Isolde Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Even so, those guys have all they want, so she has to go for more underdogs, or she has to start approaching more guys. Your rhetoric makes no sense. Why would a woman pursue an underdog, and/or someone who thinks he's an underdog? Yes, perhaps, try to be openminded where attraction is concerned, but that doesn't mean dating people who are so down on themselves that they don't inspire respect! Less attractive guys who get women, they THINK they are attractive. They certainly do NOT think they are underdogs. Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 See, I think women under 25 are still facinated by the fact that they can get men to do whatever they want, just because of this mystical power between their legs. Quoted for hilarious truth. Under 25-year-old girls are a pain in the a$s most of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Quoted for hilarious truth. Under 25-year-old girls are a pain in the a$s most of the time. Are you trying to make me cry kizik? Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Shoot, I didn't mean you and you knew it. Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I think it's a dangerous, negative path to assume everyone who is hot or successful or attractive or whatever is taken. As carhill said, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And why speculate on all men over 25 (which includes millions if not billions of people) and whether or not they're all taken? It doesn't make any sense to me. You have no way of knowing, and it's cynical thinking, anyway. Anyone who has their eyes open wide enough can meet someone. It just means, for women, being receptive. Receptive to smiles, flirtations, and invitations. Seriously. If you're not meeting good/attractive/hot guys, maybe you're not open enough. A bit too guarded or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Shoot, I didn't mean you and you knew it. Yeah, I know. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I'm not going to lower my standards and go for men I don't find attractive. I'm really not comfortable coming on to men. Whenever I've made the first move it fails miserably. I also don't handle rejection well (never have). There's got to be another way! Theres is no other way, either you put yourself out there more often by getting over your fear of rejection, or you stay alone and keep posting about it here. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 What percentage of desirable men over 25 are single? It is true that all the good ones are taken. The older you get the worse it is. All you get are a bunch of losers. You get sleaze boy, impotent dude, dirt broke pal, sex hang ups guy, dull and boring Sam, etc. You are not going to find a "catch" that is single and available. Not in this world. Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 It is true that all the good ones are taken. The older you get the worse it is. All you get are a bunch of losers. You get sleaze boy, impotent dude, dirt broke pal, sex hang ups guy, dull and boring Sam, etc. You are not going to find a "catch" that is single and available. Not in this world. i can understand where you're coming from, but it still isn't necessarily true that all the good ones are taken; and it definitely isn't the best attitude when putting yourself out there. if anything it's mostly a numbers game, a dash of effort and a bit of luck. whilst, yes, bad experiences leave people jaded somewhat as they get older, but IME i've met far more winners than losers as i've gotten older. remember, lots of young relationships end for a variety of reasons and these new-found singletons (who are not "losers") are definitely out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 these new-found singletons (who are not "losers") are definitely out there. That's the only redemption they might get. Like parking spots, all the good ones are taken. But same as parking spots, you can get a vacant one "immediately" after someone leaves. Otherwise someone else is going to take it. Other than that, tough luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 whilst, yes, bad experiences leave people jaded somewhat as they get older, but IME i've met far more winners than losers as i've gotten older. remember, lots of young relationships end for a variety of reasons and these new-found singletons (who are not "losers") are definitely out there.Yes, this is what I've found. Looking back at the last couple years of dating since my own divorce, most were either divorced or out of an LTR, within a year or two themselves. Just watch carefully for deeply embedded bitterness and cynicism. For that matter, the men who were divorced were less cynical than some of the single ones. Self-fulfilling prophesy. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 That's the only redemption they might get. Like parking spots, all the good ones are taken. But same as parking spots, you can get a vacant one "immediately" after someone leaves. Otherwise someone else is going to take it. Other than that, tough luck. Thats right, and you have to do ALOT of driving around the parking lot to find these spaces that opened up. You cant just sit on the side, waiting for someone to tell you where they are. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I've had the experience of sitting in this chair (meaning same house with same view) for 10 years as a single person and nearly 10 years as a married person, soon to be single again. The view from my window now is less frustrated and cynical than is was a decade ago. So, depending on what one does with the lemons life sends, one has differing flavors of lemonade. If I meet a woman my age in the future with the same perspective, bonus Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 the men who were divorced were less cynical than some of the single ones. Oh, good point. The recently available ones might have a ton of baggage and bitterness. Or you might get into a rebound if they are not over the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Like parking spots, all the good ones are taken. Or handicapped. But same as parking spots, you can get a vacant one "immediately" after someone leaves. Otherwise someone else is going to take it. Other than that, tough luck. Timing really is everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Epsilon Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Try being a single guy who's 25... it feels like all the decent, smart, interesting girls are taken/gone Then again I'm too damn shy. I'm like a parking spot that nobody can find, lol Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 It is true that all the good ones are taken. You are not going to find a "catch" that is single and available. Have you ever thought that perhaps your attitude is self-defeating? I consider myself an available, mature 25-year-old catch. If no one else sees it that way, so be it. I have enough projects and ambition that this little problem just doesn't matter. If meeting someone will happen, it'll happen. I will keep my eyes open, keep smiling, and hopefully some chick one day will be doing the same. We'll meet, and the rest will be history. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 You are not going to find a "catch" that is single and available. Not in this world. Ariadne, you're single, aren't you? Are you saying you're not a catch? Again, you can be single and available and still be a catch. It's all about timing... Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I just discovered another guy I was potentially interested in is married. That means I don't know any halfway decent guy who is single. Lately every time I like a guy I find out he has a girlfriend or he's married! It's so frustrating. I think this was less common when I was younger and men weren't as tied up. What percentage of desirable men over 25 are single? I get the feeling it's less than twenty percent. And how do you show interest in a guy if there's a high chance he's taken? I don't want to flirt with somebody who might be taken and end up looking like a fool. It depends where you live...most NYC guys aren't married by 25. It's a small % here, although I have to say, I don't find many of them desriable. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I'm 25, single, decent. If you think about and talk about how there are no good men left, that's exactly what you'll find. Perception is everything, and yours is cynical, defeatist. Nothing is more irritating than women asking where all the nice guys are, and we nice guys just have to sit around and listen to this stuff and roll our eyes. but there are more to people's wants than just a "nice" person. MOST people are nice...I want something more than just nice. Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Yeah, I understand that. Nice means nothing in itself. I'm using it as a term meaning, "not the usual douchebag you date." Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Anyone claiming "all the good ones are taken", or something along those lines, either: 1. Isn't putting themself out there. 2. Isn't a catch themself. 3. Has standards that are too high given who they are. Or a combination of the 3. There are roughly the same number of men and women on Earth and in this country. Among the single men and women, some are losers, some are fantastic catches, and some are in between. It can't possibly be the case that men 25+ are only either taken or damaged goods and yet, somehow, women remain gems throughout their lives. It's not realistic. Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 anyone claiming "all the good ones are taken", or something along those lines, either: 1. Isn't putting themself out there. 2. Isn't a catch themself. 3. Has standards that are too high given who they are. Or a combination of the 3. There are roughly the same number of men and women on earth and in this country. Among the single men and women, some are losers, some are fantastic catches, and some are in between. It can't possibly be the case that men 25+ are only either taken or damaged goods and yet, somehow, women remain gems throughout their lives. It's not realistic. qft................................ Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Anyone claiming "all the good ones are taken", or something along those lines, either: 1. Isn't putting themself out there. 2. Isn't a catch themself. 3. Has standards that are too high given who they are. Or a combination of the 3. I totally agree. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 It is true that all the good ones are taken. The older you get the worse it is. All you get are a bunch of losers. You get sleaze boy, impotent dude, dirt broke pal, sex hang ups guy, dull and boring Sam, etc. You are not going to find a "catch" that is single and available. Not in this world. Well "catch" is a relative term...I mean what I find to be a "catch" someone else may not...and vice versa. I would consider myself to be a "catch" and I'm single. It's about timing and the peopel you are meeting. I meet lousy men, that's why I'm single...NOT b/c I'm a loser or anything...b/c I am far from that. Link to post Share on other sites
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