Author DESTIE Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 Jilly that may be true but have you ever been involved in litigation? Are you a lawyer? Its not all Boston Legal. The likelihood that this will become a court room drama is very very slim. That is not the object of the exercise. The object of the exercise from MM and his family's point of view is most likely to be to settle the matter with the least public humiliation and expense once paternity is proven. It might get ugly in papers between Destie and the guy and he may threaten things but I would doubt that he would actually try them in court. That is not how the system works. Women dont get less cs because they are "harlots". Its about the child not about Destie. No matter what you may think of Desties conduct once paternity is proven its really a matter of settling on a number. I agree. I highly doubt this turns into a huge dispute over custody. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DESTIE Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 Also keep in mind, we're only hearing half of this entire story. I'm sure if the MM were posting here, we'd find out some other interesting facts that would paint her even more in a negative light. Hmmmmm how interesting, the MM showed up on another post. Go figure!! Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 I don't know Jilly personally, but she doesn't strike me as the kind of person to troll this board. She's been here for a while and you haven't. It could be that you are the one trolling this board and found someone you would like to pen it on. You are the unestablished poster, not Jilly. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 I don't know Jilly personally, but she doesn't strike me as the kind of person to troll this board. She's been here for a while and you haven't. It could be that you are the one trolling this board and found someone you would like to pen it on. You are the unestablished poster, not Jilly. I don't think Jilly would stoop that low, in fact she doesn't come across as someone that would have the time to register a new username and actually start a thread like the other one. Way too much work and what would she accomplished by doing so? This is too funny, even for me. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 I don't think Jilly would stoop that low, in fact she doesn't come across as someone that would have the time to register a new username and actually start a thread like the other one. Way too much work and what would she accomplished by doing so? This is too funny, even for me. Exactly. I'm not saying the other thread couldn't be a troll, but to blame Jilly? The OP really picked the wrong target for this. Anyone could do so. And I hope she doesn't claim its me next. I certainly don't have the time or patience for trolling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DESTIE Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 Exactly. I'm not saying the other thread couldn't be a troll, but to blame Jilly? The OP really picked the wrong target for this. Anyone could do so. And I hope she doesn't claim its me next. I certainly don't have the time or patience for trolling. I don't know her. Just pointing out that someone had said what if... and now there is a post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DESTIE Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 I don't know Jilly personally, but she doesn't strike me as the kind of person to troll this board. She's been here for a while and you haven't. It could be that you are the one trolling this board and found someone you would like to pen it on. You are the unestablished poster, not Jilly. I didn't say it was Jilly just pointed out that there was a new post after she had commented what if.... Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 I didn't say it was Jilly just pointed out that there was a new post after she had commented what if.... Yeah but quoting her and then commenting on her quote did not help either. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Yeah but quoting her and then commenting on her quote did not help either. Yes, the insinuating that Jilly had anything to do with it was/is the problem. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Interesting that Desti - someone NEW to this board is questioning an established member -- a member who is not falling for the "poor me" attitude. Destie said Yes, I was having an A with a married man. Yet he persued me. As I have said before I have some of our emails from the beginning where he came after me for months and got no where. I have not threatened him at all. I told him of my wishes, to have him in her life. He said no. I asked if he would help support, his response was I chose to have her. Nothing else has been mentioned, not even the thought of going to his wife. So see he has not been threatened at all. I told him I am done with what his role will be in her life and I will never revisit the topic again. All the posters have made this about me threatening this poor innocent MM. Came after you? Huh? Explain please... And I guess you don't know the phrase "No thank you - not interested". You have stated a couple times about telling the wife First Post Do I reach out to the wife and tell her about the baby? I don't want to ruin his home but I refuse to be a single mother w/ no financial help. Post #114 I should let her know now. My question is how do I tell her... an email, letter, face to face? I originally was going to give him a time frame. Tell him that he had until 2 weeks from after I left our job to tell her and if he hasn't I would go to her. Post #149 How would they like the situation to be handled. Post #156 I thought of writing a letter, but like you said it will have to be once I am gone. So when did the affair end? yesterday? You are pregnant. You are going to have the child. When the child is born, have a paternity test and have a lawyer serve him with a c/s order. It really isn't that hard. Seems like you like the drama of back and forth with him; and I still think you are hoping he will "pick you". Link to post Share on other sites
butcher's hook Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Also keep in mind, we're only hearing half of this entire story. I'm sure if the MM were posting here, we'd find out some other interesting facts that would paint her even more in a negative light. Honestly, who gives a crap about the other half. You think this woman doesn't have a leg to stand on, exactly how many legs does a man who went outside his marriage and impregnated another woman with his baby, have to stand on? It's funny how suddenly there is interest in what the other half of the equation would say in this situation. I don't see people questioning the other half of the equation in any other situation on this board other than here. The man is an adult who should have protected his dick if he wanted to screw outside of his marriage, he didn't now here are the consequences. Words are cheap, actions speak for themselves. He had a lot more to lose in all this than the OP. CLEARLY. Link to post Share on other sites
whimsical_memory Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Honestly the whole thing smacks of being a fabrication. Both this thread, and the other thread concerning the MM seems to be merely for the sole benefit of being an amusement to the OPs. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 "I told him I would do it alone and he could walk away no strings attached" Now you are changing the rules severely to: "I refuse to be a single mother w/ no financial help. He played as much a role in this as me how should he be able to walk away and not suffer any consequences." I won't even get into the whole affair thing, because it's irrevelant to the fact that you have gone back on your original agreement. Maybe you can explain the drastic 180 reversal of terms and also if you can understand him being pissed at you doing so. It's because she was lying the first time and hoped he would volunteer. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Honestly the whole thing smacks of being a fabrication. Both this thread, and the other thread concerning the MM seems to be merely for the sole benefit of being an amusement to the OPs. I am leaning to this persuasion as well. There have been several 'help, I'm pregnant by a MM' threads started by trolls over the years in this forum. This wouldn't be an exception. At least this time the OP didn't claim to be pregnant by one of the ten richest people in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 I am leaning to this persuasion as well. There have been several 'help, I'm pregnant by a MM' threads started by trolls over the years in this forum. This wouldn't be an exception. At least this time the OP didn't claim to be pregnant by one of the ten richest people in the world. Me thinks she is fully of mullarky also. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 I am leaning to this persuasion as well. There have been several 'help, I'm pregnant by a MM' threads started by trolls over the years in this forum. This wouldn't be an exception. At least this time the OP didn't claim to be pregnant by one of the ten richest people in the world. LOL! I remember that thread! Yes, I always felt that this was a phony thread from the get-go. But, it was fun to indulge the fantasy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DESTIE Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 Honestly the whole thing smacks of being a fabrication. Both this thread, and the other thread concerning the MM seems to be merely for the sole benefit of being an amusement to the OPs. I wish it was but unfortunately this is my life right now. That being said I would like to thank all of the people that gave me insightful advice whether I agreed with it or not. I will take it all into consideration. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Hmmmmm how interesting, the MM showed up on another post. Go figure!! ...she doesn't come across as someone that would have the time to register a new username and actually start a thread like the other one. I'm not saying the other thread couldn't be a troll.... I don't know her. Just pointing out that someone had said what if... and now there is a post. Where is this mysterious "other thread/post" from the MM? Am I missing something here? Maybe I'm dense, but I can't find anything relating... Link to post Share on other sites
Author DESTIE Posted July 6, 2009 Author Share Posted July 6, 2009 Where is this mysterious "other thread/post" from the MM? Am I missing something here? Maybe I'm dense, but I can't find anything relating... I believe it has been deleted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DESTIE Posted July 6, 2009 Author Share Posted July 6, 2009 Honestly, who gives a crap about the other half. You think this woman doesn't have a leg to stand on, exactly how many legs does a man who went outside his marriage and impregnated another woman with his baby, have to stand on? It's funny how suddenly there is interest in what the other half of the equation would say in this situation. I don't see people questioning the other half of the equation in any other situation on this board other than here. The man is an adult who should have protected his dick if he wanted to screw outside of his marriage, he didn't now here are the consequences. Words are cheap, actions speak for themselves. He had a lot more to lose in all this than the OP. CLEARLY. It's seems I struck a cord with many of the posters on this board. It was a chance for them to attack me, I expected it b/c I was wrong for the role I played in this but I didn't think it would be on MM's behalf. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 If your (ex)MM DID actually post here for real, I'm sure the tides would turn against him and make sure he knew that what he's done is totally wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 It's seems I struck a cord with many of the posters on this board. It was a chance for them to attack me, I expected it b/c I was wrong for the role I played in this but I didn't think it would be on MM's behalf. Don't fool yourself or attempt to distract the discussion: you've both acted irresponsibly toward the people around you, and now toward your unborn child. I have no sympathy toward the father of your new child, nor will I speak on his "behalf." But I still take you to task for agreeing to let him walk with no strings attached. If you were adult enough to have sex, and adult enough to make the decision to keep the child, then you were adult enough to have a clue about what that meant when you agreed to it. Sorry, but "my hormones were raging" is no more an excuse for that irresponsibility than it is for either of you having sex and getting pregnant. You have to deal with the consequences of your actions, even stupid ones. Look, is there anything really at issue here? You're right, this isn't going to be an exciting Perry Mason/Boston Legal courtroom fight. Support for the child isn't going to hinge upon (and probably not even bring into consideration) issues of character, who saved what Emails, who is retailating against whom, who is right and who is wrong, etc. It will be a fairly dry process of finding the facts: Is the child his (DNA test, no drama there) and then based on an accounting of financial resources and needs, what will he be ordered to pay you to contribute his part of the child's support requirements. No he-said, she-said. No punishment for being a bad girl or guy. No kindly judge taking one side or the other... Buckle down. You know he doesn't want to be involved, and you said he could "walk away." (Although I'm starting to agree with the idea that this was a lie to test him, and since he failed, now you want to punish him... Again, no sympathy for him for f***ing around when he was married.) I'm still not sure what you're looking for - you go back and forth between saying that you want him to support his child, but you don't want his money, and he can walk... Have a healthy pregnancy, have the child, have a DNA test, file for support and let it wind its way through the system. What other drama are you seeking out at this point? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Trimmer, your points are well thought out and valid. Geesh! No wonder men don't want to get married if you can't trust a promise made what's the point. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I believe it has been deleted. Just curious: did anybody else see it? Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Just curious: did anybody else see it? I didn't. But more importantly, what would cause it to be deleted? Link to post Share on other sites
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