Jersey Shortie Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 they have to be better. I don't give up. I gave her my word "Until death do we part and I meant it. BTW, when I first brought this up, we had only been dating for a couple of months. Glad to see that now "in sickness in health" also can mean "in threesomes or in no threesomes". Link to post Share on other sites
stuckinoz Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 You keep calling this a "Lie"...I don't think that many of us are in agreement with you that it is an actual lie. I see that. But what would you call it? I call it you overreacting to something that is really minor in the big picture of life, love & marriage. My opinion - I think you're being selfish & unreasonable about Sex....of all things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ppeterson Posted July 8, 2009 Author Share Posted July 8, 2009 Glad to see that now "in sickness in health" also can mean "in threesomes or in no threesomes". We weren't married when we had this discussion. We did not get married until several years afterwards. My goodness please read the thread before delivering your comments Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ppeterson Posted July 8, 2009 Author Share Posted July 8, 2009 We weren't married when we had this discussion. We did not get married until several years afterwards. My goodness please read the thread before delivering your comments Let's just end this topic so we can all go on with our lives. Link to post Share on other sites
KAP84 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 i think that she was being stubborn bc she lied to you so she wouldn't lose you. she should've been upfront and told you from the beginning how she felt about the threesome. You told her what you wanted and she should've done the same. AT least you know everything was based on honesty. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 That's the only reason you want a divorce, is because she lied to you about wanting to have a threesome!?!? Seriously WTF!!! Seriously, Chrome...where are you getting your facts? You make up stories as you go along? this is what OP said: and I’m not going to leave her . __________________________________________________________________ I think OP also said that because of him being honest to her about the threesome and the subsequent lie by his wife...she had been burdened by it and couldn't be more adventurous about their sex life- ....she continually has pointed to this incident as the reason for why she's reserved with me. She constantly brings up the fact that because I asked her for this (and she agreed), that this is the reason why she doesn't want to be more adventurous, or open... So I think he feels he got robbed of what could have been potentially more beautiful and exciting moments...even...if it was not a threesome. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 We weren't married when we had this discussion. We did not get married until several years afterwards. My goodness please read the thread before delivering your comments I kind of fail to see what that matters. Once your married, you are married. Regardless of conversation you had before marraige. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Damn Tami, why are you on my jock?!? Hop-Off please!!! I dont need you of all people to correct me. Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Once your married, you are married. Regardless of conversation you had before marraige. Riiiiight. Everything you agree to before marriage is immediately off the table once the vows are exchanged. (JS, you don't really believe that, do you??? ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ppeterson Posted July 9, 2009 Author Share Posted July 9, 2009 I think OP also said that because of him being honest to her about the threesome and the subsequent lie by his wife...she had been burdened by it and couldn't be more adventurous about their sex life- YES So I think he feels he got robbed of what could have been potentially more beautiful and exciting moments...even...if it was not a threesome. YES Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ppeterson Posted July 9, 2009 Author Share Posted July 9, 2009 I kind of fail to see what that matters. Once your married, you are married. Regardless of conversation you had before marraige. Ever hear of a prenup? What about if you decided you didn't want kids? Or if you never wanted to move away from the ocean? If you discuss this stuff before you get married, and come to a consensus where everyone agrees, marriage shouldn't change that. You're supposed to honor your word. If that's the case then your vows would mean nothing later on if you decided that they no longer suited your current situation. Please lighten up on the grumpiness and sarcasm. If you are really out here to help people, maybe you should try a spoonful of sugar. I came out here for advice/constructive criticism. If you truly have something helpful to say, simply say it. Please lose the attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
HsMomma Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I think OP also said that because of him being honest to her about the threesome and the subsequent lie by his wife...she had been burdened by it and couldn't be more adventurous about their sex life- YES So I think he feels he got robbed of what could have been potentially more beautiful and exciting moments...even...if it was not a threesome. YES OP, I've read the thread & I have only one thought... I understand how you can be upset by something that she agreed to then later backed away from; however, can you understand that it's possible that she may have simply grown beyond needing to agree to something you wanted then? You say you've moved beyond wanting the threesome - I ask if you can move beyond her first saying yes, then saying no. I know in my life, something that seemed like an ok idea at first later changed into an "I don't THINK so" kinda thing...it's called growing up & growing more comfortable in your one-on-one relationship & wanting to keep that comfort between the two of you. This is, of course, just my oh-so-humble opinion, but please think about it... Link to post Share on other sites
stuckinoz Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 If it no longer matters to you whether you have one or not (so you say) & you have decided to grant her your forgiveness - - then why are you still obsessing about it? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I have had been involved in plenty of threesomes. I can also tell you that most men fantasies about them and/or request them at some point in their lives. They wasn't FMF , which is them and two girls. They dont want any other guys there. Getting an attractive single woman to join a couple is not easy to find. At all. Usually The couple has to be very attractive and know lots of different kinds of people. I'm going somewhere with this. To any woman whose partner wants a threesome: Tell him fine. Find us a beautiful single woman who wants to service us both. Put it on him. Many guys just expect the wife to just bring one on home for him. As though all of her girlfriends are just dying to have sex with them.Good luck with that buddy. I'm betting poster's wife thought just this when she told she might consider it. I'm betting poster still fantasizes about a threesome but has come to realize it isnt going to happen, his time has passed. Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Guess I lucked out, 2sure. It was my gf's suggestion and she brought the other woman to the party. Still, the fantasy is better than the reality. It just wasn't all that hot. Link to post Share on other sites
confusedinkansas Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I have had been involved in plenty of threesomes. I can also tell you that most men fantasies about them and/or request them at some point in their lives. They wasn't FMF , which is them and two girls. They dont want any other guys there. Getting an attractive single woman to join a couple is not easy to find. At all. Usually The couple has to be very attractive and know lots of different kinds of people. I'm going somewhere with this. To any woman whose partner wants a threesome: Tell him fine. Find us a beautiful single woman who wants to service us both. Put it on him. Many guys just expect the wife to just bring one on home for him. As though all of her girlfriends are just dying to have sex with them.Good luck with that buddy. I'm betting poster's wife thought just this when she told she might consider it. I'm betting poster still fantasizes about a threesome but has come to realize it isnt going to happen, his time has passed. Hey that's a good point - Peterson....Why didn't you take the bull by the horns when she agreed in the beginning & find yourself some nice hottie to hook up with the two of you? What did you wait so long for? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Guess I lucked out, 2sure. It was my gf's suggestion and she brought the other woman to the party. Still, the fantasy is better than the reality. It just wasn't all that hot. Good for you. I guess my H hit the jackpot. But it isnt for everyone, and yes the fantasy always beats reality. Well, a lot of times. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I have had been involved in plenty of threesomes. I can also tell you that most men fantasies about them and/or request them at some point in their lives. They wasn't FMF , which is them and two girls. They dont want any other guys there. Of course they don't . But of course they expect women to be all smiles and sweetness when he makes such a request. I think if any man wants a threesome with his wife/gf then his wife/gf gets to have a threesome with him and another man. I doubt most men would be as willing to do a threesome if he knew his partner wanted to get it on with another man other then him. Link to post Share on other sites
HsMomma Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Of course they don't . But of course they expect women to be all smiles and sweetness when he makes such a request. I think if any man wants a threesome with his wife/gf then his wife/gf gets to have a threesome with him and another man. I doubt most men would be as willing to do a threesome if he knew his partner wanted to get it on with another man other then him. I agree completely, Jersey! Turning those particular tables tends to be a bit more distateful, I'd think! Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I think if any man wants a threesome with his wife/gf then his wife/gf gets to have a threesome with him and another man. I doubt most men would be as willing to do a threesome if he knew his partner wanted to get it on with another man other then him. Been there, done that too. And yes, it was MY suggestion (and I'm 100% hetero.) I wanted to please her. In the end, after the deed was done, she agreed that it didn't measure up to the fantasy either. Link to post Share on other sites
stuckinoz Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 In the end, after the deed was done, she agreed that it didn't measure up to the fantasy either. How true - Isn't this why they are called FANTASIES......Not the same when you play them out in real life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ppeterson Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 If it no longer matters to you whether you have one or not (so you say) & you have decided to grant her your forgiveness - - then why are you still obsessing about it? I'm not. I'm venting about the fact that I took a breath and forgave her from the bottom of my heart, but did not hold this over her like she has held things over my head. I could have been petty and brought it up for years to come. However, I did the right thing and dropped it. However, doing the right this is not always easy. Nor does it make us feel good or vindicate us. And that's why I'm out here. I'm just try to exercise the whole thing without bringing it up to her again. This will help me get it out of my system (the frustration), and consequently out of our relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ppeterson Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 I think if any man wants a threesome with his wife/gf then his wife/gf gets to have a threesome with him and another man. I doubt most men would be as willing to do a threesome if he knew his partner wanted to get it on with another man other then him. I offered that to her as well in case she didn't feel comfortable with another woman. She said no to that as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ppeterson Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 Hey that's a good point - Peterson....Why didn't you take the bull by the horns when she agreed in the beginning & find yourself some nice hottie to hook up with the two of you? What did you wait so long for? I tried to find someone. I suggested a couple of different individuals. I even found a few who were willing to do it. She always has some reason why she didn't like them. Which was fair enough. I didn't figure it to be a stalling tactic. Looking back I should have seen it, but you only really see what you want to I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Hey, you know, we all lie. That aside: In all likelihood the threesome was never going to happen anyway and she knew it. So, although she didnt think it would ever really interest her she didnt feel like it was a potential deal breaker. Because every guy has this fantasy and we hear it all the time. But thats where it stays. Why are you no longer interested in having a threesome? No Kidding!!! EVERY guy has the fantasy, and we hear it ALL the time! I have never had one, because it's just been too difficult to find the perfect other man, you know? Link to post Share on other sites
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