Shes cheated on me, we've broken up but the sex continues

[dxb]

The thing is I know shes not sleeping around from my sneaky keystroke logging.

 

I don't wish to sound patronising but a lack of typing doesn't indicate a lack of tapping.

[Olylama]

Don't do this. If she does a search on the Internet with the few cut comments you send her via email, then LoveShack will come up! Try it yourself, you'll see... this is a Public Forum...

 

I Tried it i couldn't trace it back to Love shack might be because i'm in Australia.

 

Do you think i should not send her the comments i picked out for her for any other reasons?

 

I want her to know other people think she has done wrong. Her friends have sometimes commented " what are you doing babe? Olivers a nice guy, be careful" but mostly they love hearing her exploits and how much fun she has in her private world.

 

I'm poised over the send button but i am still un sure.

[Olylama]

Thats funny and your right DxB. I need to get other methods of spying in place do you know anybody with access to a military satellite?

[Athena]

I'm poised over the send button but i am still un sure.

 

Sure, send it... what's the worst that can happen? She gets to read ALL the comments, see what a loser she is, and then try to 'defend' herself here...

[Chrome Barracuda]

Um yeah.... about that sleeping? have you taken an STD test yet, there's a little bug called HIV going around out here you might want to read up on that yeah...

 

Wow man , just wow. Your 40 yrs old and cant do any better than a 27 yr old piece of ho??? Really? and you left all your stuff and just basically gave it to her. Listen get a lawyer and get your things or sue her. and stop sleeping with her. please it's disgusting.

[megluvstahoe]

Thanks Athena your a legend.

 

Me Ex has found out i am consulting this forum for advice.

 

Should i let her read all the amazing things people have said to me?

She will probably post something, in fact i know she will.

Do you all want to hear her side?

 

Hmm what to do she is REALLY wanting to read your comments.

Olylama~

Just My experience: Last night after my ex: called me over 60 times (with in anhour period) I called him back and decided I was going to read some of this comments people said. Not a Good Idea with my situation~ He became VERY angry & said this **** was giving him a Headache. He said I'm getting advice from total Strangers!!!! He also mentioned I played a part in all of this too & that’s something I probably didn't mention on the thread! I told him I don't care what his excuse was to cheat on me! BOTTOM LINE~ THERE IS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSE IN THE WORLD TO CHEAT ON SOMEONE (Period end of statement!)

 

**I’m finding out time is way to short~ We need to make the best of it~ Were totally worth it (Olylama- Your totally worth it too!)***

 

Yeah every couple has problems, but you work through it (What happened to treating people the way you want to be treated).

I’m with you on the whole working through it thing, but we have not given our significant others any reason to stop there cheating (they’ve had no consequences for the actions)

Please BE STRONG & if you ever need to talk just let me know!

If you are tempted by this women think of your son~ Do you really want him growing up knowing it’s o.k. for mommy to be with other men (what kind of message will that send?)

*GOOD LUCK & Remember there is always Hope :~) *

[dxb]

I need to get other methods of spying in place do you know anybody with access to a military satellite?

 

Ha...unfortunately, that's not funny. If you're having to spy on your wife, you don't trust her. You cannot have a relationship with someone where there is anything less than 100% trust and honesty on something like this. Everyone has little secrets that they're entitled to keep, but not stuff like this.

 

You really need to let go, and work out what is best for the child here. I have to be critical and say that your wife really does not appear to have any interest in your child's development and it sounds like she's using you to offload her parental responsibilities. You're the one staying at home doing all the work, she goes out and has all the fun, and then you get the odd sympathy **** every now and again.

 

Don't you think you deserve something better than that?

[New_life]

ohh the keyloggers, a friend of mine put it in my computer and told me so I could see if someone got in my computer.

 

They ruined me! My ex put her password and I started seeing how she was all over the place with new guys, and dating flirting, his now new bf, photos etccc

 

some sometimes i think it was better to live a lie than to have seen all that! I told her that I had seen her emails since I had the pw, and she crazy exploted and blamed me for everything, told me she hated me etccc...

 

Lesson learned: no more spying for me period.

[Olylama]

They ruined me! My ex put her password and I started seeing how she was all over the place with new guys, and dating flirting, his now new bf, photos etccc

 

some sometimes i think it was better to live a lie than to have seen all that! I told her that I had seen her emails since I had the pw, and she crazy exploted and blamed me for everything, told me she hated me etccc...

 

Lesson learned: no more spying for me period.

 

Really do you really wish you didn't find out the truth?

 

When i told my Ex i read her old emails she flipped out as well. So flipped out it was weird. I guess she was shocked i new the truth.

 

I don't feel bad about my spying. If she was innocent i would but she wasn't. It delivered to me the straight truth which is a rare thing.

 

I can say i know what went on, the mystery was removed, my imagination was not needed to make up my own stories.

[New_life]

in a way, i understand what your saying, however better to hear it from her than to have found out. i know have the images of the emails, photos, conversations.....

[Olylama]

She just told me about a new guy she likes. Ouch!

Why does it hurt so much. My Ego is sliced up.

Ouch we all have so much pain in this forum. If only I/we could channel all this energy into something healthy.

Ouch.

[Athena]

She just told me about a new guy she likes. Ouch!

Why does it hurt so much. My Ego is sliced up.

Ouch we all have so much pain in this forum. If only I/we could channel all this energy into something healthy.

Ouch.

 

Don't let her talk about other men to you at all -- just cut her off and tell her you have to go, you're busy.

Don't reward her. Don't let her hurt you -- she's well aware that what she is telling you is painful to you, she's doing it on purpose!

 

Oly! Didn't we say you shouldn't be 'talking' to her at all! TEXT her about your son... this way you don't have to listen to her voice etc... take the necessary precautions... she's like toxin in your life.

[Olylama]

Don't reward her. Don't let her hurt you -- she's well aware that what she is telling you is painful to you, she's doing it on purpose!

 

I told her i was having a break from Uni as i was an emotional wreck and i cant concentrate on it at the moment.

I think she thinks she's helping me to get over her as she knows i'm in pain.

[Athena]

I told her i was having a break from Uni as i was an emotional wreck and i cant concentrate on it at the moment.

I think she thinks she's helping me to get over her as she knows i'm in pain.

 

Nah, I don't buy that she's telling you in order to help you ... more likely, since she is obviously a person who thrives on admiration, she is telling you to get a rise out of you. She's taunting you, which is second best to having you pine over you.

 

Tell you what -- I bet she's like my H -- and simply cannot take her own medicine! My H has gone beserk over small things to do with me and any other man, for example, when our Electrician presented his cheek for a thank you kiss last year, and I gave it to him, my H went on and on about it for THREE days! And this is a husband who has many affairs on me!!!! Try it -- go out for a date with a woman and TELL you ex about it... add that you had a great shag, and you won't be requiring ex's sex, since this new one's better! and has a perfect firm body with NO stretch marks... :laugh:

[NopeNah]

Stop talking to her about anything that doesn't concern your son or the divorce. This is all she needs to hear from you about. She also doesn't sound like a very fit parent from whats been written in here. Not sure how custody goes down in Australia. But, I know that doesn't fly in the states very well.

[Phateless]

Now lets see, I appreciate any advice.

 

My story in a nut shell - 2 months out of a 7 year relationship. One child 3yrs old. I originally found out a year ago she cheated on me. I could see it in her eyes when i picked her up from the airport. But wasn't confirmed until i hacked her email and found some mail in her deleated folder which she didn't empty. I asked her if there was anything she wanted to tell me about her trip to Melbourne but she said no nothing, she lied black and blue to my face untill i eventually said hey I know what you did. she lied to me even then. I couldn't believe she could lie so easily looking me in the eyes. I lost trust for her at that point and i backdated all the times i should have been suspicious for about 2 years in situations i blindly didn't think anything of. I practicly walked in on her and our best friend on the couch but i was so trusting i didn't think anything of it. Well i moved out got a flat close by as i couldn't bare to be far from my son. 6 weeks of being single and she was coming over and shagging my brains out really amazing sex, they say break up sex is great and it was. Well i eventually got back with her forgave her for doing what i guess she had to do.

 

Her reasoning - she is a lot younger than me shes 27 I'm 40 she hasn't had her crazy youth years yet.

 

A year latter we are getting on well all happy families. She is the door girl for a local nightclub her job keeps her out till 3am on the weekends. She started to come home at 7:30 sometimes 9am saying she went to a party afterwards. Thats cool with me for a few weekends but then my stupid man brain klicked. Oh thats right my trust was broken a year ago maybe i should be suspicious.

 

I got sneaky. I purchased a spy program online and logged her keystrokes on our home computer. I just wanted to know the truth no matter what it was. I found out she was a player in town the queen of flirting. She had 5 or 6 guys actively trying to pull her they were gorgeous young boys. Sunrise walks on the beach holding hands cuddling under a blanket kissing her neck. I got all the details from e mails to her girlfriends. This was all kind of innocent as she actually didn't put out for any of them she just adored all the attention she was getting. No matter i felt cheated on as she was putting herself out there on a platter for all to admire with no respect for me her faithful loving husband at home looking after our child. I kept reading all here messages live chats etc. for a few weeks. Sometimes i would ask a question i new the answer too to see her lie to me. which she did with ease. Enough was enough when i read she actually slept with one of the guys who was the most persistent. I confronted her on this one she said "No i didnt sleep with anyone last night i swear" this is where i gave up my secret about how i new she did, i told her his full name and that i knew. The look on her face.

 

Is this too long are you still reading?

 

She flipped out got very angry, vicious even. She now knew i knew everything she must have felt a little bit guilty you would think but no.

 

I moved out of our house she kept everything we had accumulated over the 7 years. I dont really care.

 

The hate she had for me has disappeared now but i still have some anger towards her. She has sex with me occasionally well 16 times last month it is great. I do still have feelings for her and want our family to be together again but she is still putting it out there with the parties and boys.

 

I need to let go of her and get my life together shes dragging me along at her convenience. I know some of you will say i have to stop shagging her but i will find this hard to do as it is really hot sex and she is a hottie.

 

Any tips for Mojo restart?

 

Regards to you.

 

Cut her off cold turkey. No explanation, no nothing. Let her wonder why now, after all this time, you finally grew some balls.

 

As long as you're getting it from her you won't be motivated to pursue other girls. Hell, it could be her way of stringing you along.

 

I hope to god you're using condoms, btw.

[Olylama]

Try it -- go out for a date with a woman and TELL you ex about it... add that you had a great shag, and you won't be requiring ex's sex, since this new one's better! and has a perfect firm body with NO stretch marks... :laugh:

 

Uh Oh

 

Athena i did what you suggested, she came around to drop my boy off for the night and i asked her about her new interest, the guy she said she likes. She told me a little about him and then she asked if i had been on a date a few nights ago when i was out, I said um.... Yes...yes i was. (I wasn't but it was just too easy to say yeah i went on a date)

 

She started to ask all sorts of questions where did i meet her, when, what kind of breasts does she have, is she hotter than me. It was weird, she came up close to me all touchy, i was resisting as i had told myself don't go there it will be easier if i stop it. It took almost 60 seconds before i weakened and kissed her, quite proud of my will power to get to 60 seconds. It was a little strange she was so aroused.

 

Of course the date never happened and i had to develop an elaborate story of a hot single mum i met at the park whos partner had left her. She thinks shes got bigger boobs than her. Most of it i let her make up as i did mention to her over a month ago i met a woman at the park. she put the pieces together for me and i played along. It was so primal like a lioness or a hyena in the wild the hormones where running hot.

 

Dont worry everyone that has suggested that i stop shagging her. I will resist as long as i can or at least until i know that it wont hurt me anymore.

 

Makes my sadness go away for a little bit knowing she was all hot for it. It is just a big stroke on my Ego. Quite crap having ego problems, think i might try meditate or something to shrink my ego a bit.

 

She said when she left she was going to find me tomorrow and take me. I dont know if i should go out for the day or clean my pad up for a big mistake.

 

I value the wisdom of the forum and I pledge to Resist my male urges.

 

Oh man who am i kidding you know I'm going too don't you?.

 

I may go silent on this thread in shame for a few days.

[New_life]

dude, you have to resist it. the first time you resist, it will be some much easier. dont be selfish think about your son, be strong for him. plus also she is hurting you, she obviously cares about you so mean bussiness, she is using the sex as a control.

 

hang in there, don't say your not going to resist, get someone else if you have to.

[willing]

Is there any chance that your ex may be bipolar? (previously called manic-depressant). She may be in a Manic stage now, and these people 'cycle' through highs and lows over different time-lines, could even be months (or years?) of 'highs' and then hitting a depressing 'low'.

 

You might want to go online and look up symptoms for bipolar. See if that fits at all?

[Olylama]

You might want to go online and look up symptoms for bipolar. See if that fits at all?

 

Hi Willing,

 

I'm not sure if your into zodiac signs but she is a Librian.

I have come to trust certain characteristics of peoples star signs.

Librians cant make a decision if their life depended on it. Forget deciding what to order in a restaurant, or choose a colour for something.

 

I'm not making excuses for the cheating bitch but it helps explain her ditzyness.

 

I'm scorpion. I have to have her tomorrow, it is possessing me.

 

No no i will resist! Maybe I'm the bipolar one.

[Phateless]

Find another girl. Do whatever it takes to resist her. Get off on the power if it helps, but shut her ass down! Her reaction will be hilarious.

[Olylama]

Well i did it. You will be happy to read I didn't get down and dirty with her. We had a nice lunch which was like a mini interrogation. Me about the guy she has interest in for her about my fictitious single mum i dated. She wanted to know every detail which is hard when the truth is i didn't date anyone. I kind of didn't say much as its hard getting blood out of a stone. She made things up and i agreed to things i thought sounded cool.

 

She thinks we will get back together some day as I'm still the nicest guy she knows. And she knows quite a few guys. She dosnt F*** any of them. I know this is true from my spying. She hangs with a crew of people I call the "Elite Possie" i never quite got to their level of popularity but they are the beautiful in crowd.

 

I said no i dont think we will. As soon as i get another girlfriend she will be off limits. I am looking for the "ONE".

 

As we all are i guess, but which "One" is the "ONE"

[Chrome Barracuda]

Well i did it. You will be happy to read I didn't get down and dirty with her. We had a nice lunch which was like a mini interrogation. Me about the guy she has interest in for her about my fictitious single mum i dated. She wanted to know every detail which is hard when the truth is i didn't date anyone. I kind of didn't say much as its hard getting blood out of a stone. She made things up and i agreed to things i thought sounded cool.

 

She thinks we will get back together some day as I'm still the nicest guy she knows. And she knows quite a few guys. She dosnt F*** any of them. I know this is true from my spying. She hangs with a crew of people I call the "Elite Possie" i never quite got to their level of popularity but they are the beautiful in crowd.

 

I said no i dont think we will. As soon as i get another girlfriend she will be off limits. I am looking for the "ONE".

 

As we all are i guess, but which "One" is the "ONE"

 

I dont know if I believe in soulmates. I mean there are women you have great connections but a woman who can read your mind and thoughts is very rare and even if you find her, what makes you think she would want to stay or you yourself for that matter.

 

Life has a way of throwing great curveballs in your way.

 

So just go out and start dating...

 

Dont look for anything deep right now and just be open to moving on with a good woman that's into you. that's all you should be doing.

 

Have you gotten that STD' test?

[Olylama]

I dont know if I believe in soulmates. I mean there are women you have great connections but a woman who can read your mind and thoughts is very rare and even if you find her, what makes you think she would want to stay or you yourself for that matter.

 

Life has a way of throwing great curveballs in your way.

 

So just go out and start dating...

 

Dont look for anything deep right now and just be open to moving on with a good woman that's into you. that's all you should be doing.

 

Have you gotten that STD' test?

 

Eww when i see that the Chrome Barracuda has written to me i get a chill as usually your comments while being right on the money are somewhat in your face and direct.

 

But this time whats going on man? You sound like you've softened a little.

 

What you say is so true and wise thankyou.

 

No STD test needed its fallen off. Not really. It is not of great concern i always use condoms.

[Athena]

Eww when i see that the Chrome Barracuda has written to me i get a chill as usually your comments while being right on the money are somewhat in your face and direct.

 

But this time whats going on man? You sound like you've softened a little.

 

Oh that's just Chromie -- he's really a great big soft cuddly teddy bear at heart... he just puts on a fierce and mean exterior...