slimmyjv Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Wsup people, im a long time lurker here, and a first time poster. I'm in a weird position with a friend right now, and just so we're all clear im the guy and shes the girl. I've known her for almost 4 years now, we met in college freshman year and have remained good friends even after i transfrerred to a diffrent school, but she lives near my home town. I see her whenever we're both back home, which is like once or twice a month, and for days in a row during breaks. we hang out and do stuff like see a movie or get food and ice-crem, but it feels all buddy buddy. She even said one time she consideres me like a brother while she was at my place one night chillin watching tv. idk how to proceed, well i do, but im too shy and/or nervous to really express my emotions. I feel like she has no idea how im feeling, even though i show it, like i bought her a dress for her upcoming birthday as a present, biggest thing i have ever done for her. i do other subtle things like layin my head on her ass during a movie. we've slpet in the same bed together too, and here comes the pathetic part: we never did anything, just talk and beat around the bush. she goes on and on about her recent ex-bf of 2 years, who came by as we just started getting close in the begining of our friendship, so i felt robbed, but shame on me for not making the first move sooner, but anyways shes really heart-broken over this guy it so im not pushing her into anything either. but damnit i think thats exactly what she needs right now, and im here but she doesnt acknowlege. this is a chance, but shes still crazy about this ex-bf. but who knows what she's feeling towards me, i really just wanna put myself out there and end up pouring my heart out to her, just to see what could happen, but it just killed me when she said the brother thing. im terrible at expressing myself, even on here, and i just had to write my feelings out. i cant stand it anymore, i feel like our friendship is so fake, we dont act on our emotions so we disregard the possibility of ever allowing that frienship to blossom into something greater. We tell ourselves maybe this could ruin a great long friendship, but i say **** that because real friends wouldn't do that to each other, they would trust each other enough , and im almost to the point where i cant continue this friendship anymore because im crushing so hard on this girl damnit and it gets frustrating at points because i can't help but feel the way i feel, yet im so terrified and i dont know why. prolly cuz i love her i think? wtf is love anyway...thats a whole 'nother topic..... not really expecting much at this point, but am willing to jump at any oportunity that arises. i'm gonna see her again on her bday soon and shes throwing a dinner party followed by some bar hopping with a bunch of other people who are in both our circle of friends. i wanna make this night special for her, and me. any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 I'd re-think the birthday proposal. It could seriously backfire on you, as she might just want to be out with friends celebrating her day. Not your day, not your feelings day, and not the two of you's day. But her day. Granted, it could work too. But I think the birthday idea is a bad one because there is no middle ground. It could either be the best thing she's ever heard, or it could be the worst thing that has ever happened to her when all she wants to do is party. I'd wait for another day, when it's just the two of you and you are sober. If you need to tell her how you feel, then do so, but pick a better time. In my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
adzent Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Her birthday is a no go. She is out partying, and maybe even out on the pull. This is al wrong, and if you trully want to tell her how you feel, id suggest being alone. Sounds like a heavy crush you have, so wait it out. Get her over yours for the evening. Make her dinner, unexpectedly of course, light some candles and whip out the best wine you have. Take it easy, she should get the jist of things, and if she doesnt she is a plank. If she doesnt walk out, sit down, do some harmless flirting, have a good laugh and show her how easy you are to talk to. All the while play some nice slow music, it always sets the mood. If she stays until desert, lol, and im sure she will, then after this you choose the right time and tell her. Dont worry about being nervous, its a good thing, because its yet another sign of you liking her and she will now. After you tell her how you feel, you have to leave it up to her from here. You could do this, or whatever. but on the night you tell her, make an effort. Women like to now an effort has been made for them, and it shows self respect and you trying to look your best, for whatever reason;) You dont have to followe this of course, but from personal experience, it works. Link to post Share on other sites
RA1 Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I agree with the previous two posters. Good advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Author slimmyjv Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 Thanks for the replies guys, so i decided not to make any moves that night, we all got really wasted and i knew it wasnt good idea to come clean with my feelings in that state, so im just gonna wait for another time when we're alone, together, sober. I want to show her im more than a friend, so i was thinking maybe i should do something romantic like a dinner or something at my crib and some nice music, prepare the dinner together maybe? and then a stroll through the park. any other romantic ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
adzent Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Thanks for the replies guys, so i decided not to make any moves that night, we all got really wasted and i knew it wasnt good idea to come clean with my feelings in that state, so im just gonna wait for another time when we're alone, together, sober. I want to show her im more than a friend, so i was thinking maybe i should do something romantic like a dinner or something at my crib and some nice music, prepare the dinner together maybe? and then a stroll through the park. any other romantic ideas? I gave my idea of a good night before. If you are near one, take her to the beach. It is always romantic at night, no matter what. Tell her your feelings, do not worry about nerves, just go ahead and let it all out. Dont come on to strong though, give her all time and space that she may need to think about this, do not pressure her. I am currently with my first love, and it is amazing! undescribable! and our first date i took her to the beach and it was beautiful, clear night, stars and moon glistening on the sea, and i told her i loved her. she told me back, and we have been so in love evr since. i hope it works out for you, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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