Naveej Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Hello recently me and my wife decided we were going to give up drinking for a while we both agreed it was a idea being that the only time there is ever drama in our lives is when we drink. And to my amazement the very next day she went on a month long drInking bindge of every second night coming home around 5:00am,(granted she works in a restarant and gets off work at 1:00am)this realy started to bother me and came to boiling point, but when confonted she was cold and acted if I was just being an *******. Then the switch, she was so sorry and we talked about it for hours she was very open and promised thet she was going to stop staying out all night, I felt realy good about the whole thing, but she only lasted a few days. And a week later she was out till 9:00am at this point I didn't even have to say anything, she went through the same thing and promised to give up drinking all together to both me and our three year old daughter. That was a week ago and the 4th of July weekend came round and we are here again but this time she is just cold about it and is accussing me of being a controlling *******. We are both 26 and have been married for four years, the thing that realy gets me is the flip from cold and closed to loving and open. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 She's acting like a spoiled brat, reverting back to teenaged years. She's wife, a mother and has responsibilities. Do you know who she's with while drinking? Her behaviour has to stop..It's one thing to have a girls night out once in a while but to continually go out and drink, party it up all the time IS an issue and obviously it's going to affect your marriage, and affect your young child. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naveej Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 And yes for the most part I do know who she is hanging out with, (good people I trust ,and guests who stay at the resort she works at) Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 If you guys started out togther with this being the norm it is gonna be hard to expect her to change. That's the thing about relationships, sometimes you have to accept your partner for who they are especially if they have always been that way. I think it would be mature for her to slow down but I also think it would be unreasonable to ask her to change if she has always been this way and doesn't really want to change. Try to accept her for who she is and remember that you can only change your behavior. Next time around get with someone that is just a social drinker because you can't turn your wife into one because you feel she should. I tried to do it with the xh and it didn't work. He rebelled and accused me of being controlling and I was. He was that way when we got together. Now I don't date men who like to party and drink a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naveej Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 That is very close to what she said, but when we got together we had no resposiblity, now we do, and she has never been quite this bad. You are very right in alot of ways. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 She may get worse if you start being controlling. The only person you can control is you. Would be nice if she became more responsible but she isn't. Accept her for who she is or leave her because people only change when they are tired of themselves. Not because we are tired of them. Link to post Share on other sites
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