Air Head Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Hi everyone! I have posted some topics here before, in the Second Chances forum and I got some good advice, so thank you! Unfortunately, things have recently taken a turn for the...confusing, and I need some more help if anyone can give it. Basically, my boyfriend and I broke up about 6 weeks ago, because he didn't get butterflies when he saw me anymore, and he wanted to go out and have some fun with his friends, but he said that he would probably ask me out again in the future because I'm "so lovely" according to him. He also said that he didn't want us to drift apart and he wanted us to be best friends. We're both very young (in relationship terms), I'm 16 and he is 17. We had been going out for about 2 years, and we didn't have any major problems. The break up was completely out of the blue. The break up has been awful on me, as I had just started at a new school at the time, and it caused all sorts of problems. I had to have time off school as I was so upset, and actually considered dropping one of my A-Level courses just so I could cope a bit better. I have been doing the no-contact thing that seems to be recommended here, and after about 2 weeks of not seeing him or contacting him, he texted me asking me what I had done the night before. I was quite surprised at this as he never even texted me when we were going out! I didn't get the message for a while as I was busy with my friends (trying to forget about it all), and when I texted him back at midnight he replied straight away, and we had a mini-conversation. This was even more shocking because he also never used to reply to my messages! I called him the next day to see how he was (I was ill and my resolve weakened!), and he seemed genuinly happy to hear from me. We had a good conversation, and like all of the times I have seen him since we finished, it was like we had never broken up. All of this had lead me to believe that he was maybe missing me a bit. And this made me really happy, as it seems like a first step to getting back together sometime in the future. But then I spoke to one of his friends on Sunday night, after my conversation with my ex. I was told that he spent Friday night out with his friends, trying to get with another girl. I spoke to another friend who was at the bar with them, though, and she said she didn't notice anything! Even though he didn't get anywhere with her and nothing happened, I was absolutely gutted because I thought he was missing me. But then I asked myself why he had been so happy when I called, and why he texted me. The only possible reasons I could come up with were that he just plain missed me, or because he couldnt get anywhere with this girl and that made him miss me. I saw him this evening, with a group of our friends, and he was being lovely to me, as usual, and actually a bit flirty. But then one of our friends starting mocking him because of this girl, and that made me worry that something was going to happen with them. If it did I think it would put me right back to how depressed I was straight after the break up and I dont think I could handle it. If anyone has any insight or advice about why this guy is texting me and being nice, then I would really really appreciate it. I apologise for this being so long, thank you for reading it! Link to post Share on other sites
ArdeaCandidissima Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 I don't think it's wise for people so young to have exclusive relationships. The hearts of young people are made to safely sample and experiment and develop themselves and their understanding of the world. Yes, they're looking for "fun" and "butterflies" and you know, that is appropriate when you are a teenager. Being wrapped up in a serious, exclusive relationship means they are missing out. I am sure he misses you. However, that is NOT a reason to give him exclusive rights to your time. Why don't you move on to other groups of friends, and learn about all the wonderful guys and girls out there. Then when you're 25 and married to whomever, you won't be wondering what you missed... Link to post Share on other sites
cliche_boy Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 he prolly hasnt had much practice at "picking up" since hes so young and been with you for 2 years. So he wouldnt have had any experience at being rejected. He was probably really bad a picking up this girl, hence his friends mocking him, and because being rejected is a first for him, he probably thinks he's always gonna be rejected and be alone forever, the only girl he could ever have is you. Link to post Share on other sites
cliche_boy Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 but hey, there's some more speculation for ya, it all we can do, speculate based on our experiences and education... i gues we have had different experiences and education. Link to post Share on other sites
cliche_boy Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 1 more... what we're doing is good for a relationship, we're arguing and discussing our points. if we were going out and i decided to shutup and just go "oh ok" then silent.... Have my thoughts and ideas on what might have happend really changed? na, im more likely just to up and leave without warning. Similarly if you had nothing to argue or discuss, had nothing to add to the conversation, you might do what people often do in that situation and just go out to discredit some1 with a "na, ya wrong, how do ya know this? where do ya get this bulls__t from?"... thats discrediting cos ya have no knowledge about the topic or anyingthing to disproove what the other person is saying. Link to post Share on other sites
air_head Posted November 14, 2003 Share Posted November 14, 2003 Thanks! But I don't think I made myself clear - sorry its my fault! I found this out after I posted. Apparently, he didn't try to get with this girl, he just thinks she's nice (according to another of his friends), and they were mocking him because he liked her. Quite why they would do this i don't know!! But the guy who said that he was trying to get with this girl has allegedly got a crush on me, so that could explain a lot. Sorry again! Link to post Share on other sites
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