Paulie Posted November 3, 2003 Posted November 3, 2003 I met this new girl, and have been out with her three times now. Her father attempted to introduce us last year, but at the time she had a boyfriend. I used to work with her father. It just so happens that I saw her out at a bar a few weeks ago, and she gave me her number. We have gone out a few times, and we've had alot of fun. She just recently moved back home, after moving out from the boyfriend of 4 years a few months ago. I was initially sensitive to the fact that she just got out of a relationship, and also to the fact that I know her father well, and that this might be an issue with her (she might feel weird about hooking up with someone who her father wants her to see). She in no uncertain terms, wanted to clarify that she has no feelings for this guy, and has no issue with the fact that I know her father. She claims that I should "pretend I dont know him when I'm around her. " I'm 27, as is she. I have a very well paying job, and a great deal of stability in my life. I am successful, good-looking, and goal-oriented. She, by comparison, is not a college graduate, works hard at two jobs, and lives at home. She is also 27. What matters is that I find myself falling for this girl, BIG-TIME. The following is an e-mail she sent me the other day: hi Paul! how are ya? thanks for dinner last night-it was really good and i had a good time with you. did you like the movie? i admit that i was scared a little bit but i thought that it was going to be alot scarier! have fun tonight at your wedding rehersal. i'm not sure what i am doing tonight-no plans as of yet but i am sure i will go out for a little bit. if you have a chance write back or give me a call sometime this weekend. love Julie (names changed, of course) I called her yesterday, and she said she was tired. She couldnt talk for long, but would agree to come over to watch a movie on Wednesday night. I havent even made a move yet, as I dont want to come on too strong...I really like her...I've just basically stayed as cool as possible. My problem is that I'm going crazy in love with this girl over this short period of time. Does her e-mail kind of say the same thing?? Or is signing "love julie" just a flirty thing? Is she going to think I'm a prude for not making a move after 3 dates? How can I attempt a move toward more of a serious relationship, while still staying as cool as I have been? Would a girl tell you she was tired if she really, really liked you? I dont care how tired I was...I could talk to her all night no matter what. Please...I'm going crazy.. Paulie
MIKEY Posted November 3, 2003 Posted November 3, 2003 dont think so much and go w/ the flow--if you think to much you will give off a "no confidence vibe"
monkey00 Posted November 3, 2003 Posted November 3, 2003 i agree...go w/the flow dont think too much, it'll ruin the flow if you act differently than usual, just be confident and act like your usual self
Tony T Posted November 3, 2003 Posted November 3, 2003 1. "Does her e-mail kind of say the same thing?? Or is signing "love julie" just a flirty thing?" At this stage, love, Julie is just a salutation. Lots of people put that at the end of notes, letters, message, etc. and it has no particular meaning. I think this girl really likes you but don't read so much in to the way she ended this email. It means nothing one way or the other. 2. "Is she going to think I'm a prude for not making a move after 3 dates?" No, not at all. She'll probably have lots more respect for you. But you should grab her hand or show some sign of interest or she'll just think you're not interested in anything more than friendship and that will be the kiss of death for you with this gal. 3. "How can I attempt a move toward more of a serious relationship, while still staying as cool as I have been?" Just keep taking her out, take walks, do fun things...more than just going for drinks at bars. Do things with her during the days on weekends. That always shows a gal you're really interested in getting to know her and not so much getting into her pants. Being cool is OK but I think you're going to have to start warming up gradually now...take it slow...but make some moves. You must really like this gal to be so shy...wow!!! Congratulations. 4. "Would a girl tell you she was tired if she really, really liked you?" What does being tired have to do with liking you. If the girl is tired, she is tired. Yes, she will tell you she's tired...even if she likes you. She doesn't want to do anything with you...or even have a conversation with you...and let you see her all bummed out tired. You might try to do your best around a gal even though you are exhausted but this girl has a bit more sense than you do...maybe??? 5. "I dont care how tired I was...I could talk to her all night no matter what." Whoa, partner. Don't go so fast. Always leave them wanting more. Always be the first to end the conversation. Let things cook a while before you turn your heart in. Geeze....this is going way, way, way too fast. It sounds great but you could screw a good thing up by playing your hand too fast. Cool you jets and get to know this gal well before you fall so deeply. It sounds like this gal is a lot smarter than you in strategies for winning somebody's heart. She's doing a great job. She knows how to play her cards...and you have forgotten everything I ever taught you. Shame on you! What's gotten into you, bro? It sounds like you a so in love. Congratulations!!! But you'll appreciate the whole thing a lot more if you just take it a bit more slowly and don't fall so hard so fast. Give it some time or her father will kick your ass!!!
Author Paulie Posted November 6, 2003 Author Posted November 6, 2003 I saw her last night, and kinda made a move: I said "you remember how I said I think its the guys job to call the girl?...well I think it's also the guys job to kinda...like go out on a limb, so to speak...so, I figured I'd tell u that I like...like LIKE, LIKE you (she blushed)...and I dont want you to think otherwise just because I havent tried to kiss you or anything yet...so I need to know what you think..I wanna date you, but if we're just friends from your end, I need to know" she said: no I'll date you, but just let it go with the flow, so to speak." I gave her a quick kiss on the lips while dropping her off, and she said to call her. I'm falling in love with this girl, and am torn between being more aggressive or less??? I'm soo confused...how does this girl feel about me??? Should I pull back and go a little cold, and risk losing her, or just do as she says, and go with the flow? Paulie
Zankon Posted November 6, 2003 Posted November 6, 2003 Falling in love after 3 dates??? Come on! I m not trying to be harsh but is this your first time with a girl? Have you always been lonely (rare girls in your life)? Is she very beautiful and you just have a physical crush? I m just saying cuz I don't believe in fast love. The French say: "Whatever starts fast finishes fast"
Recommended Posts