Where did I take a turn for the worse?

[Awesome84]

Gosh... I don't know where to start. I seem to be resenting my boss and my friend and I think they are out to get me.... WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME???

 

Short introduction... I just moved to a big city about 7 months ago to pursue a new career path since being laid off last year. Anyhow... I started interning at a new place where I quickly became my mentor's assistant and 'right hand'. So the place that I'm interning at isn't doing so well economically and my boss decided that he was going to find a new place and that I was coming along with him. I was happy about that but thought to myself 'I'll believe it when I see it'... since he puts off big projects sometimes.

 

In the midst of all this... I have become friends with another guy who works there and we quickly found out that we have alot in common and we could joke around with each other easily. He introduced me to his closest friends...etc. I'll admit I like this guy but nothing could ever happen with us because he is with someone already. Him and I could always talk about the problems that were going on at the work place and everything else. I don't have any friends in the new city. All I have is my mom so being friends with him seemed to be a blessing for me.

 

So now... my boss and my friend found a new place that is sooo great and we'd talk about obtaining the place for ourselves to do business. My boss has a close friend who is investing in the business and now he's going to be part of the team. Ok fine.

 

The turn for the worse seems to have happened within the last couple of weeks. I first noticed something happening when one day my boss decided to take my friend to a meeting with an important client instead of me. At first I didn't think anything of it but I really wanted to go but couldn't because I had to take my mom to the doctor. He didn't even ask me though. So that same day... I called my boss and asked him how everything went and he said ohhh we needed to reschedule because of timing (fair enough). But then I said... well great... now I can go!!! And he hemed and hawed... (you know when people give you the i don't know sound?).... So I said (jokingly)... Why are you giving me the cold shoulder... and he laughed and said I am not! Then he told me him and my friend was going to meet the other guy (investor guy) for his birthday and he will call me and let me know what time. Well.... he DID call... but as I was on my way there.... he called me back and was like I think we are going to have to do this another day because I can't find a place to park down here (downtown) and I wanted to be able to buy you some drinks (understandable because I do alot for him with little pay). Ok... fair enough! Afterwards I got this REALLY REALLY big gut feeling that he actually did go.

 

So... after the weekend past... I was in the office, my friend was in the office, and so being that we are close, I asked him if he went to see the client... and he was like yea we did... and I was like OH REALLY... and I told him what my boss told me and he was like well it was last minute because he called us back and told us to come... then I was like.... so did you guys go see B (investor guy)... he was like yea. And I was like OH REALLY.... and I told him again... what my boss told me and he didn't get to explain since someone interrupted us. After that... I got this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and I just wanted to cry because I felt like people were lying to me. So I figured the best thing to do is to confront my boss about it and he said 'This was ALL last minute.... don't worry... we are not trying to cut you out.' Afterwards I felt alittle bit better and the 4 of us had a meeting about the new business and they asked me to be a partner meaning that we are all equal in this.

 

Anyway... ever since then... I can't shake this nagging feeling that they are out to get me and ruin me!!!

 

A few other points... some really embarrasing things happened to me before this all started... I tripped and fell in front of everyone and a few days later I accidentally backed into another car (no damage) with my friend in the car and he's been making fun of me ever since and even told my boss about it, then they were both making fun of me. However.... we do make fun of each other sometimes so this all might be normal.

 

Also... even though I go to school (online)... I DO have alot of time on my hands and I have no friends (except the ones back at home that I only talk to once in awhile).

 

Suddenly I have begun doubting myself and I feel like they are out to ruin me:( I keep thinking about it. And I don't know if it's because of those two things happening making me lose confidence in myself or that I need to just get a life or what but it's getting bad because I am paranoid about it ALL THE TIME!!! My friend has even stopped calling me. He used to call or text me ever other day but now it's been like 10 days. I've been analyzing all this to death and I came up with the fact that I wouldn't even be feeling like this if my friend weren't there.

 

Whats the matter with me??? Am I feeling this way because something really IS wrong... or because I like my friend a lot deep down inside and the embarrasment has taken a toll on me... or because I have too much time on my hands and I need to get a life???

 

Please help! :(:(

[Left in a Lurch]

I had a business with a partner and got the same thing, a strong gut feeling that I was going to get screwed and something was going on, so I basically took over everything important and took it out of his hands. I usually trust my gut feelings because they tell me the truth I don't want to think about, and because I was prepared it was no big shock when unknown to him I found out he started working for a competitor and embezzled from me while he tried to act like he was busy working on our customers.

 

I'd say trust your gut and business is business. It sounds like you are young but you'll learn at the end of the day, it's every man (or woman) for themselves in business. If they feel you don't bring anything to the table, they might have thought at first they could bring everyone along and do the job you do with the same people, but the reality might have set in that you are "just another mouth to feed" in a new company that won't have a lot of income coming in. If they brought you along they probably figured out they couldn't afford you and they likely know most businesses fail in the first year and things are very lean. With 4 people and taxes and accountants and attorneys and business as well as health insurance, they likely would have to have $300,000+ revenue in the first year just to scrape by. Even though that sounds low, when reality sets in that could be very difficult to make.

 

Now if you are a shark, you'll know that if your boss hasn't left his current company you hold a little bit of power. Keep in mind they likely have signed a non-compete and they are actually being enforced by a lot of judges. If your current company is not doing too well in the economy, I guarantee you they will not take too kindly if current employees are looking to branch out and potentially compete with them, or steal customers.

 

If you know for sure you are getting cut out of the mix and they are stringing you along, you could use the information to gain position in your current company among other things. The trick of the whole thing is to look out for yourself and get what you want. Sometimes the opportunities you get aren't exactly the opportunity you were looking for, but it's still an opportunity to better your own career.

[Brady_to_Moss]

Its just a rough patch and you gotta take it in strides. You will come out of whatever you are feeling.

 

I am getting so stressed with work and just idk...i am in such a rut and i hate it..Sorry if this didnt help but just know people are here to listen!

 

Best of luck to you!

[Awesome84]

Thankyou Chat Room Hero. I really DO want this.... the new business and all. It's what I always wanted in a career field I love. I think really I just let a couple of things get the best of me and I have to learn how to not run away from my problems. I have a tendency in the past... to run away from things when the going gets tough.

 

My boss DID include me in the email he sent to the owner of the building requesting financial information so that we can take over.

 

As far as the current place.... non of us like the current owner. He's doing everything wrong and it makes working there difficult (too much to explain). So me staying at the current place while they go is out of the question. I WANT to be included... I'm happy to be included... and I know that I can bring something to the table.

 

The crazy thing is that I still feel like my friend has something to with all of this. My so called friend that is.

 

On the other hand... I could be imagining that too! I think I am like my mom somehow and I don't wanna be. She creates these crazy scenarios that everyone in our family is out to get her and ruin her. Everytime something goes wrong she blames them. Like one time... her brakes went out on her car and she said that someone in the family messed up her car. I was like MA... YOUR CAR WAS IN THE GARAGE... that's just crazy!!!

 

I don't wanna be like her!!!