Trialbyfire Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Anyone claiming "all the good ones are taken", or something along those lines, either: 1. Isn't putting themself out there. 2. Isn't a catch themself. 3. Has standards that are too high given who they are. Or a combination of the 3. There are roughly the same number of men and women on Earth and in this country. Among the single men and women, some are losers, some are fantastic catches, and some are in between.I fully agree, up to here. It can't possibly be the case that men 25+ are only either taken or damaged goods and yet, somehow, women remain gems throughout their lives. It's not realistic.I think this is applicable to both genders. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I think this is applicable to both genders. Absolutely. I just posted it that way because of the context of the thread. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 It is true that all the good ones are taken. The older you get the worse it is. All you get are a bunch of losers. You get sleaze boy, impotent dude, dirt broke pal, sex hang ups guy, dull and boring Sam, etc. You are not going to find a "catch" that is single and available. Not in this world. I like this Ariadne much better than lunatic Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Anyone claiming "all the good ones are taken", or something along those lines, either: 1. Isn't putting themself out there. 2. Isn't a catch themself. 3. Has standards that are too high given who they are. Or a combination of the 3. This is not true at all! I put myself out there- I go to all kinds of social functions with my friends- parties, bars, barbecues, the beach...whatever is going on that I am invited to, I go to. I talk to people on the train and in the mall. I definitely make the effort. I don't sit in my apartment night after night and twiddle my thumbs. Isn't a catch themself? Come on...there are a lot of "good catch" people that are single...I being one of them. What do you consider a "good catch"? I have a great job, I own a home, I'm successful, I'm young, I'm smart, I'm attractive, I'm good with my money, I'm nice, I'm friendly, I'm outgoing...etc...and so are all of my friends who are single as well. truth be told, I think men are intimidated by women like my friends and I and they back away. High standards? Perhaps, but I wouldn't say wanting someone comparable to oneself is having standards that are too high. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Anyone claiming "all the good ones are taken", or something along those lines, either: 1. Isn't putting themself out there. 2. Isn't a catch themself. 3. Has standards that are too high given who they are. Or a combination of the 3. There are roughly the same number of men and women on Earth and in this country. Among the single men and women, some are losers, some are fantastic catches, and some are in between. It can't possibly be the case that men 25+ are only either taken or damaged goods and yet, somehow, women remain gems throughout their lives. It's not realistic. OMG QFT Not only this, but theres alot of women out there who dont have enough personality to be fun to be around. Is anyone working to make themselves more interesting to talk to if their looks arent enough to get approached by a guy? Thats the 2nd thing I worked on when I wasnt getting the women I wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Have you ever thought that perhaps your attitude is self-defeating? I consider myself an available, mature 25-year-old catch. You are 25, you are just a baby. I'm 41, try finding some guy older than that that is single and available and not a total loser or having some major problems. I gave up already. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Ariadne, you're single, aren't you? Are you saying you're not a catch? Again, you can be single and available and still be a catch. It's all about timing... I'm talking about the scarcity of quality men. Single women is what you find all over the place. I've seen shows with tons of gorgeous women, accomplished, and single with not a chance to find a guy. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 This is not true at all! I put myself out there- I go to all kinds of social functions with my friends- parties, bars, barbecues, the beach...whatever is going on that I am invited to, I go to. I talk to people on the train and in the mall. I definitely make the effort. I don't sit in my apartment night after night and twiddle my thumbs. Isn't a catch themself? Come on...there are a lot of "good catch" people that are single...I being one of them. What do you consider a "good catch"? I have a great job, I own a home, I'm successful, I'm young, I'm smart, I'm attractive, I'm good with my money, I'm nice, I'm friendly, I'm outgoing...etc...and so are all of my friends who are single as well. truth be told, I think men are intimidated by women like my friends and I and they back away. High standards? Perhaps, but I wouldn't say wanting someone comparable to oneself is having standards that are too high. Lovestruck you actually go up to guys and start conversations in these social functions? A catch is someone who is INTERESTING. Interesting to talk to in the long run. All the rest is second fiddle. Friendly and outgoing doesnt cut it. And if you sit there at all these social functions waiting for guys to approach you with your friends, well not all the guys know how to approach a pack of women. So you gotta make yourself more approachable. Cut down the pack to two. Or do what this girl did to me last night at the club. Her and her friend stood next to me, kept slightly bumping into me, basically waiting for me to talk to her. I know only young girls do this, but the more you dont work it, the more time passes. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Come on...there are a lot of "good catch" people that are single Of course there are. That's not what I said. Not all single, good catches claim "all the good ones are taken". What do you consider a "good catch"? I have a great job, I own a home, I'm successful, I'm young, I'm smart, I'm attractive, I'm good with my money, I'm nice, I'm friendly, I'm outgoing...etc...and so are all of my friends who are single as well. truth be told, Those are all good qualities and I'm not saying you're a good catch or not because I don't know you well enough to make that kind of claim. But there are things not included on that list that can be prohibit someone's dating. For example, I dated this girl who had some older friends who had a lot of the same qualities. One woman, in particular, was kind of a bitch and constantly bemoaned how "all the good ones are taken" and how "all men suck", etc... That right there hurt her chances of finding a good catch. No decent guy with self-respect wants to date a woman who thinks all men suck or thinks there must be something wrong with him because he's still single. I don't get how anyone--man or woman--can claim there must be something wrong with people of a certain age being single when they are that same age themselves. Hypocritical much? I think men are intimidated by women like my friends and I and they back away. Trust me, that's not the case. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Well "catch" is a relative term...I mean what I find to be a "catch" someone else may not...and vice versa. I would consider myself to be a "catch" and I'm single. It's about timing and the peopel you are meeting. I meet lousy men, that's why I'm single...NOT b/c I'm a loser or anything...b/c I am far from that. Ok, this is a "catch". A guy that is intelligent, nice, attractive, sexually ok (not impotent, hangups, womanizer), that has his finances together. Just that is close to impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 You are 25, you are just a baby. I'm 41, try finding some guy older than that that is single and available and not a total loser or having some major problems. I gave up already. Im not attacking you Ariadne, Im just going to ask this. Before you gave up... What exactly did you do to find the guy you wanted? Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Im not attacking you Ariadne, Im just going to ask this. Before you gave up... What exactly did you do to find the guy you wanted? At some point I put ads on online services found nada. Went out to clubs or social gatherings, nada. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Ok, this is a "catch". A guy that is intelligent, nice, attractive, sexually ok (not impotent, hangups, womanizer), that has his finances together. Just that is close to impossible. Oh, and add to that, no alcoholic, smoker, gambler, or any of those vices. That's it, you are out of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Come on...there are a lot of "good catch" people that are single Plus, if you're claiming that there are a lot of good catch people that are single, then how can you possibly, at the same time, claim the opposite: that all the good ones are taken? It's one or the other. Link to post Share on other sites
rod_in_gtown Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Yes, there are. But you have to look a little deeper than the surface. Also timing is a beeoatch. I'm now 31, a great catch and good looking to boot. I've been married, yes, and some people see this as a handicap. I see it as a life experience, just like having surgery or living abroad. It opens your horizons and gives you a new perspective on relationships. Some people are paralyzed by the experience, but some learn from it and take the best from it. It's all in the individual. I don't put myself out there in bars and clubs. I just don't like it. And if someone approaches me, I am friendly but I don't hit on them right away. I have found great women online, and am currently dating one who also has been single for a long time. And she's also very attractive, and a great catch. So, just open your horizons and see what's out there, if you like someone, see if there's a ring, if there is none, come up to him and say hi and smile. That's all it takes. And if he is taken, he'll tell you. The worst that can happen is that he'll be taken and you move on. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Well since were being brutally honest I htink you could lose a little wieght Ariadne You have nice features, I think if you lost some weight and didnt say to many crazy things youd open a lot of doors Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Plus, if you're claiming that there are a lot of good catch people that are single, then how can you possibly, at the same time, claim the opposite: that all the good ones are taken? It's one or the other. I believe the title of the thread references all the good "men" as being taken...it doesn't reference women. Link to post Share on other sites
butcher's hook Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Anyone claiming "all the good ones are taken", or something along those lines, either: 1. Isn't putting themself out there. 2. Isn't a catch themself. 3. Has standards that are too high given who they are. Or a combination of the 3. . I agree with that. It is simply not true all the good ones are taken, there are billions of people in this world and it's up to you to find one only one in a sea of people. It's not impossible. I met my guy when I was emotionally ready, I know my patterns now I knew that when I was open to it I would find a guy again. You have to have that confidence that it will happen, that life is cyclical that nothing lasts forever. If you choose to focus on the negative you will only stagnate in negativity. I was saying to someone a few days ago, it's amazing but whenever I am with someone or I am actively dating I am like a magnet for men, my mojo changes from one day to the next. The vibes I am putting out now are that I am open to love. Without even knowing it you physically close yourself up from the world the whole time you are not emotionally ready. It is no coincidence. You may think you are ready but if you carry all these negative thoughts with you then you are creating a negative existence and make yourself unavailable even if you know deep down you want it to happen. Who wants to approach that? Get out there and go on dates with guys you are just mildly interested in, what this does is it gets you to put effort into how you present yourself romantically it gets you in that head space and if puts the vibes out that you are welcoming romance back in your life. You have to believe it or else it consumes YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I believe the title of the thread references all the good "men" as being taken...it doesn't reference women. Come on...there are a lot of "good catch" people that are single Sorry, I didn't know you don't consider men to be people. Maybe that's your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 You may think you are ready but if you carry all these negative thoughts with you then you are creating a negative existence and make yourself unavailable even if you know deep down you want it to happen. Who wants to approach that? Exactly. Mindset makes a big difference. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Ok, this is a "catch". A guy that is intelligent, nice, attractive, sexually ok (not impotent, hangups, womanizer), that has his finances together. Just that is close to impossible. I haven't found anyone like this that isn't at least in his 40's. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Share Posted July 9, 2009 Anyone claiming "all the good ones are taken", or something along those lines, either: 1. Isn't putting themself out there. 2. Isn't a catch themself. 3. Has standards that are too high given who they are. Or a combination of the 3. There are roughly the same number of men and women on Earth and in this country. Among the single men and women, some are losers, some are fantastic catches, and some are in between. It can't possibly be the case that men 25+ are only either taken or damaged goods and yet, somehow, women remain gems throughout their lives. It's not realistic. Who said all women remain gems throughout their lives? My post was about men, not women. I believe that I am a catch . I know that most people probably say that, but you'd be surprised if you met me. I'm attractive, smart and nice. So, yes it's definitely possible. Also, as I said at the moment I don't know one attractive guy who's not taken. Not a one. My standards aren't too high; if anything I tend to be less picky than most women. If a guy is reasonably smart and cute (6-7+), that's enough to pique my interest. Here are the guys I know. This may seem harsh, but it's as objective as I can make it: 1) Coworker, 21, short, balding and dim-witted. 2) Coworker, 21, unattractive, overweight and also slow 3) Coworker, 33, somewhat cute, smart and married 4) my boss, 55+, nice, overweight 5) my other boss, 45, gay 6) Friend/aquaintance from school, 22, very cute, smart, long term girlfriend 7) friend of friend, 20, cute, talented musician, girlfriend 8) friend of friend, 25, average-looking, smart, stoner, girlfriend 9) friend of friend, 19, cute, artist, girlfriend 10) acquaintance, 24, cute, smart, girlfriend (had crush on him earlier in year. didn't even found out until after approaching him that he had a gf.) 11) Housemate, 21, psychotic and creepy 12) Housemate, 28, gay 13) Housemate, 45+, divorce with girlfriend I could go on... But the problem is when single attractive guys are in such short supply, when I literally come into close contact with one every six months or less, I end up putting all my eggs in one basket which dooms it to failure. I live in a small college town that's emptied out for the summer. I'm sure I'd have more opportunities in a city. How much do I put myself out there? I never go clubbing, but that's not my style. My main connection to other people at the moment is through work, but I work in a small office where I rarely meet new people. I also have a few male acquaintances but no real "friends" who live near me. I go to coffee shops on occasion and run my errands, but never get approached in those settings. The only time I really get approached by strange men is at clubs, and that's not how I like to meet men. I know I need to expand my circle. Just not sure how given my current circumstances. I also really wish singles would wear some sort of "available" tag so we could find each other. Also would help if they listed whether they're looking for a relationship or just fwbs. Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 This is not true at all! I put myself out there- I go to all kinds of social functions with my friends- parties, bars, barbecues, the beach...whatever is going on that I am invited to, I go to. I talk to people on the train and in the mall. I definitely make the effort. I don't sit in my apartment night after night and twiddle my thumbs. Isn't a catch themself? Come on...there are a lot of "good catch" people that are single...I being one of them. What do you consider a "good catch"? I have a great job, I own a home, I'm successful, I'm young, I'm smart, I'm attractive, I'm good with my money, I'm nice, I'm friendly, I'm outgoing...etc...and so are all of my friends who are single as well. truth be told, I think men are intimidated by women like my friends and I and they back away. High standards? Perhaps, but I wouldn't say wanting someone comparable to oneself is having standards that are too high. Absolutely. I agree. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Ok, this is a "catch". A guy that is intelligent, nice, attractive, sexually ok (not impotent, hangups, womanizer), that has his finances together. Just that is close to impossible.No it's not. They're everywhere. Get out more and they'll find you. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Sorry, I didn't know you don't consider men to be people. Maybe that's your problem. hahah you're right actually...most men I meet are animals...just wanna screw ya and then leave ya. (although technically homo sapiens ARE animals- lol, i think I'm confusing myself) Link to post Share on other sites
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