RUNR Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 I broke the trust of the person I'm dating pretty early on by not telling him that I am HSV1 asymptomatic and then having unprotected sex with him. He developed these non painful small whitehead like 3 dots but they went away within a couple days. He was devastated for a couple days when I told him what I thought they were and he was adamant that they weren't herpes lesions, but that it was the reaction to condoms that we used recent to the development of them. I told him that these were very mild symptoms because mine were mild when I initially got it a few years ago and I had started taking a prophylactic meds when I realized we'd be sleeping with each other to ensure that I would not pass anything to him, but there is still a small risk. The virus was probably even more weakened with the use of medication, which made the symptoms even more mild for him. Anyway.... Things seemed to mellow out and he returned to his loving self. But a few days ago, he did raise the concern that he isn't sure he trusts the fact that I'll disclose to him any future issues that might affect him. First, I apologized profusely and told him i never meant to hurt him and was scared at how he'd react. And then I acknowledged that I had broken the most important thing in a relationship and that was Trust...and told him I'd understand if he didn't want to continue seeing me. But he DID continue to see me. I also reassured him that it would just take time to rebuild the trust. He still is unsure, but we still continue to see each other and he remains very loving. I'm confused and scared that he may decide one day that this issue is too great to continue on with the relationship. Basically, I'm falling in love and am afraid to get my heart broken. He pretty much thought this was the perfect relationship, as I did too, prior to the medical condition that I disclosed to him. How long and what can I do to rebuild the trust? Is it even possible? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 Everything is possible. You may want to check into some counseling - but now just be patient. You have to decide if you want to take the risk of having your heart broken. But you can't force trust and it takes as long as it takes, maybe even never. Is he worth the risk? He may be asking himself the same thing about you. You also should talk with him about this too. don't try to pressure him into a decision, but get your relationship on even ground. Discuss it and then each of you, privately and with no influence by the other, decide if the relationship is worth the risks (heartbreak for you and trust issues for him) If he decides that he simply cannot trust you fully then you are better off without him. Link to post Share on other sites
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