What are the signs???? Are these signs??

[L.Lou]

Thought I'd REwrite my story. This is a "shorter version", my other one is miles long. And believe had very little responses due to it's length. This is most of it summed up, the other post DOES have more back story. I just want some help OR like others, people with similar problems to talk to...Damn I'm a loser now! lol

 

..not sure exactly what signs are.

I already told her I still like her, but aren't gonna pursue her like that,I respect her wanting to be "just friends". But we went out the other night (after I told her that), she was dropping lines like "we did that last time", "we sat there last time", "remember how mad you got when you were driving last time, that was hilarious", old stuff when we were together (which was round a year ago). Playing in my hair and touching my fresh tattoos. Her jumping on my back while playing at the beach, in the water. WAS texting me everyday...but stopped a day ago. So..I didn't text her either (trying not to seem pushy).

So if a chick was showing signs, cause others tell me THOSE ARE GOOD SIGNS (but...I also know better than to assume anything). And they stop, for a day or two...what does that mean? Just friends, or wants more, or confused, or wants more BUT taking it slowly?

If they wanted you back, wouldn't they text you or contact you everyday? (I may just want to believe that though lol)

I'm also trying my best NOT to contact her as much, or ask "certain" questions (referring to me and her..feelings and sh*t lol), which I DID say I have a few other ones, and she was DESPERATE to find out. But today and yesterday, hasn't asked about the questions, hasn't even contacted me.

..oh..and these days she didn't hit me up, she DID work, yes. But only a few hours. But when we used to be together..she USED to LOVE to hit me up while she was working. Also, keep in mind we DON'T talk on the phone like that, just once the other day cause something bad happened to her and she had a bad day, since then it's just been texting..til we hit this "hardly text/talk" to one another spell.

 

 

For one, a few days after, I had decided to take her to a concert (the one she spoke of on the beach/dinner date) that comes here on Jul 22nd, for her b-day (seeing she's gonna be out of town with family during her actual birthday).

 

But upon me REASKING if she took that day off yet, she dropped this on me. I'm not the type to take out someones gf, but it went like this.. So I asked "Are you is talking to anyone like that, cause I don't like to take out someones gf or potential gf" (and a hidden way for me to find out IF she in fact is or not)..She said "No, I'm not. So why couldn't you ask me that a long time ago? And are you doing all of this so we can get back together?"..yeah, dropped that little bomb on me.

I was like "..didn't want to. And no, of course not, you can't "BUY some one back, and YES that was ONE of them". Her reply was "Exactly. But I think everything would be a lot easier if you would just come out and say or ask what you want to know instead of walking around unsure of whats going on". My reply went like this "what do you mean? I already know...we're just friends. I would never try to "buy you back", i mean for one I'm white-ish and you're black...that aint a good look of me "buying" you lol..but nah, I saw asking "the questions" as irrelevant..already know the answers, just...don't wanna hear them".....sooooooo that's where we're at now. I feel as if I held off too much, played too hard to get. But at the same time, I don't wanna screw anything up BEFORE the concert, just for it to be super awkward.

 

I guess my question is. WHAT DO I DO NOW? lol..If she does in fact want me back like that, how do I go about it? Do we HAVE to be in contact EVERYDAY, some way shape or form? Remember how tough this is, this IS an ex who broke up WITH ME btw.

 

Anywho, help me out folks!

[GorillaTheater]

Why did she break up with you and how long ago did it happen?

[L.Lou]

Well..she broke up with me LITERALLY round this time (Jul 3rd) LAST YEAR. Yes..a YEAR ago and I'm NOT FULLY over this one (first time in my life I've been like this).

 

She broke up with me over issues I had THEN. But saying "She just wasn't ready..thought she was, and her trying would be enough...but she just isn't"....IE...I think the "flame" we had went out. I also was supposed to move to another city if Aug OF last year, which ALSO may have played a part. Also, my stupid little insecurities and selfishness messed it up too. We never argued or fought, never cheated, never lied (til I picked smoking back up due to the stress of the last few days of us together). SHE DID do/go everywhere I wanted. When it came to me doing what she wanted...uh uh, I stuck to my little bubble (got WAY too comfortable). SHE DID also tell me when we broke up, that in the future "Absolutely, she wouldn't mind getting back together"..but that WAS BEFORE I did the typical "Sniveling worm fresh ex" text mssgs and phone calls and voice mail barrage.

BUT...around that same time. There was also a dude...who was her friend. Mainly her roomies good friend, but was always over there cause of that. She and him started hanging out more, ultimately..she left me for him. She'd never say that. Cause they officially didn't start "talking" til I was out of the pircture. He was everything I wasn't. The insecurities I had (things I wouldn't do, etc)..he DIDN'T have. Only prob is...he was a douche AND smart, boy did he play his cards right. Remember he and her roomie were around her during the "downhill" process. She vented to them. So he knew what and what not to do. Til the end that is, and she found out his true intentions (that he never did reach btw). Pretty much I was right, but when is a fresh ex's words ever relevent.

 

She cut HIM and another big prob dude out of her life. Cause all they'd do is cause probs down the road..and I mean CUT OFF. Jeweltry pawned, numbers changed, pictures trashed, etc..the whole 9.

[northstar1]

Well..she broke up with me LITERALLY round this time (Jul 3rd) LAST YEAR. Yes..a YEAR ago and I'm NOT FULLY over this one (first time in my life I've been like this).

 

She broke up with me over issues I had THEN. But saying "She just wasn't ready..thought she was, and her trying would be enough...but she just isn't"....IE...I think the "flame" we had went out. I also was supposed to move to another city if Aug OF last year, which ALSO may have played a part. Also, my stupid little insecurities and selfishness messed it up too. We never argued or fought, never cheated, never lied (til I picked smoking back up due to the stress of the last few days of us together). SHE DID do/go everywhere I wanted. When it came to me doing what she wanted...uh uh, I stuck to my little bubble (got WAY too comfortable). SHE DID also tell me when we broke up, that in the future "Absolutely, she wouldn't mind getting back together"..but that WAS BEFORE I did the typical "Sniveling worm fresh ex" text mssgs and phone calls and voice mail barrage.

BUT...around that same time. There was also a dude...who was her friend. Mainly her roomies good friend, but was always over there cause of that. She and him started hanging out more, ultimately..she left me for him. She'd never say that. Cause they officially didn't start "talking" til I was out of the pircture. He was everything I wasn't. The insecurities I had (things I wouldn't do, etc)..he DIDN'T have. Only prob is...he was a douche AND smart, boy did he play his cards right. Remember he and her roomie were around her during the "downhill" process. She vented to them. So he knew what and what not to do. Til the end that is, and she found out his true intentions (that he never did reach btw). Pretty much I was right, but when is a fresh ex's words ever relevent.

 

She cut HIM and another big prob dude out of her life. Cause all they'd do is cause probs down the road..and I mean CUT OFF. Jeweltry pawned, numbers changed, pictures trashed, etc..the whole 9.

 

I'll be honest dude, once the flame goes out, it is rarely ever relit.

 

Continue to move on.

[LisaUk]

Hi, can I ask how old you and your ex are and how long you were together before you split?

 

My guess is she wasn't referring to you BUYING your way back into her affections, rather she was asking if you were (to use an old fashioned word) trying to court her, with all the new attention, concerts etc?

 

My second guess is that she was hoping you would say yes I would like us to date again. The fact that the calls/texts have dropped off since that conversation confirms my guess. It's like she could be thinking "well, he's just not into me anymore, he wants to be friends, so I'll be friends", so she drops the calls/texts off to friends level.

 

Someone else posted that once the flame has gone out, it's gone, this isn't true, love has a pattern and an imprint, once you love someone it is always possible to rekindle that given the right circumstances. (For more info see "Divorce Busting"), that's how marriages can be saved, even those that look hopeless. Of course this depends on how long you were together and whether or not you felt real love or just a strong attraction to someone and how commited you were to that relationship. The most important factor is to address the issues that caused the split in the first place, if you return to a relationship with the same set of problems, you are doomed to fail again. For it to suceed, it has to be different from last time, it can't just be about being together.

 

Re your ex, I am of course guessing about how she feels, I personally don't play games in realtionships, so if I had asked that question, that would of been my motive.

[northernsun]

Honestly, it sounds like she is keeping you on the line and wanting you to say flattering things to inflate her ego...but nothing more. Move on. Put your efforts where they belong...on someone who is really into you.

[L.Lou]

I appreciate all the replies so far.

And to answer LisaUK, I'm 22 shes 21 (turning 22 in a couple of days actually), we were only in that "dating/courting" process, for round 3 months..BUT...we DID connect/move pretty fast (not referring to sex) but intimacy and seriousness. We both had HORRIBLE relationships in the past, and when we got together...we even talked about how we are gonna treat this differently. Getting out a lot (not all) of our disagreements early on, to TRY not to have too many probs in the future. Didn't really work..lol...our pasts still kept playing roles. Us not "moving on" and giving ALL the trust we vowed to when we first started talking. Like I stated, the main reasons (as far as me knowing) was ME not wanting to give my all. (first time I ever screwed up too btw), yes I know everyone in these shoes places the blame on themselves, but we did "mess" up a few times..nothing major. To me, my insecurities, which weren't JUST self conciousness, but also me getting upset over SMALL things dealing with her past (which quite frankly, MINE was more jugemental than hers was), helped put an end to it. But we never disclosed the actual "whys"...

[b10wick]

Honestly, it sounds like she is keeping you on the line and wanting you to say flattering things to inflate her ego...but nothing more. Move on. Put your efforts where they belong...on someone who is really into you.

 

Similar to what I said in your first thread. She just wants to make sure your still swinging from her branch. Time to move on my friend.

 

This may seem harsh, but I'm going to say what I think based off my past experiences.

 

No, you won't receive a second chance. She just wants to make sure she still has you swinging from her branch, so to speak. Trust me, don't ask her the questions. 1) It will let her know your still interested in her and she will have received her answers... 2) The answers you will receive probably won't be what your looking for.

 

Look, I'm in a similar situation.. very similar. Dated this girl for almost 3 years, she left me for a total opposite back in beginning of March..May-June-July she texts me every other week asking to hang out, to make sure I don't "forget about her". She doesn't want to get back together, just wants to make sure I don't forget about her.

 

Like I said, this is based off my experiences, so take it for what it's worth. But I recommend you don't ask her those questions.. Keep playing hard to get- No matter how hard to get it may seem like your playing.

[Island Girl]

Honestly, it sounds like she is keeping you on the line and wanting you to say flattering things to inflate her ego...but nothing more. Move on. Put your efforts where they belong...on someone who is really into you.

 

SHE KNOWS YOU STILL WANT TO BE WITH HER.

 

And I can tell from what she is saying to you that she is pushing buttons to keep YOU stuck but she has NO INTEREST AT ALL in dating you again.

 

She doesn't want you. But she likes your devotion to her - especially since now under the guise of friendship she gets taken to places and treated well by you --- but always has the option of dating other guys.

 

You should have walked when she dumped you. You should have gone NC immediately. And then IF she came back - you'd set the parameters of being back in your life again (i.e. "no, I don't want to be friends. I have enough friends.").

That was your chance at having a possible shot.

 

NOW you have put up with this kind of mind game for far too long and she has zero respect for you.

But you show her attention and she KNOWS she can get an ego boost anytime she wants. Not to mention free concerts, etc.

And at that concert she can even check out other guys - get/give phone numbers, etc.

 

So she has her cake and eats it too.

 

Let's say you have this girl who you find attractive but you do not want her as your girlfriend. You used to date and you got sick of her - but she is hot and she adores you. If you had her on your jock doing whatever you wanted and didn't have to commit - you could do whatever you wanted and you NEVER had to listen to drama or put up with crap - and you could meet and date other girls all the while, would you want that to end?

[L.Lou]

lol...again thanks for the replies.

BUT...no disrespect. But I sense you all are kind of on this feel, like "everyone has a hidden agenda and is out to hurt on purpose"..YES those people exist. But I CAN tell you all this, she is not like that..trust me. Yes those are words coming from a man who wants her back, and DOES (and will) seem like defending her..but...words can't do her justice. Can't do US justice. I'm a great guy, one of those nice ones. Unfortunately one of those ones who people would LOVE to have as a friend. I got things going on in my life, working towards a good career (movies and music) and all. I have "a look" (just to put it plainly). Pretty much, things that TYPICAL suckling people would find as interesting. I have all these people who want to be around me...but....I only wanna be around THIS ONE.

 

 

 

..to answer that. Honestly, YES. I've had that before. AND CUT THOSE SHORT MYSELF. I'm not the type to play with people's feelings..I tell them how I feel upfront (if there's nothing there that is lol). We're BOTH not douches...we cherish friendships WITH PEOPLE WORTH IT. For one, physical attraction to me actually goes perfectly HAND IN HAND with personality. Past experiences and stupid decisions USED to be a big no no with me back when I was SUPER critical. But I give everyone the benefit of the doubt now..NOT FULLY trust, but RESERVE my judgment. Til it's shown. I've grown into a smarter man, smarter than a lot of others. I'm experienced with damn near every walk of life (of girls lol), "types"...diff crowds, scenes, religions, etc..how someone carries themselves and their interests play a big part in attraction (including physical). Everything else is irrelevent. You can usually tell fake when you see it, you can smell BS. At least I can. Prob is, she is A LOT like me. We gaurd ourselves really well...to where US TWO would find it impossible to read one another. Hence...my dillemma.

[Island Girl]

DUDE.

 

I am telling you. I was her A LOT.

 

And I wasn't being fake. I really did like these guys that were so sprung on me.

I LOVED the attention (who wouldn't?).

And I loved that they'd do anything for me.

I loved that I could be myself and feel absolutely safe and secure.

 

BUT I didn't want to date them anymore.

 

Not ever.

 

They had become too nice. They were in the friendzone.

There was never going to be anything romantic ever again. I had lost all respect for them and in truth they had become more of a eunuch or a girlfriend that I could talk to than a MAN that would be a romantic partner.

 

The reminiscing about the table you sat at, and reminders of things that USED to be were pushing buttons on your side. It had you remembering too (obviously) about how it used to be - and YOU still want that. She KNOWS that.

She also KNOWS that SHE DOESN'T which she has confirmed to you over and over now.

 

Why did she do this you ask? "Is it a sign"? YES.

 

It is a sign that she is pushing those buttons that keep you thinking romance while her words say "no - no - not wanting that".

 

Whether she is doing it on purpose or not I can't say. My experience says yes, she does.

But it makes no difference.

 

She doesn't want to date you. And if you keep hanging around you just remove the possibility of getting over her and eventually finding someone new.

 

So I guess all I have to say at the end of all that is enjoy your friendship --- until of course she meets someone she wants to date who lays down the law and says "no more hanging out with Mr. Ex" and you get thrown to the curb.

 

Sorry. You deserve better. But you don't want to see.

It appears you don't want the truth - you only want to be told what you want to hear. And I can't do that.

[L.Lou]

lol...okay.

And no, I DO want to hear OPEN mindedness. I understand some may say "they've been there"...I USED to say the same thing when giving advice. But I look deeper, "Maybe I haven't, and maybe everyone's situation IS IN FACT different from one another". Don't get me wrong, like I said earlier, I reserve judgement. So NO ADVICE (cause I don't know who the people are who give it) will be taken to heart, IT WILL be filed away in my memory, taken note of...kind of a...just in case measure. And I do thank you still!

 

I'll have to give a little about our backgrounds, cause both of us aren't typical people. We BOTH believe sex is shared with people you love, so we don't take part in these FB relations. We're both "relationship people", we're not fans of short termies. SHE'S religious, I'm more "spiritual". We do live by morals. Most of our interests are the same, we rarely take part in certain gatherings. Like nightclubs and bars. Pretty much we both hate to "go with the flow", old souls I believe is the term. I justhad to explain that so no one gets a "typical vibe", and thinks either one of us are out to "f*ck something" lol...we're both good people.

 

NOW...I do agree, that I MAY be in the friendzone. I'm almost certain. I mean, I think you guys are also under the impression that she KNOWS HOW MUCH I like her. When I told her, I told her in an "Oh well" type of fasion. WE DON'T speak everyday, like they'll be 2-3 days we won't talk at all.

I believe though, those fewdays we hung out (talk on the phone, her place, the beach, dinner) she DID feel something. And maybe I still played too hard to get, cause I know I played that card..lol. My plan is this, a week and a half after the concert, I'm gonna take her to a "make it or break it" date, could be the first or last. Get it all out, not pleading desperate get it all out. But lets talk unfinished business. If she aint hearing it.....what can I do. CUT HER OFF, not tell her either..she'll just see the no replies...and get the hint. Kind of cold sounding...but to keep her as a friend, is only hurting myself.

 

Sound good????

[Island Girl]

Now you sound like you have your head in the game.

 

Good plan.

 

If you need to get it all out there in order to walk away then go for it.

 

Be prepared for the answer either way and commit to it for yourself.

 

If you don't get the answer you are looking for then you must walk for your own future happiness.

You can't be a yo-yo anymore.

 

If she does tell you she wants to try again - then you have your chance to make it.

 

I wish you the best and thank you for taking the post in the spirit it was intended.

[L.Lou]

No I thank you (all) for actually posting replies. And sharing opinions.

I'm sorry that I didn't explain well enough....and was misunderstood. But it's cool.

And yeah, I do have to prepare for the answers....which the preparation itself SUCKS. lol

I'll keep the ones interested on the outcome posted...

[Island Girl]

No I thank you (all) for actually posting replies. And sharing opinions.

I'm sorry that I didn't explain well enough....and was misunderstood. But it's cool.

And yeah, I do have to prepare for the answers....which the preparation itself SUCKS. lol

I'll keep the ones interested on the outcome posted...

 

 

Please do. I hope you get the answer that is BEST for you.

[L.Lou]

Okay..UPDATE TIME

 

So I took her to the concert the other day, we had a blast! SHE enjoyed it more than I of course. It was her birthday present from me. I was WAAAY more open/less timid than I was when we used to date. She seen that. She asked people to take pics of us..and me being me (an ex bf) DID not grab her pull her close for the pics...she told me "You need to get in closer", so I put my arm around her,and we took the pics. It felt so right....but (yes, there's still a but)...I dunno.

 

So we snuck to a lower level to have a better view, yes..again, I was less uptight. Like the me when we dated wouldn't want to take damn near any risks, but...like I said it's been a year..and I grew A LOT since. ANywho...I had to fight the urges of wanting to dance with her and hold her like ALL the couples who surrounded us (literally) were doing. The band will play certain songs..lol..that made it VERY awkward for me, but I played it off for the most part..Songs about heartbreak and being close to having nothing ("What Hurts the most", Jackson5 I want you back, Hootie and Blowfish I wanna hold your hand, etc etc..) but I'm sure she noticed me looking to the side, trying not to really pay attention/not have my face in her view...like when I tried to play it off and vibe to the songs, SHE was the one looking down. I'll ask what's wron, she'll say "i'm just cold" and smile at me. Pretty much..we both knew some of these songs were awkward..and FELT awkward. I'll catch her snapping pics of me when I wasn't looking, and she'll laugh when I catch her. She'll play in my hair (it's long btw) then run her fingertips on my back, now dropping the "babes" and the "Babys" again....it all felt too familiar.

 

The night ended, she threw her arms around me, a strong hug and thanked me for her bday gift. Drove her home, traffic sucked. On the drive I couldn't help but to feel super down. Like...more feelings rushed back, but can't help to think she STILL doesn't want me "like that". Dropped her off, she thanked me again (third time). When I got home she texted me, and told me thank you for the fourth time "Thank you again. You have no idea how happy that made me"....now...it's been two days since...haven't heard a peep from her. And of course I haven't hit her up as well...

 

...any thoughts?? or any kind of feedback people...doesn't ALWAYS have to be "advice"..lets talk lol

[Island Girl]

The feeling of being down after the concert was due to the fact that your brain knows those "baby" and "babe" remarks were button pushers - not sincere.

 

You also know she didn't make any romantic moves and everything that happened could be taken as friend behavior OR if you "buy in" you could read something into it.

 

I am so glad you are NOT reading anything into it.

And I am so impressed you have not contacted her.

 

This was supposed to be "IT" remember? As in you see a clear signal that she wants to be back together or it is "Sayonara Sweetheart" and you MOVE ON.

 

That IS still the plan, right?

[L.Lou]

No, THIS wasn't the plan..it was the start of it.

 

The plan of the "getting everything on the table" is soon...not TOO soon to make it look as if I expected her to take me back right after taking her to a concert.

 

Remember, when me and her went to the beach that one time..those "babes and baby's" were dropped then too. And I've seen how she is with other dudes, she don't drop em like that..but then again, as far as I see..plus you never really know. She really isn't one of those girls who would push buttons LESS she likes you, which I know cause she used to do certain things when we were comitted. She's honestly a true blue good person...almost too nice, cause it usually F's her over to the people she helps.

 

BUT ANYWHO..the plan was a "make it or break it talk/date". The concert ended late, and we were both too exhausted to stay awake longer. But, I plan on taking her out to dinner, wearing the dress I bought her for her birthday LAST YEAR (which she told me on the beach date...that she STILL has never worn out)...like, I'm gonna flatout request she wears it. And maybe write out a letter, and give it to her and/or get into a whole HONESTY convo..get it all out there. How SHE feels, how I feel, what happened and WHY, who we both are now, what we both are lookig for, etc..that is really all WE (referring to all of us on this site as well) can do. And lets say she DOES in fact have feelings like for me, but tells me otherwise...that'll then be her problem. Cause I'm giving the ultimate chance to open up our hearts and souls..and if you can't respect me doing just that...then ay..I'm gone..I can't be strung along...cause not even knowing if I'll ever be more, hurts. And for some reason..even if she says "yeah, you are STILL my type..so much now than ever and yes..I can see us together in the future"...would I believe it? Or would she just be telling me something like that so I can feel some sort of comfort, pretty much tell me what I wanna hear. Which may be a problem I have..who knows..

 

..so yeah, I don't ever look into it as being anything (all the so called hints), even if they're thrown out there. Cause...you really never know

[N.Colony]

Either she is playing hard to get, or she isn't into you anymore. I'll pick the latter guess. Cut your losses and move on. No wussy behavior. Don't contact her. If she does, ignore her calls for a while; but don't ignore to the point she thinks you have grudge. If she persists, keep the conversations brief and to the point. Don't be her shoulder for her a bad days. If she wants you, she'll let you know.

 

Start dating other ladies immediately.

[L.Lou]

I can understand. But I also will say this....she WILL NOT tell me, I know how she is. She's KNOWN to not show OR TELL how she feels...I couldn't stress that enough.

 

Yeah, I don't put out any wussy behavior. As far as I'm concerned...I put out that I TOO am nothing but a friend...yes, not good I know. For instance, when we went to the concert she asked people to take pictures of us...and I was soooo not comfortable, lol, she seen it too..my hands all in my pockets and crap, she was like "You need to move in babe to get in the pic" so I put my arms round her and they took the picture. It's like I'm in a corner that I can't do/say certain things. It's pretty awkward when we see certain movies on tv or hear songs when we're together. If there was a hidden camera present...the looks we'de have would be hilarious.

 

Oh and trust me..lol..I've tried dating, but dude...literally, when I say she was THE BEST, MY TYPE to a T...is an understatement. It's like everyone I find/finds me, is always soooo many steps behind her. That aint just me saying it cause she's who I want back. Pretty much, we had TOO many things in common..weird things at that. I dunno, sometimes I wish cameras followed me through this relationship...so people could SEE how things could/should be..and how things can mess up....QUICK. It sucks

[N.Colony]

Man oh man, you got it bad. The real problem here is that you can't use logic to win a woman, or talk her into wanting to be with you.

 

All I can say is talk to her and ask her what is the deal (in a cool way)? If a negative response bothers you, then maybe you want to hold out. Who knows, there may be someone better. Maybe you need sometime to find her.

[L.Lou]

Yeah, I have close friends who know how it all went. And THEY say the situation leaves THEM heartbroken, and scared of love. Everyone knows those certain people who deserve happiness cause of an over abundance of UNhappiness, but at the same time those people don't let that get to them (as far as whats shown) TO NOT bring others down. Me and her, are those people. The ones who used to say to ourselves all the time that "we'll never find the right people for us, cause of how complicated we think"....well we found each other. And it worked...TIL.

 

But yeah man, it's like I can't use it because FOR ONE..don't know if she's wanting me to use it or not...or would ever be open to even trying. AND ME, not knowing how she's feeling...keeps me NOT TRYING hard enough or not at all. It's like when you first start dating someone...you know you're both attracted to one another and ARE working on building more, of course on that friend level at first..but you both KNOW, and WANT to work on that....so YALL WORK..lol..

 

I'm in a corner where I don't know if I should, or will look foolish to even try yannow. But yeah, that's what I plan to do..and I always keep things cool as it is. If I look too bothered, first off she'll know and second it could turn her off to not even wanting to talk about it.

 

And yeah, I may MAY find someone better or she may find me. The horrible part about that is I DO think will take TIME....MAJOR time. If that's the case of course

[selena_cat]

hey Lou,I have something that may help you

Keep your options open,u want to be morethan friends, than dont show her that your life revolves around her,show her as much attention as one of yoru friends,

i read that in a post for Laws of intention,its really good.

You wouldnt obsess about your friends,always available at a moments notice,

she knows you want her,you can always be there,but i really suggest,no romantic like dates,concerts,etc. Obviously what happened when you took her out to the last concert or whatever it was-she just thanked you,

look,if iw as into a guy i'd linger on,look in his eyes so he can kiss me,

not speaking for every woman but we will let you know when we want you to kiss us,not just thankyou 5 milliion times! thats what i'd do to someone who i just see as a friend

I really suggest not to overextend yourself like you did for this girl,

hope that helps a bit

[L.Lou]

See that's the thing, I DON'T make myself ALWAYS available. Me taking her out on these occasions were JUST occasions (birthday gift, and when she was down in the dumps)..other than those less than a handful of times, we haven't really hung out like that. It's just how it seems on those time that we do...

 

But yeah, thanks Selena. I'll look into that Laws of Intention thing. Sounds helpful.

[L.Lou]

UPdate time:

 

I seen her status on a social networking site (see how I'm not trying to reveal anything lol). Said she was anxious, so I texted her "What's wrong witcha? You okay?"..she said yeah she's fine but just got back from a lunch date with a chick, who is "playing matchmaker" and she's the lab rat. Which of course hit me hard to read that..like I was feeling like "Damn, you're having a day date with a guys good friend to see seem worthy enough to the bestfriend to date the guy OR the lady had someone in mind..BUT you have a perfect guy for you right here!..but you only keep me at arms distance"...anywho..

 

I told her that we have to talk. She asked about what. I OF COURSE not say anything til we actually get to sit down and talk. It's not gonna be a pleading of "Lets get back together"..more of a "balls out" convo. I'm talking about it ALL...the "why's and why nots", "what wrong WITH ME, like what keeps YOU and maybe others from being with me", etc etc etc..but, not knowing was driving her crazy. We've been trying to set up a time this whole week to meet up, both of us have been preoccupied thus far.

 

She asked me to meet up the other day, which I couldn't. THEN again asked what it is I have to talk to her about, and started guessing. "Is it about us getting back together?"...i replied, "Dude! Stop guessing! lol" , she replied with "You know that's not gonna happen, so you might as well just tell me!"..which scared me at first, then realized she replied back about her stopping the guessing..which i replied "You'll stop the guessing, you did a few months ago about the questions remember...you'll be okay..we'll talk when we talk :)"

 

Yesterday she said when she's available to meet up, again...couldn't work, cause she said she had something to do in an hour, hair. She hit me up afterwards seeing if I was still available..I wasn't. So..now today..a buddy of mine, who is ALSO cool with her. Texted me saying why was she asking him what I wanted to talk to her about. He of course told her he didn't know..which left her disappointed. BUT..he told me what she texted. She asked him "Do you know what he wants to talk to me about?", he told her "no..he didn't tell me anything"...she says "Does he still like me?"..he replies with a "Yes, but still doesn't know if that what he wants to talk about..he didn't tell me anything".

 

Okay...now, that there (the friend slipping up and talking)..could've REALLY messed things up..OR..could've bettered em, who knows. he said seeing it was texts, he wasn't able to catch emotion or attitude..so, he doesn't know. But he did tell me, he "doesn't think she's ready to get back with you". This may end messy...but I feel the "end is near" lol..but I dunno people...

 

What do yall think?