WARREN86 Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 "We are here today to remember Allison, a young woman whose tragic loss will forever touch those of us in this room. I have known Allie for over 25 years, she was my best friend and will always be remembered as the bright girl, so full of life and energy that it was impossible to see her and not smile. A spirit that existed solely to bring happiness and care to those around her, friends, family, and strangers alike. She was a generous and selfless person whose first thought was rarely of herself. As there are several people who would like to speak tonight, I would like to relate just this one story which just recently happened after her passing. It is truly tragic and senseless how she came to leave us. Yet not meaningless. As some of you know, I am going through a divorce and one of my outlets for support has been a fantastic online forum, Loveshack.org. On this forum i had the occasion to meet a woman I only know as Vangel2. I have never met her, never seen her, or know where she lives. All I know is her story. Unfortunately Vangel and Allison share a lot of common traits in their marriages, far too many for anyone to bear. She was on the forum looking for advice to save her marriage. As her story unfolded, she admitted that her husband was quite abusive and she held a lot of fear for her safety and that of her five year old daughter. Upon hearing this I related Allisons story to her and urged her to escape this situation. She did, and it taking steps to move on and to act in her own best interests and in those of her daughter. She has sought out support and guidance and I truly believe that this is directly in response to Allies story. It is of great comfort to me and hopefully to you all, that something positive could come from this tragedy, that Vangel could be inspired to choose a different path, and that all who read her and Allies story may do the same, this in the end i believe is how Allison would like to have been remembered. I urge all of you who are willing to keep Vangel in thier prayers and to ask Allie to watch over her and her daughter." Wow. Your friend was definitely smiling you on that day you made that speech for her. You're a great example of a true friend & you are definitely one for Vangel2. I read up on your post, man, & I think your wife is blind to not notice the kind of man you are. Sometimes, selfish ppl takes the good ones for granted. She'll realize that later down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Thank you Warren, I try to be one of the good ones, but there have been a lot of times I have missed the mark. I would hope that is how my wife will remember me someday, but i am surely not innocent. Thanks for the kind words. Vangel, haven't heard from you in a couple of days, I hope you are doing well. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author vangel2 Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 Wow. Your friend was definitely smiling you on that day you made that speech for her. You're a great example of a true friend & you are definitely one for Vangel2. I read up on your post, man, & I think your wife is blind to not notice the kind of man you are. Sometimes, selfish ppl takes the good ones for granted. She'll realize that later down the road. YES. I totally agree~ Tojaz, you became more of a friend to me than anyone I have ever got to known in person. I totally agree that selfishness is one of the reasons ppl miss out on the great ppl in life, & one day someone is going to acknowledge the greatness of your heart & that will be the person who totally deserves you! Warren, you're a true sweetie! I read all of your forums & I think it's great that you have such a positive attitude. How are things going along with the love of your life? Link to post Share on other sites
Author vangel2 Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 Vangel, haven't heard from you in a couple of days, I hope you are doing well. TOJAZ Tojaz, I am doing great. Some days are hard bc I do miss him, but I realize everyday more is that I miss what we had. Sometimes, it's tempting, bc he calls and leave messages telling me that he's going to change & that he was sorry...but I heard it all b4. It just hurts really bad, bc I gave a lot of myself to him & it just feels like a waste. How are things with you? As soon as I get more time, I will definitely email you. Hope things are well so far. Let me know! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 If his @zz was SORRY! He would have moved mountains and not done it in the first place ~ to begin with! This SORRY business? Just doesn't cut it with me! SORRY? You damned right your sorry! Sorry as HELL! You get one chance with me ~ and that's it! Life is short, and too damn short to live it being 'stupid' There's a difference between 'ignorant' and stupid! Ignorant is when you just don't know any better! Stupid is when you know better, but your dumb @zz goes ahead and does it anyway! I can forgive ignorance! I can't forgive stupid! I won't! I won't be cheated, lied to, nor laid a hand upon! I don't do these things to others people! I won't have them done upto me! Nor will I stand by and see them done unto others! Link to post Share on other sites
WARREN86 Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Tojaz, I am doing great. Some days are hard bc I do miss him, but I realize everyday more is that I miss what we had. Sometimes, it's tempting, bc he calls and leave messages telling me that he's going to change & that he was sorry...but I heard it all b4. It just hurts really bad, bc I gave a lot of myself to him & it just feels like a waste. How are things with you? As soon as I get more time, I will definitely email you. Hope things are well so far. Let me know! I'm very proud of how you're not giving into temptation. Pretty soon, he's going to take the hint & hopefully leave you & your daughter alone. He needs to get help first before he gets a chance to getting back into his daughter's life. He is a dangerous hazard that needs to be dealt with & the kind of help he needs is going to take a long while. When ppl say that they pretty much feel like life just went down the drain after things don't work out, I always tell everyone to see it as a time of preparation for your next relationship. Things don't alway happen the way you want it to but that's part of life & your marriage just happens to be just that. As long as you are moving forward, things should be much better with you & your daughter. Keep keeping us posted! Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 YES. I totally agree~ Tojaz, you became more of a friend to me than anyone I have ever got to known in person. I totally agree that selfishness is one of the reasons ppl miss out on the great ppl in life, & one day someone is going to acknowledge the greatness of your heart & that will be the person who totally deserves you! That right there, means more to me then you will ever know and is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. Thank you! Warren, you're a true sweetie! I read all of your forums & I think it's great that you have such a positive attitude. How are things going along with the love of your life? Tojaz, I am doing great. Some days are hard bc I do miss him, but I realize everyday more is that I miss what we had. Sometimes, it's tempting, bc he calls and leave messages telling me that he's going to change & that he was sorry...but I heard it all b4. It just hurts really bad, bc I gave a lot of myself to him & it just feels like a waste. How are things with you? As soon as I get more time, I will definitely email you. Hope things are well so far. Let me know! I am glad to hear that you are doing well. Don't think of it as a waste. You loved him and you did that for the right reasons I'm sure. When things became bad, you tried to save it, hoped he could change and endured more then any woman should have to. You gave it your all and he abused that, it dosen't change who you are and when your ready you will give it to someone who better deserves it. I'm OK, the divorce part is hitting me hard. 7 days left and haven't so much as heard from her in weeks. Just the realization that this is how it's going to end and this is the opinion of me she is going to keep. Very similar to your situation really. I devoted my life to making her happy, not out of obligation but because I liked to, I recieved a lot of satisfaction from knowing I had taken good care of her, I enjoyed the devoted husband role. I just feel so used right now that she can do this, but it is what it is i guess. I did the best i could and now that isn't good enough for her. So be it. Feel free to write anytime. Just to chat if you like. I don't have a whole lot of friends locally anymore so i'm pretty much glued to E-mail anyways. Keep being strong vangel, your doing great!! I am very proud of you. Tojaz Link to post Share on other sites
Author vangel2 Posted July 26, 2009 Author Share Posted July 26, 2009 If his @zz was SORRY! He would have moved mountains and not done it in the first place ~ to begin with! This SORRY business? Just doesn't cut it with me! SORRY? You damned right your sorry! Sorry as HELL! You get one chance with me ~ and that's it! Life is short, and too damn short to live it being 'stupid' There's a difference between 'ignorant' and stupid! Ignorant is when you just don't know any better! Stupid is when you know better, but your dumb @zz goes ahead and does it anyway! I can forgive ignorance! I can't forgive stupid! I won't! I won't be cheated, lied to, nor laid a hand upon! I don't do these things to others people! I won't have them done upto me! Nor will I stand by and see them done unto others! Like the saying goes, "Don't do to others what you don't want done to you"... Link to post Share on other sites
WARREN86 Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2295408&posted=1#post2295408 Link to post Share on other sites
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