Stung Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Crookedsoul, I have just read your thread and my heart is heavy for you. I must agree with posters above: at this point, you have begun playing the role of martyr in your 'marriage'. Please don't embrace this role for yourself, and don't cower before your husband's intimidation and manipulations. Seek top-notch legal advice, and inform yourself of all of your options. Consider seeking IC, as well. Make yourself strong for your daughter, and look to your freedom. Your EA was a mistake and it is laudable that you regret your actions, but if 1/2 of what you have posted is an accurate reflection of the truth, your husband is a monster. Link to post Share on other sites
redtail Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Crookedsoul, my heart is heavy for you too. One of the hardest things for me to do when I found out about my (ex) wife's affair was realizing she was not the person I thought she was. I wanted to stay married. She too tried to make me the villian, that the affair was my fault, and I felt the guilt, shame and failure of what it meant to say "divorce". But I received good advise, I had a support group and family to see things as they were. And the best advise I received is, deal with it quick and decisively. Do this, for you, for your daughter. We will be here for you, best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author crookedsoul Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 My father and brothers, housekeeper's husband and my brother-in law graciously helped my husband with his move into our apartment in town today ( ha!) My daughter is here in the house with me, my lovely nanny and housekeeper (who rushed back as soon as husband was out, thank you so much, J) and everything looks much brighter now. I was beginning to wallow in self-pity as so many of you good people suggested, and that will do no-one any good, so - no more! I will get a divorce, I will keep my daughter and my soon to be former husband can do as he pleases. My friend from work is going to take care of our new surgery, communication will be through our secretaries only. After I am divorced and custody of my daughter is secure, we shall see, but until then, there is nothing for us to say to one another. I rather suspect that most of what he felt for me was pity, anyway, so it is best this way, for all concerned. Thanks again, all of you. I am grateful to all of you who took the time to respond with so much wisdom. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRise Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 My father and brothers, housekeeper's husband and my brother-in law graciously helped my husband with his move into our apartment in town today ( ha!) My daughter is here in the house with me, my lovely nanny and housekeeper (who rushed back as soon as husband was out, thank you so much, J) and everything looks much brighter now. I was beginning to wallow in self-pity as so many of you good people suggested, and that will do no-one any good, so - no more! I will get a divorce, I will keep my daughter and my soon to be former husband can do as he pleases. My friend from work is going to take care of our new surgery, communication will be through our secretaries only. After I am divorced and custody of my daughter is secure, we shall see, but until then, there is nothing for us to say to one another. I rather suspect that most of what he felt for me was pity, anyway, so it is best this way, for all concerned. Thanks again, all of you. I am grateful to all of you who took the time to respond with so much wisdom. Crookedsoul Good for you. I am glad that you are no longer wallowing and that you are getting rid of this toxic husband. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
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