Chrome Barracuda Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Why? Because I've analyzed my relationships of the past... I understand what I did wrong. I can learn from the past and make changes in myself. That's how I know I can keep my end of the bargain. I understand that sounds ironic, considering the illicit relationship I find myself in... but I can make choices and direct my own actions. You know what? even if she does bail out down the road... my life goes on. I am confident though, that I can keep her in romance for a long, long time. I want the same from her, I'm going to work towards that end. Hell, I moved my 2nd wife back into romance after her indiscretions... of course, that was when I thought I still wanted to make a go of it with her. Why did it take two failed marriages and you cheating all this time that makes you want to change now? That doesnt make sense. Your relationship is built on deception and lies , are you really clear that it's going to be turned into trust if you cant trust her off the bat??? Can you control your urges and not cheat again, I mean you cheated on both of your wives what makes this woman so different? Are you gonna trade her in when you get your fill in? or are you gonna stick by this one? What makes this one so different? Why change now? Why dont your start fresh and be with a single woman so that way you have a shot of something decent with a decent woman without a whole lot of baggage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiraling downward Posted July 8, 2009 Author Share Posted July 8, 2009 Can you control your urges and not cheat again, I mean you cheated on both of your wives what makes this woman so different? Are you gonna trade her in when you get your fill in? or are you gonna stick by this one? What makes this one so different? Why change now? Why dont your start fresh and be with a single woman so that way you have a shot of something decent with a decent woman without a whole lot of baggage? This is the first time I ever pursued a married woman. Like I've stated before, our affair has been overwhelming towards the emotional end rather than the physical. I think I understand who she is and what she is about. I'll be the first to admit that I have many character flaws, but I can always try to do things better the next time around. Chrome Barracuda... the following is not necessarily directed towards you.... just a general comment... It's interesting to me why so many people are around here trying to fix the cheaters. I imagine that is because some of you are trying to understand what makes us tick. What that tells me though is that there are some unsettled issues in your own lives... It seems like there should be better hobbies out there for some of you. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Many of us on here have been cheaters --- and learned valuable lessons from that experience. Seems any wise person would maybe really think about the words of people who have been there, done that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiraling downward Posted July 8, 2009 Author Share Posted July 8, 2009 Many of us on here have been cheaters --- and learned valuable lessons from that experience. Seems any wise person would maybe really think about the words of people who have been there, done that. That's true, but there are no one size fits all solutions to any situation regarding the relationship of two people. Every person has their own personality and each relationship has it's own unique dynamics. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused4Now Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Chrome Barracuda... the following is not necessarily directed towards you.... just a general comment... It's interesting to me why so many people are around here trying to fix the cheaters. I imagine that is because some of you are trying to understand what makes us tick. What that tells me though is that there are some unsettled issues in your own lives... It seems like there should be better hobbies out there for some of you. I've always never looked at Chrome dome's remarks...even though he does bring good things to the board. Its his delivery which is not always what we like to hear. So you can choose to read his remarks or not. I usually don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 I've always never looked at Chrome dome's remarks...even though he does bring good things to the board. Its his delivery which is not always what we like to hear. So you can choose to read his remarks or not. I usually don't. Yep my delivery is like a magnum shooting silver bullets. No one listens to it, even though it is even handed. Chrome dome huh? lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 My MW just filed for divorce today.... my divorce was final 3 weeks ago... what do the naysayers have to say?? congrats!! if he has a family...then this is a good victory over them for you:) Link to post Share on other sites
complicatedlife Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 It's interesting to me why so many people are around here trying to fix the cheaters. I imagine that is because some of you are trying to understand what makes us tick. What that tells me though is that there are some unsettled issues in your own lives... It seems like there should be better hobbies out there for some of you. I can understand why you would feel that way. There is a lot of projecting, moralizing, and criticizing that goes on in here - though I do think that it should be expected on a public forum composed of different personalities, backgrounds, life experiences, and to top it off, we are in a highly controversial forum (OW/OM) that people tend to get emotional about. But.....there are many people here who even in their anonymity, really are concerned about the OPs and give great advice and suggestions. Sometimes one might even be blessed enough to get the support that they were seeking. I have personally received some great suggestions and opinions from people here and I've also made a few friends; you learn to take what you can use and what you need, and just ignore the rest. It does help you to have tough skin, though. All in all, there's great advice here from time to time - even from the "naysayers" as you call them. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 I've always never looked at Chrome dome's remarks. always never eh? Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiraling downward Posted July 8, 2009 Author Share Posted July 8, 2009 congrats!! if he has a family...then this is a good victory over them for you:) Unfortunately this seems to have turned out to be a competition... him vs. me... the pendulum did not swing my direction until I walked away from MW. She implored me not to leave her and abruptly ended her marriage. I did not see that coming. So, victory yes. BTW, he was textbook in effing things up. He started doing the things he should have been doing with her all along when he finally noticed her slipping away. Too little too late. I watched him implode. I'm sure I could have given him some pointers on what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Unfortunately this seems to have turned out to be a competition... him vs. me... the pendulum did not swing my direction until I walked away from MW. She implored me not to leave her and abruptly ended her marriage. I did not see that coming. So, victory yes. BTW, he was textbook in effing things up. He started doing the things he should have been doing with her all along when he finally noticed her slipping away. Too little too late. I watched him implode. I'm sure I could have given him some pointers on what to do. well congrats again, your smug, blaming of someone elses spouse, and over-inflated sense of being kind of a gods gift to women attitude, help explain why you weren't impartial to messing around with someone elses wife. oh ya, you 2 are gonna be a great couple....will save 2 other people in the world.....that is until one or both of you starts cheating on each other after the excitement and taboo has worn off and if you are all that and a bag of chips, and could have "given him some pointers" in keeping his wife, as if its his fault, then why did your x-wife cheat? Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiraling downward Posted July 8, 2009 Author Share Posted July 8, 2009 and if you are all that and a bag of chips, and could have "given him some pointers" in keeping his wife, as if its his fault, then why did your x-wife cheat? she cheated because of her low moral character! lol!! No, she cheated because I wasn't giving her enough attention. She said that I wasn't really into her and she was right. She wanted too much sex for my liking... in her mind, sex fixed everything. Oh, the irony. Have a good day, sir. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiraling downward Posted July 8, 2009 Author Share Posted July 8, 2009 and if you are all that and a bag of chips, and could have "given him some pointers" in keeping his wife, as if its his fault, then why did your x-wife cheat? btw, I did break up my ex-wifes affair and had her back in the fold until I figured out that I really couldn't stand her. The understanding I have about affairs and human nature probably makes me the worst kind of OM... My MW is also very perceptive and cunning.... that's probably why we hit it off so well. I think we both know what we are getting into.... in a twisted way, that breeds trust. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Wait, wait, wait, So all this cheating and lying and go around each others spouses backs WTF was this all some sick game or competition? You say you know mentally your both screwed up and you have no compunction about her being a cheater and liar herself and your okay with that??? WTF? You know what? ...I'm done! This is one whole big cluseterF! whatever happens to this man he deserves what he gets! steve mcnair repeat anyone!? LMAO. I'm threw with this guy and thread, he thinks it's a joke. And this is the true face of ya'll's deceptive OM/MM. It's a wrap. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused4Now Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Wait, wait, wait, So all this cheating and lying and go around each others spouses backs WTF was this all some sick game or competition? You say you know mentally your both screwed up and you have no compunction about her being a cheater and liar herself and your okay with that??? WTF? You know what? ...I'm done! This is one whole big cluseterF! whatever happens to this man he deserves what he gets! steve mcnair repeat anyone!? LMAO. I'm threw with this guy and thread, he thinks it's a joke. And this is the true face of ya'll's deceptive OM/MM. It's a wrap. And this bothers you now? hhahahahahah that's what this forum is about!!! sheeeesh Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 she cheated because of her low moral character! lol!! you kid here, but the truth is there. No, she cheated because I wasn't giving her enough attention. She said that I wasn't really into her and she was right. She wanted too much sex for my liking... in her mind, sex fixed everything. Oh, the irony. Have a good day, sir. ok, so what pointers would you give MW's husband? Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 btw, I did break up my ex-wifes affair and had her back in the fold until I figured out that I really couldn't stand her. The understanding I have about affairs and human nature probably makes me the worst kind of OM... My MW is also very perceptive and cunning.... that's probably why we hit it off so well. I think we both know what we are getting into.... in a twisted way, that breeds trust. I don't think it breeds trust....I think it just means if either of you cheat, you won't be surprised and won't really give a crap if/when it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Why did it take two failed marriages and you cheating all this time that makes you want to change now? That doesnt make sense. Your relationship is built on deception and lies , are you really clear that it's going to be turned into trust if you cant trust her off the bat??? Can you control your urges and not cheat again, I mean you cheated on both of your wives what makes this woman so different? Are you gonna trade her in when you get your fill in? or are you gonna stick by this one? What makes this one so different? Why change now? Why dont your start fresh and be with a single woman so that way you have a shot of something decent with a decent woman without a whole lot of baggage? As usual, you ADD too many things to the story that are not true. Stay on topic and limit yourself to what's presented...jeez...your bias is always showing....you could at least pretend to be fair. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 As usual, you ADD too many things to the story that are not true. Stay on topic and limit yourself to what's presented...jeez...your bias is always showing....you could at least pretend to be fair. What did chrome add? The guy admitted to cheating in the past and his relationship did start as lies. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 What tami was reffering to was what I said, I got this guy confused with some other poster, my mistake it rarely happens to me, but I reiterate what I said still stands, and all the facts of what this poster said before is true so my thoughts are valid. ....This is insane. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiraling downward Posted July 9, 2009 Author Share Posted July 9, 2009 What did chrome add? The guy admitted to cheating in the past and his relationship did start as lies. I think I'm done here. Things really seem to be moving ahead for MW and I. I am optimistic for our future together. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I think I'm done here. Things really seem to be moving ahead for MW and I. I am optimistic for our future together. Seriously, please post back in six months and then a year. You may actually be helpful to others in a similar position no matter what your outcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiraling downward Posted July 9, 2009 Author Share Posted July 9, 2009 Seriously, please post back in six months and then a year. You may actually be helpful to others in a similar position no matter what your outcome. Understood. I will post again and give an update... even if things fall apart. Link to post Share on other sites
Tsuki no Michi Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Understood. I will post again and give an update... even if things fall apart. FWIW, you have my best wishes. Regardless what some others may think, when two people actually do find true joy in being together it is a blessing. Love is meant to heal, not hurt. If it truly heals you both, then it will ultimately strengthen the bond with your children, even if they do hurt in the short term. TNM Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 FWIW, you have my best wishes. Regardless what some others may think, when two people actually do find true joy in being together it is a blessing. Love is meant to heal, not hurt. If it truly heals you both, then it will ultimately strengthen the bond with your children, even if they do hurt in the short term. TNM Ya cheating on their mom is going to make the kids super duper in the long run Link to post Share on other sites
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