BraveGirl Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Don't really know what to say, just trying so hard not to call him. 2 weeks since The Last Call and I feel so very sad, full of grief and love. I thought i was getting into the 'angry' stage people have talked about, but I feel full of regret and sorrow. Maybe writing this will stop me calling him at this point. Please, a little encouragement/ advice?? Link to post Share on other sites
Summerday Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 What happened, why are you trying not to call him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BraveGirl Posted November 5, 2003 Author Share Posted November 5, 2003 I have another post here from a week or so ago, but briefly... We have been together 2 years, lived abroad a while together, he came home alone after a series of arguments/ disagreements/ problems, 4 months ago. We hurt each other a lot, and I suppose have had quite a turbulent relationship. But having accumulated thousands of hours in talking and understanding over the last 4 months, and seemed to be getting onto 'a different level' in our relationship (his words). We are both in (early) mid life crisis a bit, so there is insecurity, and from him the 'I need to discover myself and what I want to do alone' line. On the other hand we are both ready for the right one, and we both thought we were. But it's obvious now we both took each other for granted. I think I have spoilt it several times by being too demanding and losing my temper, or at least saying hurtful things, when I have felt hurt, feeling desperate. But we have always come back and got over it. 2 weeks ago after a wonderful weekend, he called and said he thought we should not see each other any more, for good this time, and confirmed this in an email. I actually cannot believe it would come to this. I have been too pestering on the phone etc in the past (his view and probably correct), so have really made myself not call this time. I am so aware of his faults but they are not huge so I feel hard feeling angry and glad I have him out of my life. Cos I'm not. We compliment each other so well in our qualities and really do have everything in common. I thought we were so right. I think he did too. I so want to call or at least email him but it seems that the only way to go, both in order to heal and not Link to post Share on other sites
Author BraveGirl Posted November 5, 2003 Author Share Posted November 5, 2003 I have another post here from a week or so ago, but briefly... We have been together 2 years, lived abroad a while together, he came home alone after a series of arguments/ disagreements/ problems, 4 months ago. We hurt each other a lot, and I suppose have had quite a turbulent relationship. But having accumulated thousands of hours in talking and understanding over the last 4 months, and seemed to be getting onto 'a different level' in our relationship (his words). We are both in (early) mid life crisis a bit, so there is insecurity, and from him the 'I need to discover myself and what I want to do alone' line. On the other hand we are both ready for the right one, and we both thought we were. But it's obvious now we both took each other for granted. I think I have spoilt it several times by being too demanding and losing my temper, or at least saying hurtful things, when I have felt hurt, feeling desperate. But we have always come back and got over it. 2 weeks ago after a wonderful weekend, he called and said he thought we should not see each other any more, for good this time, and confirmed this in an email. I actually cannot believe it would come to this. I have been too pestering on the phone etc in the past (his view and probably correct), so have really made myself not call this time. I am so aware of his faults but they are not huge so I feel hard feeling angry and glad I have him out of my life. Cos I'm not. We compliment each other so well in our qualities and really do have everything in common. I thought we were so right. I think he did too. I so want to call or at least email him but it seems that the only way to go, both in order to heal and not to drive them away any further, is to make no contact. But it feels so false. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted November 5, 2003 Share Posted November 5, 2003 It hurts now, but you are doing fine by not calling. Give yourself some time to heal and then maybe drop him an e-mail and if everything goes ok, if you feel you need to, call. Give yourself some time; it's gonna hurt for a little while, but stay strong! Don't call him! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BraveGirl Posted November 5, 2003 Author Share Posted November 5, 2003 Like all of you, I am finding this separation so so so hard. Maybe after the first 2 weeks, during which time you have cried a lot and cannot even think, the emptiness and grief really settles in. And various thoughts drive you crazy - that he may not be missing you, that he may be angry with you, that he may be glad not to see you. Or on the other hand that he may be missing you and thinking about you like he used to, that he wants to talk to you but is stopping himself, that he misses you physically. There was a very sad programme about adoption last night on TV. He is adopted, we talked about it a lot. The programme made me want to put my arms around him, knowing how upset he would have been if he was watching. Those kind of things, when your instinct is to call and say something. He said to me a while ago, "I can't imagine there ever being a time when I don't want to tell you everything." That was after not seeing each other for a while as well; he was saying that when we had been apart he admitted he always thought of me. I found that so incredibly touching, and wonder if he still feels like that. I so want him back, I know i'm not supposed to say that, but I do. Advice??? Thankyou Link to post Share on other sites
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