out right.

I need some advice about my boyfriend. He is the best guy in the world to me and we are planning to be married after we both get out of college. But lately he's been acting really wierd. He is really out going and has alot of friends , but some friends he just lets hang all over him. I told him that it bothers me, but he still won't stop. And the other day, he left without even saying a word to me. He tells me that he loves me and he'd be heartbroken if anything ever happened to us, but Do you think I should leave him?

[Tony T]

It is reasonable that your fiance should be allowed to spend time with his friends. However, if you have communicated to him that the situation has gotten out of hand and his conduct is inconsiderate and disrespectful and he has not reacted appropriately, leave him.

 

It is not wrong to expect that your boyfriend should say good-bye before he leaves your place. It is also not unreasonable to expect that if he wants to continue his relationship with you he modifies certain behaviors that you have told him are unacceptable to you.

 

If you stuck around with this guy long term, you would find yourself a very lonely woman. If he hasn't complied with your assertiveness in insisting he moderate his activities with friends and keep them at a reasonable level, you can bet this behavior would not cease, and probably would get worse, upon his marriage to you.

 

I totally disagree with you that he is the best guy in the world, because I don't think the best guy in the world would put his fiance in second or third place. The best guy would at least listen to what bothers you and talk the issue out.

 

And though you are planning to get married when you get out of college, you sound sharp enough to pencil the wedding date out of your calendar and plan a week at the beach with some of your own good friends for that time.

 

Besides, as I have proclaimed in these posts before, I am the best guy in the world and there's not room for two of us. See you at the beach!!!

[D.]

I was once engaged to, and later married to an Adonis of a man!

 

He had his own friends with whom he chilled and I had mine, but we had OUR friends, too. In public and at parties or funtions, the gals would "hand all over him" and make suggestive remarks right in front of me. I never held it against him as he never initiated any of it and always laughted it off. I was even flattered that he was so "wanted" by other women, but that he chose me.

 

But, he NEVER left me anywhere without saying goodbye. That is out and out disrespectful and RUDE! I surely hope you told him this, too.

 

I would calmly and rationally discuss any and all issues with which your have problems regarding your relationship. If he does not respect how you feel and continues his behavior, even though you are supposed to be numreo ono in his life, I would take a break from him and calmly and rationally explain to him your reasons. I would see other men at that time even if it killed me. I would want to see his reaction.

 

If it bothers him so much that he comes back to you wanting to work things out and agreeing to your compromises, then that speaks volumes. If he goes about on his own with his friends and sees others as well, that also tells you enough to fill a book.

 

Again, should other women fall all over him, if he did NOT initate it and tries to make a joke of it rather than egg them on to continue, it is NOT his fault as he has no control over the conduct of these women. But is he putting out signal that it is what he wants? In my case, the answer is NO ... my fiance did nothing to encourage such behavior on behalf of those women ... I was there and saw it all myself so I know. I do NOT know what is the case in your instance.

 

If he is encouraging this behaviour in these women, he is NOT ready to settle down and really needs to sow some more wild oats. I know that is hard to swallow, but you know it is true.

 

My advice is to pay attention, let him have his friends as long as conduct is appropirate and I encourage you to have your own friends as well as just the "our" friends thing.

 

I hope the rest of what I have written will be of help to you in making any kind of rational decision regading your fiance.

 

Best of luck!