wildfire7698 Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Ugh...... I am so discouraged...... Ok, you all....he stood me up...again. It's not like the average "stand up" but kinda like the same thing. He made plans to come over later in the evening, he made the plans, not me mind you. He was getting off of work at 7pm, going to his parent's house to help his dad winterize some equipment that had to be moved into the barns. He told me that he would be back into town at around 10pm and that he would call and come on over. That was fine with me so I said fine. Well, guess what happens? He doesn't call nor does he show. He never even calls to tell me why he didn't show or if something came up. This is the second time this has happened, and I am fed up. I like him I really do, but if doesn't think enough of me to include me in if he has a change in plans, I don't need that. I am 25 years old, I felt like a total idiot waiting here on him. I haven't had a chance to hear his reason why, but when I do hear it, it better be a dam*ed good one. I left him a message on his machine saying that I wasn't calling his place anymore for now because it seems that lately this relationship has been one sided. I told him that I was not going to chase after him and that if he wants me, to call me. I am tired of being the one to put in all the effort, that is the way I have felt lately. To beat all, all this happened after we had this big heart to heart. He said he was falling for me and thought this could last. I was on top of the world because of all the things he told me. I thought that hey this is going somewhere. How ironic is that??? He works a crappy job, bad shifts, so when he's home I am in university classes and when I am home, he's at work. So schedules couldn't be any worse for us. He goes in at 4pm and works til 1am (or later). There are many times where he doesn't get home til 3 am, he's a comp tech so he can't leave til the last call has been handled, no matter if it's quitting time or not. He doesn't go to bed til 4am usually, so that puts him sleeping most of the next day before work. I understand he was tired....but that night was a treat for us, he actually had a night off for a change. I thought that he might have been just losing interest, but that night we talked about alot of things, I asked him about how he felt about things, I also said that if he didn't feel it anymore to just to tell so I could walk. I gave him a way out, but he assured me that he wanted this and that he was into things as much as he ever was. He said the job drains him, that he has no time to breathe, that he feels like an a**h*** for not getting to see me more but that he is really doing all he ca do. But is that just an excuse? Is he too chicken to be truthful, or could this be the truth? Anyway, the next night after we had this talk is when he "stood" me up, thus the confusion. I just don't get it.... Geeze, I don't know about him or what I am going to do....Have any of you had the pleasure of a guy like this and guys, please tell me why! LOL Seriously, I just feel that he is being inconsiderate and rude, but I have never known him to be like that. HELP!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Daveysgurl Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Personally I think you need to relax. You seem to understand that your man works alot of hard hours, and you claim that your putting in all the effort. I think your trying so hard to keep this because your scared. You really need to communicate with him and let him know how much it hurts you rather than getting angry, You can't feel what he feels, which is a scarey thing in a relationship. Your probably working yourself up just relax you should call and check up on him, show him that you care about him and that your not leaving it to him to maek all the plans. Maybe he wasn't sure if you really wanted to go because you suggested to take a walk, generally that scares guys into thinking that they'll lose you soon, so their commitment begins to dwindle. I know as a woman you want to be taken care of and feel loved but you should ask him if he's getting enough and if theres anything that would make things work better. The work schedules can be worked around, set your alarm clock to be awake when he gets home, to welcome him even if its once a week. Men need to be nourtured, and it sounds like he has a tough job and deals with alot of stressful phonecalls. It might seem like alot , but if you don't feel llike its worth it then maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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