monkey00 Posted November 4, 2003 Posted November 4, 2003 hm..i think im in the same position as you, Cause i like my female friend...even tho ive known her for about 2 months ive grown to like her more than a friend, we are very cool w/each other and i help her out w/whatever she needs help in. I dont know if she feels the same but it's possible, no signals from her..oh ya lately i notice she's been trying to touch/tap me on my shoulder arm. we've been sharing lots of stuff about experiences, past, etc a lot lately. even though we have each other's number, we dont call each other UNLESS if it's something important like asking for help w/hw/class/school/comp..etc. Me and her have gotten pretty close even tho it's been 2 months, i dont think she's as close to any other boy other than me(as in being really friendly to). and i think she wants to hang out with my friends after we watch a movie together...what does that show? a month ago i asked her if she wanted to pool w/me and friends she said no thx, but this time i asked her to shoot pool w/me only, she suggested i call out my friends also. how would i let her know how i feel w/o jeapordizing the friendship?? i mean as in even tho telling her and being rejected, everything of our friendship will remain the same. And do you think telling her will make it seem like i'm too easy to get?? and thus not feel the same way towards me ever! but i also hear that telling a girl how you feel shows how confident you really are. i'm pretty certain i would be willing to do all sorts of stuff for her, give her my jacket when its cold, DOH! i didnt wear one today when she said it was cold...sigh i felt so useless i couldnt lend her a jacket cause i had a tshirt on! as well as do other stuff for her. i dont think i'd be willing to do the same for another girl. Or do you think i'd be wiling to do these things for my friend cause i Like her? or cause i care for her deeply as a friend? right now im not hanging out w/any other female friends other than her so im unsure of my true feelings. in some previous posts...i mentioned i had an infatuation for her for 4 days, that was half a month ago.
Author monkey00 Posted November 4, 2003 Author Posted November 4, 2003 yea i also forgot to ask whether you think it's a bad/good thing to let her meet my friends, i dont mind and all. OR should i just watch the movie w/her and call it a night? here's why i aask: #0 it's all guys #1 they like to act cool/fake anywhere/everywhere! i can imagine it'll be worse if a girl is around them, ONE of them has low self esteem and may act like a dick sometimes #2 they judge people at first sight/first impression, this is my friend im letting them meet! #3 I dont want to make her feel bad about herself or anything in front of my friends cause she's not good at pool #4 You could say my friends are negative ions flowing through life #5 they'll probably ignore her or not try to socialize with her, in point BEING UNFRIENDLY towards her (making her feel rejected, in some weird way) #6 i know theyre gonna be talking about her/me behind my&her back when we're not around (such as making judgements about her, etc.) #7 This might change her impression about me after finding out what type of friends i have....they're my hangout crew! i'm completely opposite from them, im the sociable, complimenting friendly nice guy. so yea ive known them for about 4 years of my life so i know how they are.
Author monkey00 Posted November 5, 2003 Author Posted November 5, 2003 actually..this thought didnt occur to me until today...I think its possible that I like/love her as a brother who wants to watch over her. I mean, its possible, cause we like to share everything that goes on in our lives, like what either did over the weekend...and other stuff etc. I feel really comfortable/relaxed around her and i dont get nervous/tense around her How do you guys interpret the difference between liking/loving a friend as a brother and liking/loving her more than a friend?? my feelings are kinda confused right now
purplepenguin Posted November 30, 2003 Posted November 30, 2003 You are feeling strong feelings for this friend even though you have not known her for very long right? But yet you guys have shared everything and become basically best friends. But now you have become so close that you either love her as you are falling in love with her or you love her as a sister, right? Well thats one dilemna you have gotten yourself into. You really do need to first sit down and determine exactly how you feel. When you are with her do you want to just hug her because she is so adorable like you would a little sister, or do you feel you want to spend more time with her and hug her to hold her and become more than just friends? Once you determine that feeling then you need to just tell her. Seems to me that you have already decided you are falling for her but you are trying to cover it up by saying that perhaps you are just thinking of her as a sister because you do not want to mess up the friendship (It seems like the friendship has become highly important to you). I know if I were this girl, if the friendship is as good as you say it is, you have to tell her how you feel about her and if she feels differently you guys can move past that (minus a few awkward days) and become better friends for it. If she feels the same way - ALL THE BETTER! The best type of relationships come from when 2 really good friends get together. Sometimes if you really do like the person then you have to take a risk and tell them how you feel. And I would not worry too much about the friend factor. If your friends do not like her but you do - too bad for your friends they can deal if they want to stay your friends. And if she doesnt like your friends, its not necessairly a reflection on you, if she likes you she likes you for you and not for your friends. And it is also really sweet that you would be willing to do basically anything for her and the jacket thing is very gentlemanly of you. And it is very understandable that your emotions are very confused. Everyone has been there because love is a very confusing scenario. What you have to do is just realize how she makes you feel and what your instincts you have around her - are they to shelter her from all that is bad in the world or are they to wrap your arms around her and never let her go because you love her? I know that may seem like a hard question to answer but it is what you have to do. My suggestion: if you like her, take the risk - good friendships can move past it. if you care for her as only a sister, just make sure she knows that because if she does like you then that could help her to move on as well.
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