Thank you to the OW (kind of)

[aeh]

Dear Other Woman:

 

Wow, did you rock my world. You nearly tore apart my family and the fifteen years we have spent together. I am not blaming you. I totally get that you would want the life I have and the husband I have. So this has been a little bit (okay, a HUGE) wake-up call for me. But I must admit that I have never felt closer to my husband than I do now. We have had sex probably two or three times a day ever since the discovery and when we're not having sex we're crying and cuddling. It's the most passionate, uninhibited sex you could imagine. I knew he would never leave me, I've never had a fear of that. We have too much history together. But the affair has definitely made me more aware of what I have and what I don't want to lose. I'm sure I'll have bad days here and there, probably many, but thanks for making our relationship stronger than ever.

 

Sincerely,

 

Betrayed Spouse

[NOTSURE7]

Dear Other Woman:

 

Wow, did you rock my world. You nearly tore apart my family and the fifteen years we have spent together. I am not blaming you. I totally get that you would want the life I have and the husband I have. So this has been a little bit (okay, a HUGE) wake-up call for me. But I must admit that I have never felt closer to my husband than I do now. We have had sex probably two or three times a day ever since the discovery and when we're not having sex we're crying and cuddling. It's the most passionate, uninhibited sex you could imagine. I knew he would never leave me, I've never had a fear of that. We have too much history together. But the affair has definitely made me more aware of what I have and what I don't want to lose. I'm sure I'll have bad days here and there, probably many, but thanks for making our relationship stronger than ever.

 

Sincerely,

 

Betrayed Spouse

 

I am happy its working out for you, but i am a married man who has engaged in a few affairs and i will tell you that please keep your eyes open and your guard up, if he is capable once he could be capable twice.just because he would never leave you dosent make it any better and as soon as the smoke clears he could fall back into the trap, i am not saying it will happen but just keep your eyes open.

 

but on the flip side my W has never found out nor did i have the guts to tell her so i dont know from experience how it could or would be with everything out in the open, so i can definetely see that maybe your H saw what he was going to lose and on the flip side you realized what he was lacking.

 

can i ask, how did you find out?, did he tell you?, how long was it going on and what is the status of the ow now?

 

good luck to you, i wish you all the best.

[Adunaphel]

Dear Other Woman:

 

Wow, did you rock my world. You nearly tore apart my family and the fifteen years we have spent together. I am not blaming you. I totally get that you would want the life I have and the husband I have. So this has been a little bit (okay, a HUGE) wake-up call for me. But I must admit that I have never felt closer to my husband than I do now. We have had sex probably two or three times a day ever since the discovery and when we're not having sex we're crying and cuddling. It's the most passionate, uninhibited sex you could imagine. I knew he would never leave me, I've never had a fear of that. We have too much history together. But the affair has definitely made me more aware of what I have and what I don't want to lose. I'm sure I'll have bad days here and there, probably many, but thanks for making our relationship stronger than ever.

 

Sincerely,

 

Betrayed Spouse

 

I have a feeling that the OW might be thankful to you too... by finding out about the affair, and letting her know with facts that he would never leave you, you made her save a lot of time and helped her to see trough the fake facade your H showed to her.

 

I hope he will prove himself worthy of the second chance you are giving him.

[NoIDidn't]

Dear Other Woman:

 

Wow, did you rock my world. You nearly tore apart my family and the fifteen years we have spent together. I am not blaming you. I totally get that you would want the life I have and the husband I have. So this has been a little bit (okay, a HUGE) wake-up call for me. But I must admit that I have never felt closer to my husband than I do now. We have had sex probably two or three times a day ever since the discovery and when we're not having sex we're crying and cuddling. It's the most passionate, uninhibited sex you could imagine. I knew he would never leave me, I've never had a fear of that. We have too much history together. But the affair has definitely made me more aware of what I have and what I don't want to lose. I'm sure I'll have bad days here and there, probably many, but thanks for making our relationship stronger than ever.

 

Sincerely,

 

Betrayed Spouse

 

 

You must have just found out. Poor thing.

 

Once the anger and disappointment in him sets in, you'll be singing a different tune.

 

You may still be very much in love and confident that your H will never leave you, but you will be deeply ashamed of his actions.

 

Believe me, I know. I was once in your shoes.

[torranceshipman]

These guys are just master players, really...I mean, he gets found out, and you stay loyal and keep him AND come here and defend him, and he's doing the intense crying and what not....right now he doesn't even deserve you SPEAKING to him let alone give him the most intense sex he's had for the last 15yrs!!!!

 

I expect he pulled quite a lot of that act with the OW too...that intensity, the crying, etc etc....

 

Ahhh I really wish some of these guys would get the treatment they really deserve, rather than being treated like the big prize...

[Mino]

Isnt that what always happens after D day? My guy got caught many times, moved out 3 times, I am sure he played the game well after he crawedl back home. But after about 7 days, guess where he was standing, at my door AGAIN!! So we made passionate love and cried for hours too. The A continued, and the BS was sitting at home thinking all was well again, till he got caught again, and again. Amazingly she ALWAYS thought this time was the last. The sad thing is the MM usually just go deeper underground, and gaslight the bs even more. But good Luck to you, I think youll NEED it !

[torranceshipman]

Seriously, from reading lots of stories on these boards, it's not like the MM says 'hey, fancy an A'? Usually it is crazy levels of gaslighting, intense protestations of love to the OW and promises that he'll leave the W for her...etc,etc...just my opinion, but you should really pull back here and think about things rather than just the intensity of the 'I won him' moment. To be fair a MM who is being shady and having A's isn't much to win really...

 

Is he truly sorry? Are you guys going to counselling? If she works with him has he talked about changing place of work, etc?

[jj33]

Wow. Thats interesting. If you are happy we are happy for you.

 

You must be really angry and hurt which is understandable.

 

Otherwise you wouldnt have felt the need to post something like this on a board meant to provide support for OW/OM.

[GreenEyedLady]

I am thinking a five letter word here.

 

Other than that, the substance of the post: not worth my time.

[Mino]

Wow. Thats interesting. If you are happy we are happy for you.

 

You must be really angry and hurt which is understandable.

 

Otherwise you wouldnt have felt the need to post something like this on a board meant to provide support for OW/OM.

JJ, The guy is lying, he told her he was having sex in a parking garage for 6 months!, afraid to get a room because it will show on the cc, BS is really naive, MM use CASH!!! But that goes to show how GOOD,( acadamy award good ) these guys are when caught and trying to show remorse, just to go and continue F**king around after the dust settles. They just gert better at it.

[Mino]

Cut her some slack. She just found out a few days ago and is still getting trickle truth. She is in for a very long, bumpy road in which these feelings she's having now are going to be blown to bits.

 

She thinks she's victorious and all that, but we know what she's really in for. I kinda feel sorry for her.

I know, I feel for her too, poor thing

[NoIDidn't]

I am thinking a five letter word here.

 

Other than that, the substance of the post: not worth my time.

 

 

LOL. Apparently it was if you took the time to post anything at all.

 

But yeah, we get a lot of drive by BS's here, don't we?

[NoIDidn't]

JJ, The guy is lying, he told her he was having sex in a parking garage for 6 months!, afraid to get a room because it will show on the cc, BS is really naive, MM use CASH!!! But that goes to show how GOOD,( acadamy award good ) these guys are when caught and trying to show remorse, just to go and continue F**king around after the dust settles. They just gert better at it.

 

I dunno. Maybe YOUR ex used cash, but on that "other board" some of the OWs openly admit to humping in parking garages and in cars parked on dark alleys.

 

Its not that hard to believe, actually.

 

If anything, this should be a warning to a new OW who actually is waiting for the dust to settle to not believe that the BW is so mad she isn't touching him or letting him touch her.

[Mino]

I dunno. Maybe YOUR ex used cash, but on that "other board" some of the OWs openly admit to humping in parking garages and in cars parked on dark alleys.

 

Its not that hard to believe, actually.

 

If anything, this should be a warning to a new OW who actually is waiting for the dust to settle to not believe that the BW is so mad she isn't touching him or letting him touch her.

Actually we didnt do neither, he came to my house. Hey didnt op say her H o/w is single? Why would they NOT go to her house instead? They wouldnt need a room since she is NOT marrried. Maybe she should ask her remorseful husband about that one. The car thing, I cant imagine a 6 month A taking place only in a car, maybe a ONS, but I seriously doubt 6 month A....

[fooled once]

Dear Other Woman:

 

Wow, did you rock my world. You nearly tore apart my family and the fifteen years we have spent together. I am not blaming you. I totally get that you would want the life I have and the husband I have. So this has been a little bit (okay, a HUGE) wake-up call for me. But I must admit that I have never felt closer to my husband than I do now. We have had sex probably two or three times a day ever since the discovery and when we're not having sex we're crying and cuddling. It's the most passionate, uninhibited sex you could imagine. I knew he would never leave me, I've never had a fear of that. We have too much history together. But the affair has definitely made me more aware of what I have and what I don't want to lose. I'm sure I'll have bad days here and there, probably many, but thanks for making our relationship stronger than ever.

 

Sincerely,

 

Betrayed Spouse

 

Why do you have sex 2-3 times a day? Is that to keep him satisfied so he doesn't stray? I can't image having to do this (and I don't mean having as if sex is a chore) just to keep a man.

 

Eventually, the sex all day will stop -- because life can't just stop ceasing while you two have sex.

 

What are you going to do then?

 

Sorry, but something with your post totally rubbed me wrong.

 

[NoIDidn't]

Why do you have sex 2-3 times a day? Is that to keep him satisfied so he doesn't stray? I can't image having to do this (and I don't mean having as if sex is a chore) just to keep a man.

 

Eventually, the sex all day will stop -- because life can't just stop ceasing while you two have sex.

 

What are you going to do then?

 

Sorry, but something with your post totally rubbed me wrong.

 

 

You've never heard of "hysterical bonding"? Its pretty common. Not everyone does it, though. I didn't. But its pretty common.

[MistyK]

I wonder how it would go over if an OW posted a snotty "I won because even as you sleep with him at night, your husband is still ****ing me daily and we laugh at how stupid you are for believing his lies" message to BS's. I'm guessing not well. This is ridiculous.

[NoIDidn't]

I wonder how it would go over if an OW posted a snotty "I won because even as you sleep with him at night, your husband is still ****ing me daily and we laugh at how stupid you are for believing his lies" message to BS's. I'm guessing not well. This is ridiculous.

 

You have not been here long enough. Of course the kinds of thread that you mention has been posted. And the OW was called on that too. LOL

[whichwayisup]

I think it's good that you're reconnecting with your husband, but he still needs to prove to you outside of the bedroom that he is worthy of your love and trust again. Maybe he truly is sorry and regrets cheating on you, but don't put all your eggs in one basket quite yet - Unfortunately it seems after a betrayed spouse finds out the truth, most cheating spouses still keep intouch in some form with the OW/OM, even though they'll claim they're not.

 

Do marriage counselling. Make time for eachother, talk and really listen to one another. The affair is TOTALLY his fault and you aren't to blame for his selfish choice to cheat, but each of you are responsible for any problems in the marriage. Something is/was broken inside of him, hopefully he's working on himself to figure out why he hurt you so badly.

[MistyK]

You have not been here long enough. Of course the kinds of thread that you mention has been posted. And the OW was called on that too. LOL

 

You know, that's just sad all the way around. Why do we need men to tear us apart? Other women are so happy to do it!

[tami-chan]

Wow...he deserves all that sex and tears from you? what a lucky man!

[LadyDi]

Like a previous poster mentioned, all your porn star quality sex is hysterical bonding, this too shall pass and then you'll begin to resent him. Come back in a month or so and let us know if you're still thankfull.

[NoIDidn't]

Like a previous poster mentioned, all your porn star quality sex is hysterical bonding, this too shall pass and then you'll begin to resent him. Come back in a month or so and let us know if you're still thankfull.

 

My girlfriend resented her H so much she stopped having sex with him for a year afterwards because of the way he let the truth just dribble out for the first three months.

 

Hysterical bonding only really lasts for about a month to six weeks. So she had to have just found out.

 

But when that anger sets in.......whew! He's not going to know what hit him and she's not going to know the depth of her resentment towards him.

 

Its a shame really. I wish she hadnt posted this. It doesn't help anyone. Least of all, her.

[whichwayisup]

No, it's good she's posted this. This will help her and maybe some of the nicer and respectful responses will sink in abit.

 

Her posting this is not that different than an OW/OM posting saying "it's over and I'm doing NC. I'm done forever.." and then the next week, they're back with the MM/MW again.

[MistyK]

No, it's good she's posted this. This will help her and maybe some of the nicer and respectful responses will sink in abit.

 

Her posting this is not that different than an OW/OM posting saying "it's over and I'm doing NC. I'm done forever.." and then the next week, they're back with the MM/MW again.

 

There is a gloating, competitive snarky quality to it that I think is totally different than an OW trying to end it and then finding she doesn't have the emotional bearings to follow through. The OW going back to a MM is like a breaking of resolve, not a snarky "I won" this crappy prize kinda thing. But then you may be thinking of something in particular that I haven't seen, I'm relatively new.