Danzig Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Hey, I'm new to this website, and I'd just like to get some advice or stories from some of the members who have felt this way before. Well I'll start off by just explaining my situation. My ex girlfriend and I were together for about nine month long distance relationship(she lived in my town and was going to school about 3 hours away.She came down probly every second weekend and we'd spend most of it together.We remained in contact via phone or txting many times a day)and it ended about 6 weeks ago.It was pretty much mutual(Though she's the one who brought up the old"I think we need to talk about us" speech.) We were both pretty shy and our relationship was mostly physical, like kissing, cuddling on the couch, and more intimate things. We both knew we were'nt connecting the way we wanted so I was okay with the breakup.The first week was great, I felt free, I could try flirting with other girls, not having to txt her 30 times a day and etc... She txted me a few times to see how I was doing, plus we wanted to remain friends. I know now that that was a bad idea, I should have initiated NC right away.The second week I still felt fine, I missed her a little though. The third week is when it really hit me. I found out she already had a new boyfriend by the second week, and I was pretty crushed. I thought my god, she got over me that fast? Thats when I started NC, got her off my facebook and MSN and got rid of anything that reminded me of her. But since that day, i've felt like major crap. I haven't met anyone at all whos even shown interest in me. I really want to get over this girl but i'm having a very difficult time. I find everything i do is just a distraction until i start thinking about her again. I just want to get her out of my head for good because I know deep down we were'nt right for each other anyway. I feel like I've been stuck in the same day for weeks, the morning's usually the worst cause I keep having dreams about her. I just want to figure out if I miss her truly, or am I just lonely? Also, I live in a pretty small town with only a few bars to hang out in and I'm afraid of seeing her with her new boyfriend cause I don't know how I'm gonna take it. Anytime I think about it I get nervous. Anyone who's run into that problem, please let me know thats it's not so bad and that I'm over thinking it. Sorry it's so long lol. and thanks for any help Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Its a mixture of both, I can say because I felt the exact same things you did, then when i started dating I started missing my ex less and less as well as time went on. Honestly I can say its been 11 months for me, and I still think of my ex fiance every day, it doesn't hurt me or btoher me as much but its still a little thorn in my side once in a while. All you can do is take your time, heal at your own space, post here, try not to seek out any information about her, if you see her just keep it short and polite and move on, time heals trust me, in teh early days I never knew if I could take it. Link to post Share on other sites
Peanut9330 Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Most people experiance these kind of emotions after a break up and I know its hard becasue you were use to having her in your life whether you guys had a strong intimate conection or not she still was someone that was part of your life and now she's gone. In time you will feel better and you cant be afarid to go out, you have to go out and meet new people you dont have to jump into a relationship right away just go out and have fun give yourself a chance to be happy and trust me in time you will feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Danzig Posted July 7, 2009 Author Share Posted July 7, 2009 Thanks guys. Feels better knowing people have been through, and are going through the same crap Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 dont worry man its get better past 11 months, ive had my ex fiance cheat on me left me for another man, dated again dumped for no reason, dated again only to find out shes pregnant with her ex baby. Sometimes its not so bad being alone, worknig on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 I know what your going through to a T...almost, as everyone is different The dreams will change to a more annoying status, and thew way she treats yuo in thos dremas will change too. I feel lonly as heel, Im not an ugly guy, but for me its been almost 3 months and I have not rebounded yet. In time, you will feel empowered by not doing so as you are not burying the emotion with another person. You are simply working on yourself, more and more and more. The longer you go, yes, you will feel lonly as heel, but you will be GROWING...and in the long run you WILL thank yourself for it. I dont feel anything for anyone else either, no one inteterests me, only the ex. Howeever, I would take her back as she has had some other guy and I have been working on myself, as have you my friend. Keep strong, keep positive and remember that this will make you the man you always wanted to be, she wanted you to be, and that every dream woman you have ever wanted will want you to be in time to come. You are doing well, and I hope you are employing NC rule, for YOU right now. It WILL help P.S EmporoR- that last comment, bro that is a ****tty ****ed up thing to happen. -Hugs- man Link to post Share on other sites
Author Danzig Posted July 8, 2009 Author Share Posted July 8, 2009 Yup, I'm doing the NC thing. It's been almost two weeks. Damn, I wish I would've found this site the day after we broke up, lol Link to post Share on other sites
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