Mandy122 Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Hi everyone, I will try and keep this short. I had been with the same man for 8 years (I am 27) we were going to get married the whole thing. He abruptly ended it about 5 months ago stating that he needed time to be free and by himself etc etc. Okay so the first 2 months I was devastated and I admit I'm still not completly over being left like that. My sister decided a few weeks ago that I had spent enough time moping and it was time to get out and have fun which I never did with my ex. So we did and by chance I met a really nice guy I'll call Tom. Very attractive very sweet and we got along really well. A few drinks in he asked for my number a few more in and I gave it to him. The nxt day I was totally regretting it. I was nowhere near being able to consider a relationship and when he called I told him just that. I explained the situation and that even though he is great I'm just not there. He stated that he really enjoyed spending time with me and that if I was comfortable with it he would like to be friends. I did like him so I agreed. Basically things went a little nuts. The nxt weekend we got together spent the day together and that night....had mind blowing sex. I'm sorry but it really was. After the fact he asked me to stay which I did and we did the whole cuddling thing we talked about past relationships, our families it was weird, I thought it would be awkward after but yeah it was nice we connected. I left early to go to work and he texts me that if I want he'd love for me to come over later. I did and explained that yeah it was fun as hell but again can't do the relationship thing. He said he totally understood and we just spent the night watching movies and all. Here's the thing, I like cuddling with him, I like sleeping with him and I like spending time with him BUT I am a bit of a mess right now. I don't have feelings for my ex but I'm still finding myself after the break plus my confidence has taken a blow and I really feel like if I was in a relationship right now I wld be totally insecure needy and just not a good gf at all. Somehow we have continued the routine, the sex the hanging out, the checking on eachother's days etc. As of now we are totally friends with benefits....and cuddling wtf is that? He knows and I know it's a not a relationship and yet he seems to be a little more on the relationship end. Inviting me out with his buddies as "friends" he says, he always initiates the hand holding the spooning and all that. I don't want to because I'm the one saying it's just friends and sex. Is this wrong? In any other time I would really like him as a bf am I killing the eventual chance by sleeping with him and also what r the rules here. I felt like a married old maid with my ex. This whole thing is new to me and I guess I wish I hadn't started a booty call with a decent guy........but it's so nice. I told him how I felt am I misleading him anyway? Please some advice on what I need to do with this. It's like right guy wrong time Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 You need to let yourself trust and enjoy life again. You're holding him at arm's length because you're convinced you're not ready for this - but I think you're actually kidding yourself. Maybe you need a little counselling to liberate your heart and be free to let yourself love again. Link to post Share on other sites
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