Custody-Won Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 On the other hand, what would her motivation be for changing this? Currently she is getting the best of both worlds, not being accountable to anyone and at the same time she's able to see me if she wants to, on her schedule, and mostly on her terms. I have been allowing this to happen. (see 1 below) I am so angry about this whole thing. This is not how a marriage is supposed to work. (see 2) I don't think she has actually physically cheated on me, but there's no way I can be sure. (see 3) 1) She has no motivation for changing this, She is already stripping the home, and face up to this you agreed to let her take those items by not even protesting. See Lawyer for more info on this. 2) Correct a marriage does not work like this.................When r u going to realize you are not in a marriage anymore. 3) You don't think she is cheating you?????????????????? Yes you do Anyway with that said the bottom line is you have to learn on your own pace. All the advice you have gotten her is not only GOOD but more then likley right on the money. But you keep rejecting it. I will tell you this much You and her will never be back togeather again. The question is how long are you going to let her use you? One day you will close the door on her, and remember this, once you do you are that much closer to finding your true Lover. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 My wife didn't want to tell anybody either we seperated. She wanted to pretend all was peachy keen. She didn't want to have to answer all the questions. She was cheating on me. She wanted time to make sure OM was going to take my place before doing anything. She used to work for my company, she has A LOT of old friends here. Even know after we have seen the lawyers her friends ask how she is. HUH? They don't know we are getting a divorce let alone we are seperated. Wouldn't you think she'd tell her friends about these significant life changes? Nope. Because she doesn't want her friends to be disgusted with her for not only being a POS, but for crapping on me. Someone they knew & worked with for at least 5 yrs before they met her. Talk to a lawyer. Change your freaking locks & stop living like a college student in an empty house sitting on lawn furniture in your living room (ok, I don't know if that's happeneing but i've seen it happen & I was going for dramtic affect) My wife's major problem was I wasn't going to give her the months & months & months she thought she needed to lock her claws into OM. She knew this so she kept my swimsuit area very happy. Too bad she severly underestimated my intelligence & attention to detail which boggles my mind because I always noticed the little things when it came to her. She would go out with "friends" & she couldn't keep her lies about who she was with straight from when she was going out to when she got home. Tell her you are tired of this limbo. Tell her you want the ring back. Tell her she can have it back when she moves back into the home & starts acting like your wife. Then tell her you will not be attending any more family functions with her until she starts acting like you are married again. Then tell her you are going to let her family know this for her because she obviously can't bring herself to do it. You cannot even imagine the hugeness of the favor she did you by moving out. I accused my wife of cheating twice & tried to make her leave & she wouldn't go. One time she said she was leaving, I should of let her. I called her dad because she was irrationally emotional & she stayed. She was cracking under the pressure of the affair. she left of her own accord when I caught her e-mailing porno movies & pic of herself to her "just a friend" Dude, your setting youself up for an emotional ass kicking if you keep doing what your doing. I thought everyone here was wrong also. I WAS WRONG They know what their talking about. They have been there. Link to post Share on other sites
Custody-Won Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I wonder what happen to this guy anyone have any idear??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author man_of_ability Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 I gave up trying to win her back as many of you suggested. I have moved on with my life. I actually got fed up of being jerked around by her, and having everything on her terms and told her I was finished completely. The dissolution was granted very quickly and I'm dating now. It was a difficult process in getting to that point mentally where I could let go but now I'm glad to have it behind me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author man_of_ability Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 Thanks again for everyone's support and advice. I stopped posting and reading these forums for a while because I had to get my mind off of this and focused on something else. Link to post Share on other sites
bestplayer Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Thanks again for everyone's support and advice. I stopped posting and reading these forums for a while because I had to get my mind off of this and focused on something else. best of luck , i hope now she knows that u were pretty aware of her games & selfishness ? Link to post Share on other sites
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