Untouchable_Fire Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I know there are average-unattractive women who have success with men, but they often have to do the approaching or they meet men through friends. If you're shy it's a lot harder, but I suspect many of those women may be naturally shy but forced themselves to get out of their shell. I don't think this is true as a general rule. I see women as either attractive or unattractive and decide to approach 100% based on that. I think a good number of men think just like me, and average girls tend to be attractive plus approachable. Besides, generally speaking the more attractive a woman thinks she is... the more of a pain in the butt she is going to be down the road.
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I see women as either attractive or unattractive and decide to approach 100% based on that. Exactly. the more attractive a woman thinks she is... the more of a pain in the butt she is going to be down the road. So true!! Love it. :p
Star Gazer Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I know there are average-unattractive women who have success with men, but they often have to do the approaching or they meet men through friends. Riiiiiiiiight, because we all know that women you consider average to unattractive could never have a sexy, charming, magnetic personality.
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Riiiiiiiiight, because we all know that women you consider average to unattractive could never have a sexy, charming, magnetic personality. Huh? I never said that. My point is that a strange guy probably isn't going to approach an unattractive woman just based on her appearance. That's why she often needs to make the first move or has to get to know him some other way, so she can show off her personality. Btw, some of the most magnetic personalities I've met have belonged to unattractive women. Stop twisting my words.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Huh? I never said that. My point is that a strange guy probably isn't going to approach an unattractive woman just based on her appearance. That's why she often needs to make the first move or has to get to know him some other way, so she can show off her personality. I can tell you from personal experience that what men find attractive varies wildly from guy to guy. I have at least 2 friends who love large women. Personally, the thing that makes the biggest difference with me in approach VS. pass right by... is body language. I could walk right past Helen of Troy without a thought if her body language is off. As long as you have good hygiene and wear makeup... you should get some attention.
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Really? Which one is Denver Guy? I find it amazing that someone who would go to the lengths of driving uninvited to some guy's house in another state WHO IS OVER 40 would say that all single guys over 40 have something wrong with them. He is none of those, and there is nothing wrong with him. But he is also not available. At least not to me anyway.
Taramere Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Huh? I never said that. My point is that a strange guy probably isn't going to approach an unattractive woman just based on her appearance. That's why she often needs to make the first move or has to get to know him some other way, so she can show off her personality. He might get a sense of her personality through her body language or her facial expressions though. Someone who isn't generally considered to be conventionally attractive might nonetheless have a very expressive face that will trigger an emotional response in the right person.
Isolde Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Shadow, I do have to say that I feel there are more eligible women, than eligible men, that are single. And I'm not one of those "men have it easier" people at all. I just seriously think that statistically that's the way it is. BUT. You have to deal with reality no matter what your perception of reality is. So maybe don't worry so much what the reality is and just work with what happens. One step at a time, perhaps? TBF, with all due respect and admiration, I don't think you realize how difficult this is for some women...
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Shadow, I do have to say that I feel there are more eligible women, than eligible men, that are single. And I'm not one of those "men have it easier" people at all. I just seriously think that statistically that's the way it is. BUT. You have to deal with reality no matter what your perception of reality is. So maybe don't worry so much what the reality is and just work with what happens. One step at a time, perhaps? I get that sense too, but I'm not sure how that would work.
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 He might get a sense of her personality through her body language or her facial expressions though. Someone who isn't generally considered to be conventionally attractive might nonetheless have a very expressive face that will trigger an emotional response in the right person. That's true. I guess I wasn't considering how subjective attractiveness can be.
Jilly Bean Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Shadow - you're hot and smart. You'll never want for men in your life. You own the magic formula!
Isolde Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 He might get a sense of her personality through her body language or her facial expressions though. Someone who isn't generally considered to be conventionally attractive might nonetheless have a very expressive face that will trigger an emotional response in the right person. Touche'. FWIW, I think this is the same reason women often go for unconventional-looking men. It's NOT about money, folks! *rolleyes*
The Collector Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Since becoming over 25 I have been unavailable about 97% of the time. I am currently in that other three percent though, so I'd hop on a plane pronto if I were you.
Isolde Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Shadow - you're hot and smart. You'll never want for men in your life. You own the magic formula! To be fair, being BOTH attractive and smart can sometimes make things more difficult for women too. From what I've observed, most women who fall in this category tend to form relationships with fewer men. I think it's a combination of men being somewhat intimidated, and these women being picky.
Trialbyfire Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 You're right Isolde. I don't understand why it's so difficult for some women, because it's not. A reasonably attractive woman with half a brain, can find a reasonably attractive man with half a brain. From the way people have portrayed themselves on LS, there's no excuse for why some of them aren't in a relationship, beyond the three things that Tanbark listed and internal, negative demons.
Isolde Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 You're right Isolde. I don't understand why it's so difficult for some women, because it's not. A reasonably attractive woman with half a brain, can find a reasonably attractive man with half a brain. OK, so, both Shadow and I have less than half a brain. You learn something new all the time.
Trialbyfire Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 OK, so, both Shadow and I have less than half a brain. You learn something new all the time.Nope, that's not what I said.
tanbark813 Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 To be fair, being BOTH attractive and smart can sometimes make things more difficult for women too. From what I've observed, most women who fall in this category tend to form relationships with fewer men. I think it's a combination of men being somewhat intimidated, and these women being picky. Yeah, guys hate smart, hot chicks. And god forbid they have big boobs or love fellatio.
Isolde Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Yeah, guys hate smart, hot chicks. And god forbid they have big boobs or love fellatio. No, guys like women that are attractive and smart, BUT, if you look on LS you'll see plenty of women in this category who have been or were single for many years.
tanbark813 Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 No, guys like women that are attractive and smart, BUT, if you look on LS you'll see plenty of women in this category who have been or were single for many years. That doesn't disprove my previous claims.
Ariadne Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 OK, so, both Shadow and I have less than half a brain. You learn something new all the time. I think that was me. I have too high standards, and I should settle for a half brain guy such as myself.
Isolde Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 That doesn't disprove my previous claims. Explain. (yes, my brain is lacking too)
Star Gazer Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Shadow - you're hot and smart. You'll never want for men in your life. Takes way more than that to KEEP a good man.
Star Gazer Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Explain. (yes, my brain is lacking too) See my post underneath this one. It takes way more than just good looks and intelligence to keep someone's interest, nevermind have them fall in love with you.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 No, guys like women that are attractive and smart, BUT, if you look on LS you'll see plenty of women in this category who have been or were single for many years. It is a numbers game. You can't sit at home with your cats every evening and wonder why captain amazing hasn't shown up.
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