gypsi Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Hey everyone So i havent heard from her in a month, the last time that we texted each other she was being a bitch and cold and made it clear i that should stop texting her, so i replied and said that i wont message or call her anymore because its to hard for me to just be friends with her and that i need to get over her and that i wont contact her anymore. She never replied. I stayed true to my word, so 2 days ago she sends me a very friendly text saying "So is it to soon to msg you? hope you are doing gr8 ;-)" Should i reply or just keep ignoring her, i want her back but my i am so scared that she is just sending me a friendly check up on your ex text? I dont want to go down the false hope path again, any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Ignore it. She's just tugging your string to make sure she still has you on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Serena2009 Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 The message said: "So is it to soon to msg you? hope you are doing gr8 ;-)" It sounds to me like one of four things: 1. She may be trying to see if enough time has passed to put you in the friend zone. 2. She may be looking to have her ego stroked. 3. She may be trying to assuage her guilt. 4. What you're really hoping for, she wants to re-establish the relationship. By the words used in the text I'd say the reason is likely 1, 2, or 3 and that reason 4 is highly unlikely. You need to protect yourself and your heart and not build up any false hope. If you really want to tease out what she means you could send a short text saying: "I'm gr ;-)" and see what you get for a response. I say text her this because the meaning is ambiguous and doesn't let her know at all what you're feeling. If you decide to respond the key is to disclose little about how you're doing and what you're feeling and discover more about what she's feeling. Make sure before you text her that it's not going to evoke feelings of longing in you and that you can do it and then just let it go. If she wants you back you will know by how soon she texts and what her text contains. Take care of YOURSELF first. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 My ex did the same shyte, and she will ignore texts that ask about how shes feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted July 2, 2009 Author Share Posted July 2, 2009 sigh...knowing her (she is best friends with all her exes) and always misses goody goody she is most probably checking if we are in the friend zone. I guess i will be rude if i dont reply and she will think im still a loser and childish so i should just send a short reply, i was away for a month should i tell her? Thats the reason that i am replying 2 days later. Link to post Share on other sites
waitingpatiently Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 I really don't think you owe her an explanation about why it took you so long to respond. As far responding to her, I don't think that would be a good idea. It really doesn't sound like she wants to get back together, and if she did, that should have been the first thing she said. Look out for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
bella16 Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Wow Im definately in the same situation. He breaks up with me almost 3 weeks ago, because he thought I was unhappy in the relationship...when I wasn't at all, he just took some things wrong. So I begged, pleaded everything, and he did not answer his phone, wouldn't talk to me. So the last 2 weeks I've gone out every weekend, Kickboxing 3 nights a week, just worrying about me and slowly getting over it. I was fine! Then I get a missed call from him at 2am on saturday!! He's been texting me everyday since then!!! Asking me things like.. "What are you Doing?", "Are you Home?", "Are you thinking of me", "I miss you and I know you miss me." I was laughing my a** off, but I can't be mean to him because I am in love with him and neither of us did anything to hurt one another, I just got emotional over some things bc Im trying to quit smoking, and it is verrrry stressful. Isn't funny how when we, the dumpees start to get over everything and move on with our lives, they come back in contact with us one way or another??? It's like they have this radar..."Ut Oh! Better go get em, because they don't care anymore!" I wouldn't respond to her if I were you. But if you really want a friendship with her then go ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Its not rude of you to ignore her. She is only checking to see if its ok that she dumped you to relieve her guilt. Dont let her get away with it. Also, you dont want to be friends with her, at least not until you fully get over her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted July 2, 2009 Author Share Posted July 2, 2009 i went with the "im gr8 hope you well" reply...wish i read everyones post's sooner its been 2 hours and she hasent replied!!! WTF? Thats it im over this ****, because im still in love with her i am such a weak pathetic whimp. She hasent replied because of one of the following reasons i know her so well: 1. She is pissed off that i replied 2 days later 2. She didnt recieve my text 3. She's sleeping Im going with 1 im over walking on egg shells around her she has no part of my life anymore she just makes me miserable now. Since when does she descide when we can text each other, when we can chat, when we can meet up this is bull****! Wish i never ***ing replied i was in such a good mood today Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 1. She is pissed off that i replied 2 days later 2. She didnt recieve my text 3. She's sleeping You forgot 4. She didn't and doesn't really care at all. She was simply trying to pretend to care, to see if I was still here and have her ego stroked. She's a selfish,greedy bitch! That's the one i"m going to go with. Don't expect a reply from her. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 In future ignore her, that will p**s her off more than anything else! Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted July 2, 2009 Author Share Posted July 2, 2009 well she wont here from me again maybe in a few years but im over this, i fell in love with her not this greedy, selfish emotionless biatch! Dont even know who she is anymore. Anyone thinks she will reply by tommorw? ha ha il keep you guys posted Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 well she wont here from me again maybe in a few years but im over this, i fell in love with her not this greedy, selfish emotionless biatch! Dont even know who she is anymore. Anyone thinks she will reply by tommorw? ha ha il keep you guys posted My guess is she wont try again until next week. But dont reply. She didnt reply to you because she just wanted to see if you would reply to her. in her mind, Reply= you still want her. Once you reply, she got what she wanted, she wont reply back. Link to post Share on other sites
westrock Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 "im gr8 hope you well" What kind of reply are you expecting from those words? IMO, your text doesn't really call for a reply. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Her text was just to see if she could still make you jump when she wanted you to- and sadly, you gave her the gratification she needed. My ex is very much like that. It's been close to 7 months and he still reaches out. He goes through phases when he tells me he misses me, wishes things could be different. It still tugs on my heart strings when he does this. It's all about him you see- he doesn't want to believe I hate him, because that would make him confront his own behaviour about mistreating me. As long as I am friendly and respond to him, he feels eased of his guilt for hurting me. It's selfish behaviour. Your ex is only thinking of herself by contacting you. Don't kick yourself for answering, just don't give her the satisfaction of answering the next time she pulls this. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 My ex sent me texts like "u home?" As if I was supposed to say "yes, come over now!" The last time I ignored my ex, the next week she sent me an email saying "what is your number?" As if I was supposed to say "why did you erase it?" I just typed the number and nuthin else cuz I knew she was pissed. She hasnt texted me since. She finally got the hint. This is what youre in for. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted July 3, 2009 Author Share Posted July 3, 2009 Well its the next day and she has not replied. Its strange to see someone who adored you suddenly not care about you anymore, i hurts so much. I know she felt extremely guilty about the break up she told me, i also believe she is only sent that text to ease her guilt again. Do you guys think i left room for a response with "im doing gr8 hope you well" ?? If she sent me thant i would reply by just saying i am doing very well thanks, take care especially after a month! Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Do you guys think i left room for a response with "im doing gr8 hope you well" ?? If she sent me thant i would reply by just saying i am doing very well thanks, take care especially after a month! I already told you, read this again. She didnt reply to you because she just wanted to see if you would reply to her. in her mind, Reply= you still want her. Once you reply, she got what she wanted, she wont reply back. Link to post Share on other sites
asuman Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I already told you, read this again. She didnt reply to you because she just wanted to see if you would reply to her. in her mind, Reply= you still want her. Once you reply, she got what she wanted, she wont reply back. Bingo. She's throwing you scraps, seeing if you'll accept them. And when you do, her ego feels good and she continues on with her life, without you in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted July 3, 2009 Author Share Posted July 3, 2009 I dont understand why would she be playing these silly games? I wont be doing that to an ex?? If she doesent ***ing care about me anymore then she should not text me at all! Why do people do these things to someone they onced loved its messed up. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 WHO CARES - ?!? More's the point, why do you respond?? The point is, trying to second guess their motives is like whamming your toes with a claw-hammer. No point whatsoever, and self-inflicted pain. A lot of pain. Do not ever, ever ask all the why questions. Do not ever ever communicate or respond. You should never have sent her your number... Now all you're doing is watching your phone.... Block her from both phone and e-mail. Unless you like blackened and bleeding toes, that is........ Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I dont understand why would she be playing these silly games? I wont be doing that to an ex?? If she doesent ***ing care about me anymore then she should not text me at all! Why do people do these things to someone they onced loved its messed up. Because you let her...by answering. It serves her little ego, and it relieves her guilt. Thats all. Now that we gave you all the answers as to why she plays the games, stop replying to her. Shes pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
icepop Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Gypsi: I have read a number of responses to your post. The most interesting responses were yours, however. I am asking this question only because it forms the basis of what YOU want now.All of this is predicated on what your goal is for the relationship now. Do you want her back ? 1/ Since she broke up with you, the power is in your hands. YOU ( gypsi ) decide (s) if you ever want her back in your life. 2/ Her texts mean this. She is trying to suck you in to a trap. She wants to be able to talk to you and have you unwittingly nurse her through your break-up. Don't let her. 3/ You have your own life now. Do not be too available to her. If she contacts you, wait a while to respond. Be brief and definitely don't be anxious. 4/ Stay busy and unavailable. a/ take up a new hobby. b/ go for a run, walk, etc,whatever. c/ do not stalk her. Stay busy. That way when she does call, and you respond at your convenience OR not at all. She'll wonder where you've been and it will have the effect of piquing her curiosity and will raise her attraction level for you. BTW, this is strict no contact. But if she has dumped you, you owe her nothing. She has to make a major reach for you though. Calling, texting, etc is not enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted July 4, 2009 Author Share Posted July 4, 2009 Thanks icepop! I get the message clearly now. Strict no contact will begin from today, and my bloody smashed up toe's will heal lol. I actually read an interesting post yesterday somwhere and it made so much sense to me. It went something like this: When your partner wanted you in the beginning they would phone you, actively pursue you, you knew exactly what they wanted and that was U!!! You didnt run around looking for hidden messages that they wanted you, you knew it cause they made it clear, now why on earth when they leave you, when that is what they want, would they leave some secret hidden code that you have to descifer that they want you back!!? Makes so much sense. Swallowing this bitter reality pill and moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Yeh, but take it with champagne..... It's so much more fun! Live life and enjoy!! That really is the best revenge! Link to post Share on other sites
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