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I am attracted, but how do I handle this, and myself?


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You know, this is liable to be either long and confusing, or short and confusing. I am liable to just start talking in circles. But here it goes.

 

Not long ago, I seen this girl, and I found her attractive. For the past couple of weeks, I have been trying to build my courage, to simply TALK to her. But I seem to get no where. I have only actually talked TO HER, one time. I have had many many chances to talk to her, but I cant do it. Then when I miss one of those chances, I just get way down on my self and I am in a bad mood for a long time. So we get the point that I cant talk to her.

 

Now it is becoming the time, when it is my last chance to talk to her, or I will never have the chance again. This last chance must now involve at least getting a number or even an email. You know what I mean.

 

Recently I have found that she drinks. and parties. I certainly do not. This is a problem. Now that I know she drinks, I feel that, even though I havent talked to her and cant for some reason, why should I try any longer. Personally I dont approve of people who drink and party, because I dont. I am not saying that "Because I dont, You shouldnt" Its just that I dont accept that.

 

Is there any reason for me to continue trying? If I were to somehow talk to her, and get a date, would she respect the fact that I dont drink or party. Ladies? What would you say? I mean, I would consider a date, something where Her and I would go out for dinner and a movie. And that would be cool. But what happens when she goes to a party, and I dont want to go. Or if I were to go, and didnt drink, would that be a problem.

 

I feel that I am in an akward position, because I am very shy, and cant talk to her.. But I want to, but then I find something else to look at and say, I cant handle one who parties... And thats honest.. I dont want to have to deal with someone who drinks.. but I really would like to go on a date with her (well, as soon as I can talk to her).

 

Which brings me to a separate point....

Should I try and talk to her some before I ask for a date, or just simply go up to her and ask her if she would like to go see a movie or something. And then at that time, how would I go about getting a number. The problem with this is, I think it would be a weird feeling for both of us if I were to ask... because of the numerous chances I have had to talk to her, and havent. Because those chances have came when I was standing almost next to her, TRYING to talk her her, but then I cant, so I talk to someone else -- even though i think she has a clue that I am standing there trying to talk to her...

 

 

What do you people think... Can you help me get to the bottom of this? Please?

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I know how you feel, but experience has taught me that the worst she can say is no. Then what happens? you get over it, eventually (trust me you will, but it may take time)... the only things we regret in life are the things we don't do. Go for it, ask her to see a movie, strike up a conversation, then ask her, tell her you've enjoyed talking to her and wondered if she wanted to go. If she says no, just smile, and walk away. Just be pleasent, and conversational, look her in the eye, and don't worry about looking stupid, if she's a nice girl, but doesn't want to go she'll be flattered, and tactful.

 

On the partying and drinking front, i went to university with a friend who didn't drink. Go to the parties, just don't drink, i suspect that by your own admission you don't need to drink to enjoy yourself... you may find that you enjoy attending parties with her.

 

Trust me, i've let too many slip past through not saying anything, and i wish i had talked to them, and asked them out.

 

Go for it, in the end you've nothing to lose....

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I agree with the last post that you have to make yourself march up to her and start a conversation. I think you should say something to her like " I've been wanting to talk to you for a while and haven't had the courgae untill now." maybe it s just me, but when guys say stuff liek that it is really cute.

about the drinking thing....

I like those things too and a guy that looked down on both of those would be a turn off for me. It wouldn't necessarily rule him out for good though.But it sounds like a girl like her isn't really your type. on the other hand , I don't think it will necessarly be a problem. I would ask her out on the date and find out how much into the drinking/party thing she is. good luck

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