4th of July Rant

[bluewolf17]

Let me preface this by saying: the 4th of July is my FAVORITE HOLIDAY. It always has been. Summertime, Fireworks, BBQ's, drinks, friends, family, and best of all, you don't have to buy anyone a gift Plus I find fireworks romantic. So of course, I'm a little upset. BUT tommorow my roomates and I are throwing a huge 4th of July party, so I won't be lonely.

 

Anyhow, My ex Tb is coming. We have been broken up form a 3.5 year relationship since March. Its been rocky, at best. I would like to try again..and he has said that he thinks there is still a good chance for us, but he wants to take it slow (I broke up with him, then begged him back, he didn't want to get back together). Anyhow, we have been taking it slow. We haven't been physical at all since we split, and neither of us is dating anyone, and we didn't break up due to anyone else.

 

We see eachother at least everyweek, and talk on the phone etc. I brough up the "talk" once to gage where we were at, and he told me that he wants to "wait and see". It's been hard, as I really love him, and he's moving soo slow. We actually whatched a movie last night, and then we went out with all of his friends, then went back to his place and hung out till 4am talking. We have really great times together, and we are flirtatious, and laugh a lot. He's sweet and caring with me, but it gets to met that he hasn't even tried to kiss me or reach for my hand.

 

Today I sent him a text asking if he wanted to get out and enjoy the nice weather. I txted back that he had a great time with me last night, but he's with the guys today.

He is coming to my party tommorow and I can't wait to see him. Any advice on being more patient? I just want things fixed, and it seems we just are moving on his time. I am being patient, fun, sweet, everything you should be. I have not brought up the relationship since we have had the talk, and when he does, I just let him guide it. Its usually just joking around about us, or telling me all the sweet things he remembers.

 

Anyhow, I am just really trying to be patient. Its hard not to want to see him, more than he is giving me.

[D-Lish]

The best advice is to remain patient and stop putting any pressure on him.

 

Since you broke up with him, it's safe to say he is playing it careful. I think he probably recognized through the break up that he is vulnerable, and that's a hard emotion to reconcile with. Once you feel it, it's not something you anxiously look forward to jumping back into to.

 

Don't talk about it, just be cool and let him work through this on his own timeline.

 

Pressure is your enemy- patience is your friend.

 

If you guys share a nice night or intimate moment... just enjoy it.

 

He needs to be the one to initiate "the talk", not you.

Good luck!

[Exit]

You call this a rant? My ex is long gone. At the very least she'll be celebrating all weekend with family, or with friends, or worse, a new guy. I'll be stuck in the house all weekend listening to the fireworks outside. Yayyyyy.

 

Sorry but I'd give anything for a "slow moving" reconciliation right now.

 

Do not push him. Let him go at his own speed or maybe he won't come back at all. But on the other hand, how long are you going to wait? Neither of you are seeing anyone else right now. Why can't he just give you a chance? That's really up to you if you're ever going to get to the point when you say "now or never".

[D-Lish]

You call this a rant? My ex is long gone. At the very least she'll be celebrating all weekend with family, or with friends, or worse, a new guy. I'll be stuck in the house all weekend listening to the fireworks outside. Yayyyyy.

 

Sorry but I'd give anything for a "slow moving" reconciliation right now.

 

Do not push him. Let him go at his own speed or maybe he won't come back at all. But on the other hand, how long are you going to wait? Neither of you are seeing anyone else right now. Why can't he just give you a chance? That's really up to you if you're ever going to get to the point when you say "now or never".

 

Whoa... Sorry, didn't realize that no one else has a right to feel upset about anything besides YOU.

Seriously, this post is about her and what she is going through.

[whichwayisup]

I think since you were the one who broke up and then begged for you two get back together and now he isn't sure of what he wants, you need to let him call the shots completely.

 

Focus on just having a good time with all your friends and if he spends time with you, enjoy it as it happens. Let him approach you and make moves (hold your hand etc) on you. Hoping and expecting him to do so is only going to frustrate you more.

 

You two eventually need to talk about where things are heading, being indecisive and not knowing if you're going to be a couple again isn't fair to either of you. Though it seems to me he probably was real hurt that you broke up with him and he could have insecurities, trust issues with you that he isn't ready to talk about - Hense taking it really slow..

[PinkToes]

I did what you're doing and I got screwed, so I'll admit I'm a bit jaded. But I would encourage you to keep close tabs on the balance between what you want and what you're getting, so you don't let it drag on too long if it isn't working for you.

 

Being patient and pretending all is well when it really isn't is a risk, and only you can decide whether it's worth it to stick around and play by his rules for any length of time. Good luck!