Lovelymisa Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 We’ve been together for 2 years but recently I had to move back to my country to finish my studies…we are an ocean apart and he calls me every single day, as well as sends me emails regularly and we webcam chat with each other as well. All I do is study, work and go home…I am just focused on finishing everything fast so I can be back with my bf again. I know it’s unrealistic to expect him to be home every single day right after work and talk to me for hours (although he does most days) but I am having trouble dealing with him going out with his friends when he does go out. I find myself worrying I might lose him, or he’ll meet another girl and leave me, or he’ll lose interest in me eventually for no reason. He is a very social guy and when he goes out, it is usually with his guy friends and their girlfriends. He told me if I was with him of course he would bring me along too, but I cant expect him to just stay home and wait for me until I come back. He needs to live his life as well. That makes total sense right? This past week he went to a friend’s house and they had a bbq..there were 3 girls there, all of whom came with their boyfriends who were friends of my bf. He took pictures with his iphone and showed them to me…one girl had a perfect body and i felt a stab of jealousy in me. I am jealous that although these girls came with their bf, they got to see my bf walking, talking, smiling and having fun…and i couldn’t cus i’m so far away. Also seeing these girls with their perfect bodies and pretty faces makes me so insecure that my bf might think that they are hot and that he can get a better girl like that instead of being with me. I told my bf that i thought one of the girl has a hot body…and he told me ” don’t worry, i saw her in a bikini and your body is 10 times better” that made me so jealous cus i realized that besides just attending the bbq…the house had a pool and it was also a pool party…in which he was swimming and these 3 girls were in bikinis in front of him..granted they already had bf and i’m sure my bf would never cheat on me… Yet i cant seem to shake the feeling of anxiousness out of my system…can you please advice me on how to get over this rediculous feeling? Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 We’ve been together for 2 years but recently I had to move back to my country to finish my studies…we are an ocean apart and he calls me every single day, as well as sends me emails regularly and we webcam chat with each other as well. All I do is study, work and go home…I am just focused on finishing everything fast so I can be back with my bf again. I know it’s unrealistic to expect him to be home every single day right after work and talk to me for hours (although he does most days) but I am having trouble dealing with him going out with his friends when he does go out. I find myself worrying I might lose him, or he’ll meet another girl and leave me, or he’ll lose interest in me eventually for no reason. He is a very social guy and when he goes out, it is usually with his guy friends and their girlfriends. He told me if I was with him of course he would bring me along too, but I cant expect him to just stay home and wait for me until I come back. He needs to live his life as well. That makes total sense right? This past week he went to a friend’s house and they had a bbq..there were 3 girls there, all of whom came with their boyfriends who were friends of my bf. He took pictures with his iphone and showed them to me…one girl had a perfect body and i felt a stab of jealousy in me. I am jealous that although these girls came with their bf, they got to see my bf walking, talking, smiling and having fun…and i couldn’t cus i’m so far away. Also seeing these girls with their perfect bodies and pretty faces makes me so insecure that my bf might think that they are hot and that he can get a better girl like that instead of being with me. I told my bf that i thought one of the girl has a hot body…and he told me ” don’t worry, i saw her in a bikini and your body is 10 times better” that made me so jealous cus i realized that besides just attending the bbq…the house had a pool and it was also a pool party…in which he was swimming and these 3 girls were in bikinis in front of him..granted they already had bf and i’m sure my bf would never cheat on me… Yet i cant seem to shake the feeling of anxiousness out of my system…can you please advice me on how to get over this rediculous feeling? What you have here, is an opportunity to grow and mature as a person. From what I can tell, your insecurities are all unfounded. Your boyfriend makes time for you every day, and he doesn't make comments about other women. There are some girls here who only hear from their bf's once or twice a wek. There are some women who don't get the luxury of webcam and internet use. If your boyfriend was trully going to find another girl, believe me honey; you being there wouldn't stop it from taking place. Put it this way : your boyfriend isn't there with you, are you looking at other guys? drooling over their hot bodies? Are you ready to leave your boyfriend because he isn't there with you right now? EXACTLY. It's not different for him. If people are going to stray, there is nothing you can do to stop it, thankfully your boyfriend sounds very comitted and loving. You have a great guy, so embrace this opportunity to mature and become less selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
JaydaLeah Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I think your bf is really sweet to say that ur body is 10 times hotter than hers. Coz' if he really feels that you are inferior, he would have "nah, it wasnt really that great" or simply, not comment much. Im sure he meant it. Got to give him credit for trying to make u feel secure, babe. A simple rule for LDR - just try not to think too much beyond what you can't control. Instead, look at what he is doing for u and how you can do ur best to keep it going. There is no guarantee for the future. Even couples who see each other all the time end up breaking. Communication is impt so do share your thoughts, not with envy or wrath, but with love. All the best! Link to post Share on other sites
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