conehead Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I just found out 2 weeks ago my bf has had it since he's a kid. And I guess I'm scared I'd eventually get it, if I havent already become infected by him . Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I don't think it is something that is breakup worthy. I'm not incredibly familiar with how they are spread but at the very least do not kiss him or let him go down on you when he has a breakout. But even if you did catch them from him, are they really the end of the world? Link to post Share on other sites
Charles1978 Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I'm dating a girl currently who has it. She tells me she got it when she was younger from her mother. Whatever... doesn't matter at this point. She had a breakout recently, and she wouldn't kiss me. That was fine with me, obviously. But I continue to date her because I love her to death. The herpes... what can you do? Nothing. Just avoid kissing him/her during a breakout. I hope that works, because that has been my policy with her. Link to post Share on other sites
RA1 Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 You might already have it because it is so very common and a lot of people don't get symptoms. Here are some basic facts: About 50% of people have oral HSV1 (cold sores) by early adulthood and something like 80% by middle age. It's not usually very troublesome. Some people don't know they have it, some get a single breakout and then no more. With people who get recurrences, the interval between breakouts tends to get progressively longer and the symptoms less severe so that it becomes less troublesome as time goes on. Kissing and oral sex should be avoided during a breakout. Though the chance of spreading it is still significant even when there are no symptoms (which is why so many people contract it). Genital HSV1 is usually contracted from receiving oral sex from a person who carries oral HSV1. Like oral HSV1, genital HSV1 is not usually very troublesome. In very rare cases, HSV1 can spread to the brain causing encephaltis, an inflammation that can cause brain injury or death. I emphasize that this is extremely rare. (There is a small risk of any virus spreading to the brain.) There is also HSV2 which can occur orally but more usually genitally. It tends to be slightly but not much more troublesome than HSV1 (though the risk of encephalitis from HSV2 is less). Because HSV2 is usually genital, it tends to carry more social stigma than HSV1, Your bf told you he has had cold sores. To put this in perspective, probably around half of the people you have ever kissed carried oral HSV1, and if they didn't mention it it was either because they didn't know they carried it or they assumed it wasn't necessary to mention it. If you would contemplate breaking up with your bf over this, then to be logical you should never kiss anyone who cannot produce a negative HSV test report! There is a myth that HSV can only be diagnosed from a swab from a sore but there is also a type-specific blood test that can detect HSV1 or HSV2 antibodies. If you have the antibodies, you have the infection. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Yeah I have to find out if I have it. My ex broke out after an extended fellatio session, which is when she decided to inform me she had it. Same lame excuse "i got it when I was a kid" yeah right. Lucky for me her sore didnt look anywhere near as bad as some Ive seen in pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 almost everyone has it. it is nothing. it is not a STD. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Chicken Pox is also a form..... so if you have had chicken pox (which most people have) you are a carrier and could potentially get cold sores. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I could be entirely off-base here (it wouldn't be the first time, God knows), but perusing your past threads it seems to me that you're constantly looking for issues in your relationship. Are you looking for a reason to break it off, and waiting for the folks at LS to say "yeah, kick his ass to the curb"? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Chicken Pox is also a form..... so if you have had chicken pox (which most people have) you are a carrier and could potentially get cold sores. That's not correct at all, Rubia. Chicken pox is one of 8 distinct strains of the herpes viruses, but the strain that causes chicken pox is entirely different from HSV-1 (oral herpes). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpesviridae Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 That's not correct at all, Rubia. Chicken pox is one of 8 distinct strains of the herpes viruses, but the strain that causes chicken pox is entirely different from HSV-1 (oral herpes). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpesviridae oops- my bad... but it is in the same family though- i actually tried to edit my OP, but it was too late Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 I guess I'm also a bit POed that he didn't tell me until a year after we started kissing. I remember 4 months ago I saw this crusty thing on his lip (the relationship is long distance so i see him once every 1-2 weeks so maybe that was a healing cold sore) and had I known he gets cold sores I wouldn't have kissed him since that is when its most contagious. I guess I wished he'd be more courteous and tell me as opposed to telling me casually a year later and saying its no big deal, eventhough he knows its contagious. While all this time, we share chapstick and stuff so he could of transmitted the virus to me through a chapstick he's used on his sore before . I just hope I"m one of those people who if I have the virus that I'm immune to it. He only told me cuz I saw this zit on his lip and he assured me its a zit and ofcourse I was scared to kiss him but then he got annoyed that I wouldnt kiss him. But I mean can he really be mad at me for being uncertain/scared that the zit is actually a cold sore? Everything to him is no big deal but to me I'd hate to have blisters all over. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Yeah I have to find out if I have it. My ex broke out after an extended fellatio session, which is when she decided to inform me she had it. Same lame excuse "i got it when I was a kid" yeah right. Lucky for me her sore didnt look anywhere near as bad as some Ive seen in pictures. Actually, it's quite common to get it as a kid. And for the poster who said just don't kiss him when he breaks out, you can still get it from shedding. And OP... You can't be immune to it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 Actually, it's quite common to get it as a kid. And for the poster who said just don't kiss him when he breaks out, you can still get it from shedding. And OP... You can't be immune to it... Well, not immune per say, but asymptomatic. He said as far as he's concerend he hasn't given it to any of his 3 previous gfs and he's not awaring of them having it. I hope I wont be the unlucky one. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Does he have HSV 1 or 2? Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 When he did a herpes test as part of the std screening, it came out negative. He doesnt know whether it's HSV 1 or 2, but seeing that he gets it on his lips and it's since he was a kid, im guessing HSV 1 (oral kind). Why? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 When he did a herpes test as part of the std screening, it came out negative. He doesnt know whether it's HSV 1 or 2, but seeing that he gets it on his lips and it's since he was a kid, im guessing HSV 1 (oral kind). Why? Just curious.. either can be orally, just as either can genital. Link to post Share on other sites
rod_in_gtown Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Not breakup worthy. Not even sure if it's even worthy of being pissed off. It's like me being upset that my gf didn't tell me they had some other virus that all kids get when they're young. Not an STD. Chances are you also have it since you were a kid. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Not breakup worthy. Not even sure if it's even worthy of being pissed off. It's like me being upset that my gf didn't tell me they had some other virus that all kids get when they're young. Not an STD. Chances are you also have it since you were a kid. Wrong... it can be transmitted sexually. If you went by that logic, then when someone transferred genital herpes (1 or 2) to the mouth region, it's not an std any longer. Link to post Share on other sites
rod_in_gtown Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Wrong... it can be transmitted sexually. If you went by that logic, then when someone transferred genital herpes (1 or 2) to the mouth region, it's not an std any longer. Wrong, HSV-1 (cold sores) can't magically convert to HSV-2 (genital herpes) and vice versa. They're different strains. If you have HSV-1 in your mouth you can pass this HSV-1 to the genitals but it's still HSV-1, it doesn't turn into HSV-2 by virtue of being in the genitals. Source: http://herpes-coldsores.com/genital_herpes.htm Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Wrong, HSV-1 (cold sores) can't magically convert to HSV-2 (genital herpes) and vice versa. They're different strains. If you have HSV-1 in your mouth you can pass this HSV-1 to the genitals but it's still HSV-1, it doesn't turn into HSV-2 by virtue of being in the genitals. Source: http://herpes-coldsores.com/genital_herpes.htm HSV 1 is still considered an STD. Either can be orally or genitally. http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/STDs/herpes.html And you misquoted me, I never said it magically turns into the other. I said BOTH can be EITHER genital or oral. BOTH can be transmitted sexually. Link to post Share on other sites
rod_in_gtown Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Also, he could be confusing the cold sores with canker sores (aka, fever blisters). They both look similar but are caused by different factors, Cold sores = HSV-1, Canker sores = unknown but likely to be caused by immune system variations. Source: http://www.pharmacytimes.com/issue/pharmacy/2004/2004-11/2004-11-4707 Link to post Share on other sites
rod_in_gtown Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 HSV 1 is still considered an STD. Either can be orally or genitally. http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/STDs/herpes.html And you misquoted me, I never said it magically turns into the other. I said BOTH can be EITHER genital or oral. BOTH can be transmitted sexually. My bad, your statement was vague at best. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 My bad, your statement was vague at best. No it wasn't. It IS an STD, as it can be transmitted during sexual acts (i.e., oral sex). Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 *sigh* I'm so confused. Sometimes I feel ok with his cold sores, but other times I feel pissed/scared and I want to leave him, but at the same time I'm afraid that if I leave him that I already have the virus and will break out. Then I will have herpes AND be single. I truly hate this . DG and SG -- Honestly, have you or will you ever date someone who has oral herpes? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 *sigh* I'm so confused. Sometimes I feel ok with his cold sores, but other times I feel pissed/scared and I want to leave him, but at the same time I'm afraid that if I leave him that I already have the virus and will break out. Then I will have herpes AND be single. I truly hate this . DG and SG -- Honestly, have you or will you ever date someone who has oral herpes? Me personally, I look at a person as a whole. I don't look at just part of them. If a guy had the great qualities that I look for, and is a good person, I wouldn't leave him because of that. There's more to a person then just one flaw. It truly depends on who they are aside from it. But that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
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