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whart I want...


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I was writing in my blog today and I realized what I wanted out of this thing with me and my good friend.(see previus post, b4 i registered, if u wnat to kno what Im talking about.)

This is what I wrote:

 

I like E (that s what I call my friend) alot. That's for sure. I think he could be my soul mate and at the same time think it might not be meant to be...does that make any sense?

What I want is....for us to continue being friends but without the contradictory signals bull****. I want us to be honest with each other. It would be okay with me if he said he didnt feel the same way. It really would be.

And if he does feel the same way...Well then I don't know waht I want. I don't want to be bf/gf in the tradtiional sense. I dont want any pressure to call each other or celebrate stupid anniversiries or any of that. I know it could never be that way anyways. I don't even mind if we see other people. I don't want us to treat each other any differently, except with more honesty. I would want to spend more time with him, like out side of school. And I would definelty want to hook up...but if none of that happened, It would be okay. All I really want is to stop being all torn up inside. I want to know what he is thinking, what he wants, so that I can stop analyzing every moment for the meaning. I want him to know how i feel so he can do the same. I want to stop having to pretend. I want evrything to stay the same, but i want everything to be different.This is what I want.

 

...The problem is I don't know how to tell him.

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Tell him by using the same words you just wrote on here. You aren't asking for a committment....just clarification. I think that's a good thing.

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