innocent Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 I love my boyfriend very much and enjoy every minute I spend with him. We have been together for a year and 7 months, and our relationship is extremely strong....we live hundreds of miles apart now. and often I often start fights with him, which i think are justified and reasonable, when I am away. I feel neglected sometimes which I KNOW I am NOT. like when he never calls me back, because someone else at his house is on the phone, and falls asleep waiting to use it. I know that it is the truth, and I really do know that for a fact, but it still makes me feel lonely, because I moved away to college where I knew maybe 4 people, and i don't have any good or even friends that I could honestly talk to here. I also turn very jealous and emotional, and i act so different I hate it! I feel as though it is not the same over the phone, like back when we were first dating and I didn't have trust in him, and am unable to tell him my feelings over the phone, but as soon as I see him again it is so right, and loving and comfortable, and so different than when I am away. There is np way i would ever end this relationship, but I just have to know why I do this and just cause trouble for us, and for what he calls me starting something for no reason at all.... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 You are insecure. When we feel insecure, we can start to get panicky and that 'fight or flight' mechanism gets going. If you don't get a handle on it, it'll overtake you and make you do dumb things - as you've seen. You need to learn how to converse on the phone without getting all worked up. Try meditation or breathing exercises or some sort of self-soothing behaviour before you speak to him. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 I agree with Moimeme, and try your best to make friends while you are there in college so you won't be leaning on your boyfriend so much for companionship and emotional support. You're reacting the way you are because your needs of not having his attention or companionship when you want it met. Realistically speaking, with you in college and both of you away from each other, you're going to have moments when you just may find it difficult or impossible to connect to talk. When those moments happen, as Moimeme say, take a deep breath, tell yourself to think reasonably and instead of thinking he forgot about you or that he doesn't love you or care about you enough, challenge those negative thoughts and realize that certain circumstances could of been out of his control. Link to post Share on other sites
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