Athena Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Oly, why torture yourself with details on the new hot guy?! You are rewarding her with your wonderful company... look, I know it's probably easier for you to 'ease' off her, by seeing a little bit of her, knowing she wants to jump your bones each time, but you have to cut her off since she is NOT the 'One' for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olylama Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 Oly, why torture yourself with details on the new hot guy?! You are rewarding her with your wonderful company... look, I know it's probably easier for you to 'ease' off her, by seeing a little bit of her, knowing she wants to jump your bones each time, but you have to cut her off since she is NOT the 'One' for you! Yes i am being tortured, but it is a kind of sweet torture. She came over to my flat at 4am last night a little drunk and horned up out of control. Was strange as she in doesnt drink much. I tried to resist but hey i defy anybody to resist her in this instance. She believes we will get back together after a year off from our relationship. She still wants to sleep with me even if we have other partners. I guess we will always have a tie with each other through our son. I told her our sex get togethers will stop as soon as i start something with someone else. she said i wouldnt be able to help myself. I know this is all un healthy for my mind but it stops my pain for a few days after each time we do it. is this a softer way of making the separation than to just cut it off straight out as i know how hard that is. I know i am being stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Runnnnnnnnnnn Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 LOL condoms aint fool proof mayn! better get checked up just in case! Link to post Share on other sites
Athena Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 She came over to my flat at 4am last night a little drunk and horned up out of control. Was strange as she in doesnt drink much. Is she doing drugs? Hmm, you say you defy anybody to resist her, but truly, she's not all that if she is a young mom, but partying around, leading several guys on, screwing her ex-b/f (that would be you)... and a LOT of men would run. Seriously, what do you see in her? Certainly not her values, integrity, morals, consistent or stable character... your poor son... Think about this: if you found a pretty and horny woman out there -- acting exactly like your Ex -- would you actively pursue her?! To be your girlfriend? I think not. The only reason why YOU cannot resist her is because your emotions are tied up to her -- but mainly because of your ego being wounded when she dumped you, and also partly because of the shared History... but to somebody else, she is not that special at all, and would be easily resisted. Guys, back me up here... She believes we will get back together after a year off from our relationship. Oly, if you two get back together after a year, what is to stop her from going off-track again at another time in the future? Are you prepared to stand by, waiting for her, each time she gets into a Horny Year? She still wants to sleep with me even if we have other partners. yeah, just imagine you sleeping peacefully with your stunning new g/f, and Ms. Ex comes around at 4am, banging on your door, wanting to get her 'some'... I guess you would need another bedroom for her, while Ms. New G/f waits for you in your bedroom? I guess we will always have a tie with each other through our son. Who takes care of your son each and every time she goes out partying? Is it you? I told her our sex get togethers will stop as soon as i start something with someone else. she said i wouldnt be able to help myself. She's being quite pathetic... but then again, I guess she feels entitled because of your enabling behavior now. Link to post Share on other sites
evaG Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Nah, I don't buy that she's telling you in order to help you ... more likely, since she is obviously a person who thrives on admiration, she is telling you to get a rise out of you. She's taunting you, which is second best to having you pine over you. Tell you what -- I bet she's like my H -- and simply cannot take her own medicine! My H has gone beserk over small things to do with me and any other man, for example, when our Electrician presented his cheek for a thank you kiss last year, and I gave it to him, my H went on and on about it for THREE days! And this is a husband who has many affairs on me!!!! Try it -- go out for a date with a woman and TELL you ex about it... add that you had a great shag, and you won't be requiring ex's sex, since this new one's better! and has a perfect firm body with NO stretch marks... :laugh: My wise roommate told me that you have to be wary of the jealous possessive types. They feel this way because they themselves know just how easy it is to cheat on someone from past experience so they're always flipping out at the thought that their partners will do it too. Link to post Share on other sites
Athena Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 My wise roommate told me that you have to be wary of the jealous possessive types. They feel this way because they themselves know just how easy it is to cheat on someone from past experience so they're always flipping out at the thought that their partners will do it too. Yeah, I agree with that! Link to post Share on other sites
carebare Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 My friend referred me to this web site, said it might help me with what i am going through.. I have been browsing on here, but i am concerned that the people on here are not Qualified therapist and should not be giving advice. You are all wounded people with you own issues giving advice, this can be very dangerous. Suggesting some one had bi polar or other mental illness. I mean i am shocked at the advice you have been given Oliver and i feel i just had to say something.. You and your ex have issues thats for sure. But have you had therapy together. And i am sure it is not all black and white, there are always 2 sides to every story, and the people on here are making up pictures and stories from the little bits you are telling them. people have issues every one does, but it does not make them bad or crazy.. You are obviously a compassionate guy and understand this, this why you are still seeing your ex, and this is not a bad thing. but i agree, stand up for your self, be a man, that is what woman want. be strong. demand what you want for your self and her. Make some changes... I will start my own thread on here soon... but for now i am going to go round and chill every one out.. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I need to let go of her and get my life together shes dragging me along at her convenience. I know some of you will say i have to stop shagging her but i will find this hard to do as it is really hot sex and she is a hottie. Any tips for Mojo restart? Regards to you. You are P-Whipped. She's the "man" of the relationship. You're going to end up with a STD. How's that for advice? Be a man. Walk away with your pride and dignity in tact. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Sounds like a classic case of "Lust Gone Baaadd!!!" where you have good sex in a bad relationship. She is totally playin you! Dude, Man Up!! Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I know this is all un healthy for my mind but it stops my pain for a few days after each time we do it. is this a softer way of making the separation than to just cut it off straight out as i know how hard that is. I know i am being stupid. Doing this is just stopping the pain for a few days, but it will still come in full force when you finally stop. This is how coke addicts deal with their addiction. You need to deal with the pain NOW or you will NEVER be able to move on to date a new girl. Do you understand this? You will never find THE ONE as long as you are postponing the pain. Its going to take you months to get over this woman, thats IF you can cut her off. To start with someone new, with your heart being into it, to forget about your ex, you HAVE to stop seeing her NOW. Otherwise she will still use you for years, and you will let her. If you try to date now, you will not give the new girl a chance because you will still be thinking of your ex. Not only that, you keep hoping that she will change, and that you will live happy again. But your ex doesnt respect you, and never will again, as long as you still keep this going. So next time she comes over, dont open the door. simple as that. Your future wife is put off for another few months when you sleep with your ex to postpone the pain. Link to post Share on other sites
carebare Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 I challenge any one on this site to publish the whole truth when they start a thread. The full truth. this is just a place for people to whine and play the poor me victim and have other whiners back them up.. Lest we forget there are alwasy TWO sides... Link to post Share on other sites
carebare Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 And remember 1000 different people = 1000 different answers... ( or advice) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olylama Posted October 18, 2009 Author Share Posted October 18, 2009 And remember 1000 different people = 1000 different answers... ( or advice) Carebare. Your obviously hurt by peoples advice. i have found it helpfull, and in many ways common sense. You know i went to see a councilor the first time you cheated on me. 6 visits at $80 bucks a pop. She offered me no advice she just listened to me talk. A little helpfull i guess just verbalising but a complete waste of time and money. A few hours after my first post on this forum and i got more advice than those sessions and for free from people/strangers who bothered to read my story and were bothered enough to offer me some advice. They are experienced infact probably know more about it than the councilors who are getting their experience from their patients and getting paid through the nose while getting it. They are trying to help me wake up to my stupor of me believing we should be together for the kids. Well i've woken up and i now realize we are over. I came to it finally by myself no help from the forum. I'm sad about leaving that romantic idea of our familly dealing with the trials and tribulations of life together but i am also excited about being happy again eventually for the kids and myself. Our relationship was really quite average. time to set sights higher. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Carebare's your ex?? Yikes!! Glad you're doing better,man. Nothing quite as liberating when you finally face the fact that what you're losing is of ZERO worth to your life anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 My friend referred me to this web site, said it might help me with what i am going through.. I have been browsing on here, but i am concerned that the people on here are not Qualified therapist and should not be giving advice. You are all wounded people with you own issues giving advice, this can be very dangerous. Suggesting some one had bi polar or other mental illness. I mean i am shocked at the advice you have been given Oliver and i feel i just had to say something.. You and your ex have issues thats for sure. But have you had therapy together. And i am sure it is not all black and white, there are always 2 sides to every story, and the people on here are making up pictures and stories from the little bits you are telling them. people have issues every one does, but it does not make them bad or crazy.. You are obviously a compassionate guy and understand this, this why you are still seeing your ex, and this is not a bad thing. but i agree, stand up for your self, be a man, that is what woman want. be strong. demand what you want for your self and her. Make some changes... I will start my own thread on here soon... but for now i am going to go round and chill every one out.. Oliver posted his feelings. You can't tell someone that their feelings aren't true. He got cheated on and now he's being strung along. That is black and white. I told Oliver that he needs to take control of his own life and stop wasting his time with someone who would cheat on him and then string him along. It's his own fault and responsibility for wasting any time with her now. It's up to HIM to move on and shut her out for his own good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olylama Posted October 21, 2009 Author Share Posted October 21, 2009 Carebare's your ex?? Yikes!! Hi, yep its her she finally found out somehow about where to find my posting. Shes getting quite good at computing stuff i guess. I am just starting to wake up from my coma of self pitty and ego damage. People can be fools for a long time before they eventually wake up and get out of bed. I'm having a sleep in. But almost time to rise and shine. Wow new people reading this thread willl do well getting to the end. Time to start a new thread for my self with a happy begining middle and end. It is possible i can see that now. I hope it is also possible for everyone else too. Thanks everyone. Oliver Link to post Share on other sites
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