Why does she bother?

[SaxMan]

Hi. I have been friends with this girl I know for around 5 years now. I began to like her about a year or so after meeting her and a bit later she liked me as well. We went out but she ended it saying we were really still just friends. We were young then though.

 

To make the story shorter I will condense the next 3 or 4 years. I liked her on and off and she would often say stupid things like she wishes I would be her bf or that we should have sex on a specific date or something.

 

This is usually due to alcohol. I ring her and she says It was a mistake, I didnt mean any of it. Doesn't alcohol make you more blunt and willing to say the truth though?

 

Recently we went out had a few drinks and headed back to her place. She let me sleep over so I didn't have to walk home. I asked for a duvet to sleep on the floor but she let me sleep in her bed with her. She grabbed my hand when I got in and put it round her. After spooning for around 2 hours she was asleep. At this point I got up and snuck out since I had a feeling she would regret letting me stay and I had to be up for work early and would have to walk all the way home before work.

 

Despite the alcohol, would you really let a guy spoon and touch you if you had no sexual interest in them?

 

Why does she constantly do this to me every few months? BTW we havn't spoken about the night at her house. She is away at the moment anyway.

 

So confused. Do I enquire into it further, possibly making our friendship awkward? Or do I simply ignore it and try and take my mind off her?

 

I keep thinking maybe, her inviting me into her bed she wanted me to do more with her. I was tempted to kiss her at one point but since she was drunk and our past history I didn't. Maybe I should take a damn risk for once?

 

This isn't even about sex or anything like that. I love being with her and holding her close. She makes me feel happy and she is the ONLY person who truly gets me 100%. I truly love her and sadly I think I always will do. If she didn't lead me on occassionally it would be fine but the stupid things she does sparks my feelings for her. I really do love her more than anyone else I have ever met.

[minniezz]

I think naybe she likes you or loves you,she showed you the signs,why dont you just take it before it slips away ?

Girls often dont say the "L" words 1st but they say stuffs that means it and often related to alcohol.Thats why.Just do what you think is right buddy.

Good luck

[LoveLace]

Well the "friendship" is already awkward, if you've slept and spooned together...too late to worry bout that.

 

And obviously yes she has sexual interest and possibly more for you...because she says so (even though while drunk, she says so) and she invited you to her bed...reasons for that don't matter, it means she likes you. So for you to ask her out, or ask how she feels, is nothing that can make things any more "awkward" then they might already feel. It's more like a follow up on things that have already happened. Ask her out and suggest you take it slow. It doesn't sound like she'd say no.

[Left in a Lurch]

Read WTRangers post from the Onion:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t193127/

 

I think it says it all.

[SaxMan]

I think honestly she does like me but is scared as to what her friends would think. I would certainly like to explore the next level

 

I have two options at the moment:

 

1. Ask her what the other night meant to her. Was she wanting me to go a bit further with her etc?

 

2. Sort a romantic 'date' which can lead back to a similar situation to that of the other night.

 

What do you guys think? I will keep you updated.

 

PS: Was it a bad idea to sneak out of her bed and leave? I couldn't get to sleep, we weren't spooning anymore and I had to be up early and at my house to get ready for work.

 

Should I ask her about this?

[SaxMan]

bump. Still need help on this guys.

[funwithpaint]

I think that you are over playing the alcohol issue. Because it is a depressent it is supposed usually block out low level emotions and only the big ones get through. Thats why you see people who are drunk acting at extremes. Alcohol can not change how you already feel so IMO she does have feelings for you. I would say flat out ask her what it is she wants and then go from there.

 

Like lovelace said its not going to make things more awkward. I think it will do one of these two things

 

1. She will tell you that she is interested and then you go on from there

 

2. She will tell you that she isnt interested but you getting that out in the open will have a stabalizing effect on your friendship.

[Jada]

Okay I've slept with guys in the same bed and spooned it didn't make me want to sleep with them and I saw them platonically. I'd wait until you saw some more definite signals before making a move on her. My bet is that spooning for her is comfort and affection, just my take on it.

[Ping]

She likes you!

You should be positive!

[LoveLace]

Okay I've slept with guys in the same bed and spooned it didn't make me want to sleep with them and I saw them platonically. I'd wait until you saw some more definite signals before making a move on her. My bet is that spooning for her is comfort and affection, just my take on it.

 

I've also slept with guys and it doesn't necessarily mean I want to "sleep" with them...but I also don't desire to get that close to someone I only truly see as "platonic". There's usually some level of liking them a little more there...but that's just me, the girl you speak of may just want the comfort and affection as Jada said.