gypsi Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Well i did something tonight i should never have done i went thru my emails to clean my inbox and stumbled across all the emails my ex sent...im crying like a baby now, we were so happy and in love! Cant believe the beautiful things she emailed me, i want her back with all my heart. Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Yep, I've done it, and deleted over two hundred of them right after. OK, you read them, and you're crying. That's the last time you get to read them. DELETE. Link to post Share on other sites
Cora Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I am guilty of this. I eventually had to delete everything my ex ever sent me. You want her back so much because it's all fresh in your mind from reading the emails. Things are different now and her feelings were different for you then when she wrote you those emails. The best advice I can give you is to delete the emails if you haven't already. No need to keep things that will only bring you more heartache and pain everytime you see them. It's best to remember how things are NOW and not how they WERE. Stay strong! I know how hard it can be. Link to post Share on other sites
Ingenue Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 In the initial stages post-break-up, I would reread the emails and chats that I had with my ex. After awhile, I stopped reading them because they were counterproductive to my healing. I would cry and relive the break-up over and over again (partly because he did break-up with me over email). In time, I deleted everything from my account. Five years worth of emails meant deleting over 1000+ emails. Gone were the digital pictures, the texts and anything else that could remind me of him. It was the best decision I could have ever made. I don't regret it and any memories that I may want to conjure of happier times with my ex are in my memory. Good luck. It does get easier. You just need to remove the temptation and the reminders of your ex Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted July 3, 2009 Author Share Posted July 3, 2009 Wow life is cruel. I cant get myself to delete them...its kind off if i delete them it would be like she never existed even tho i know that would be beneficial for my healing process...but when we were together i was seriously the happiest i have ever been in my life (sad but true). So they are still there i just wont read them again, felt like i was punched in the heart. Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Gypsi, you have to delete them, or you will not move on. You asked for advice. We all said delete. End o story. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer Dude Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 F*ck man, just delete them. They're just text, your experience of dating her has already changed you and it will never go away. I've evolved a long way, but back in my dark ages of dating (or lack thereof), I was pining for my ex for months, because she was my only source of self esteem and validation, just like you are now. I didn't delete pics and vids tho, because I like to have something from every chick I laid. See the paradigm shift? From a perfect little angel who was my world to just some chick I was laying at some point. You'll get there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted July 4, 2009 Author Share Posted July 4, 2009 All deleted!! Link to post Share on other sites
Cora Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 See, you are much stronger than you thought! How do you feel? I know it must have hurt a great deal but once they were all deleted didn't you feel a sense of relief? From here on out it will get easier one day at a time. You should be proud of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
jlr Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 I still have my ex's emails, and I shouldn't. I get tempted to look at them, and it messes me up. The other night I also stumbled across the box of greeting cards/letters she'd written me, and I fell apart. I cried for the rest of the night. Reminders suck. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Still have them all and haven't looked at them in a month or so. They no longer affect me because the person/feelings that wrote them is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 yeah all lies deleted them a long time ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 i feel sad...removing her from my life sux. Went out partying last night to make me feel better, had fun but then once i got home i realised how lonely i am and that she's not waiting in bed for me, and then today i just hit a REAL downer again with a pounding head. Link to post Share on other sites
moo Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 When my ex dumped me in the cruel way that he did, I tore up all of his pictures and destroyed every single email he sent me or I sent him...every last one. I'm, glad I did. Link to post Share on other sites
now_what Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Yeah, I've read them before and it is pretty sad; I can see the steady decline in our relationship before he left. And then there is the pathetic email telling me that he had left - didn't have the nerve to tell me to my face after 30 years. Then there is the email where he informed me he was living with someone else and that he had cheated on me before he left. And of course the 4 or so months of emails when he was afraid to speak to me and hid behind email. Every so often I go in and take a peek and then delete some. They will all be gone soon- going, going, gone, just like you disappeared from my life and pretty much your children's lives - you barely have time for them anymore - it's poker run season. Link to post Share on other sites
Crow9726 Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Unfortunately I am weak...have deleted nothing...thrown very little away. It will be a year in 1 month and 3 days since she left. What really sux is that there is no quality to my life right now. Financially (income less than half of what I usually make for over a year now)...health wise (previous triple bypass...now sciatica from a bulging disk that won't respond to treatment...not to mention dental issues from various meds over the years)...emotionally (I miss her...or at least the thought of her...and have nobody in my life except for my grown children who actually gives a shyt about me at the moment)...mentally (tired and drained with no light at the end of the tunnel promising to alleviate any of my pain...financially or physically or emotionally). I am not in a good place at all. Sometimes...when my depression hits almost rock bottom...I will go back and read something or remember something that made me happy at the time...though it no longer applies to this time and place. Then it has the adverse effect of reminding me just how bad it is in my life right now, Getting up in the mornings is now a chore...what's the use of it? For another day of this? Link to post Share on other sites
now_what Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Hi Crow9726, I can really feel your pain through your post. Try to find just a glimmer of hope to pull you through the darkness. Some days I know just how you feel though, this whole divorce business really sucks and you just get so tired emotionally and physically, everything seems to be a chore. Have you talked to a counselor? It does help. I will be thinking of you and hoping you feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
nastyapple Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I still have all of the emails my ex sent me. We have only been apart a few days and I've already read back over them, and like you, cried like a baby. I can't bring myself to delete them. I was with a guy a while back, we were together 4 years and I deleted all his emails. I found out he'd kept all of my letters, all of the presents and all of the pictures. He just boxed them up and put them in his loft. I felt awful that I'd deleted them, because we got back together a few months down the line. I still have a couple that he sent me after we got back together, and I read those when we broke up for good, and they had the same negative effect. I think when you're still 'grieving' it's not a good thing to keep reading them, and I have to keep telling myself this about the guy I've just broken up with. I feel an urge to read them, look at pictures and check his facebook, but I'm fighting my hardest not to. It'll only make me feel sick/be sick, and end up in a heap crying again. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I deleted all his emails the day he dumped me so I would never be tempted to do such a thing. Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 All deleted!! Good work! That is an important step. Link to post Share on other sites
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