Change543 Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 So I went through a terrible breakup like 3 months with my first Gf ever. We dated for like 3 and a half years and it ended with her being a unfaithful bitch that made me believe she was an angel the whole time. Well I am ready to start dating again and i am 20, but I'm quite shy. I got all the confidence in the world with my looks and personality. Ive been working out religiously since my breakup because it feels me vent my anger and makes me feel good. The thing is I don't know who to start something to be honest. Example is in one my classes, there is this girl whom i think is very cute. I notice she shoots looks over at me and I can't help to do the same sometimes, the problem is I can't seem to bring myself to approach her. I just do not want to make a total ass outta myself haha. Does anyone have like any tips on how they first started to approach the opposite sex? Anyone feel the same?? Link to post Share on other sites
RA1 Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 When I was your age, I was exactly like you. As I got older, I became more confident about making the initial approach. That's the good news - it's a problem you can grow out of! I think that the first time you speak to her it should be just be polite small talk, not a pick up line. If all you are doing is exchanging a few social pleasantries, there's should be no possibility of an embarrassing rejection. If she is interested, she will probably respond by conversing with you. If she is not interested, she will probably answer in monosyllables, When it feels right, which might be in the first conversation or after several conversations, you could ask her out. You don't want the initial approach to be strained. I would suggest exchanging social pleasantries with lots of people, male and female, so that you come over as one of those outgoing people that talks to everyone and by practice you indeed become such a person. Link to post Share on other sites
Samari Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Well if I was in your shoes I suppose I'd wait for a good moment to go towards her and make conversation. At a time when she isn't occupied or something. I would just make sure I'd have something to talk about fairly relevant to what's happening around you guys, and make sure the topic can't be answered with "yes" or "no" questions. Ask her what she thinks about something so you don't get a one worded response like you're doing an interview for someone. If you feel like the conversation is going nowhere though, just bail. Ask for her name if you don't know it, and say something simple like "We'll catch ya later". You'll be able to tell very quickly if the conversation is going anywhere or not. The most important thing is to be calm, cool, and friendly so you don't come across as a weirdo or desperate. You say you have confidence already, so it sounds like you are already on the right path. Just try your best and if it doesn't work out oh well. Don't worry about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Change543 Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 Thats what I was thinking on doing, create small talk or something. I really need to stop being so scared of trying something. You only live once haha. Also I'm just wondering, how often do girls pursue men that they think are attractive?? Do they just hope the man comes to them?? Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 It's not bad being single you get to keep your money and not spend on dates, you get to sleep with whoever you want as long as you both know what's gonna happen. The thing is you had one girlfriend, you'll have another. Dont sweat it. Link to post Share on other sites
Samari Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Thats what I was thinking on doing, create small talk or something. I really need to stop being so scared of trying something. You only live once haha. Also I'm just wondering, how often do girls pursue men that they think are attractive?? Do they just hope the man comes to them?? Hard to say. But why would you worry about that? Don't hope she comes to you. Go and make the first move. Show this girl that you have confidence to go up and talk to her about something. Even if you are afraid, it's better than doing nothing. And if you get along well with this girl your fear with subside. Like I said though, if you feel like you guys aren't connecting and that you are doing most of the talking, then just bail. Don't try to make something work that appears like it's heading south. You don't have to bail rudely, but just a cool and calm "Well talk to you later" or "See ya around" will do. Then perhaps you could either move on or speak to her on another occasion. Just have the attitude that there are plenty of fish in the sea, because that is the truth in reality. Link to post Share on other sites
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