yongyong Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 I met this girl at coffee shop and got her # after having long conversation. I met her today at coffee shop and had great time with her (not just me, she wanted to hang out again too) when we were about to say bye, she asked me to give her a hug. I hugged her and told her 'give me a kiss'. she said 'I can't kiss you' (while giggling and smiling at me) I wasn't sure what to say because when I had a good time with a girl, they usually give me a little kiss on the cheek or just make a kiss sound right by my cheek. so I told her 'no no no that's was not what I meant, I meant european style when you say bye' she said I can't kiss you again and we said bye I felt bad after this because we walked down the street holding hands, had great conversation and good eye contacts. She was smiling at me when she was saying that so I am not too worried but I still feel I should've not even asked that. so do you guys think it was something inappropriate? btw she is 18 and I am just over 25 Link to post Share on other sites
Bayern Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 To ask for a kiss if things are going nicely? No, I wouldn't think it's too inappropriate. It was the first meeting, though. Getting a kiss on the cheek is even less inappropriate. Even friends do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Athena Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 I personally don't think it's a big deal, but it may be a little too soon for her. She is clearly not comfortable with kissing your cheek after seeing you twice, so no big deal... that will come. It always amuses me that in Europe, I get to kiss people on both cheeks as a hello or a goodbye, but NO hugs!!! They find that too personal, yet in the United States, hugs are considered fine, and kissing on the cheek too personal! lol... It's cultural. BTW it's ok that this girl of yours has personal boundaries. Don't feel bad if she rejected your request -- she obviously only does what is comfortable by her standards. The fact that she held your hand so willingly shows she likes you, and I am sure it is just a matter of time before you will be getting that kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
RA1 Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 You didn't do anything inappropriate. I can't understand her not being comfortable with a kiss on the cheek. Next time when you hug, just kiss her on the cheek without asking! Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 You didn't do anything inappropriate. Next time when you hug, just kiss her on the cheek without asking! I wouldn't do that! may just be a great way to get her to dump you! when shes ready she will give you a kiss who knows maybe by then it wont be a Peck on the cheek don't rush things and just enjoy it as it develops! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 "Air kisses" are meaningless. Why not want your first kiss to be something a lot more personal than that? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 OP, IMO, do not talk about physical affection. Your body language and eyes should do all the communicating, as well as perceiving her actions/reactions. So, next time, when she's giggling and smiling, kiss her directly without saying a word. Look into her eyes and feel what you want to do and she will perceive it. Regardless of the result, continue on. A woman respects a man who is confident about himself and his desires, even if she's not on the same page yet, as long as he shows her respect in his actions. Embracing her and kissing her shows her comfort and security. If she's attracted to you, she will reciprocate. If not, you have an answer. Her holding your hand is a positive sign, IMO. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yongyong Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 yeah I really felt she wanted to be kissed. her eyes were dilated, she was fixing her lips. but I didn't want to kiss her since we were sitting in front of ice cream shop, sun was still there, cars were driving by. so I am thinking, next time, I would just meet her for a coffee again and bounce with her on my motorcycle to top of the mountain (has awesome view at night, perfect place to isolate n kiss her ) - tell me if this sounds cheesy. OP, IMO, do not talk about physical affection. Your body language and eyes should do all the communicating, as well as perceiving her actions/reactions. So, next time, when she's giggling and smiling, kiss her directly without saying a word. Look into her eyes and feel what you want to do and she will perceive it. Regardless of the result, continue on. A woman respects a man who is confident about himself and his desires, even if she's not on the same page yet, as long as he shows her respect in his actions. Embracing her and kissing her shows her comfort and security. If she's attracted to you, she will reciprocate. If not, you have an answer. Her holding your hand is a positive sign, IMO. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 IMO, carpe diem. In a developing relationship between two single people, building intimacy is a situational thing. When your feelings align and you sense that connection, you act on that information. Doing so does not guarantee success, but it does maximize the intimacy that you share. After all, if you didn't desire such intimacy, why would you even be wasting your valuable time with a girl, or she you, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author yongyong Posted July 13, 2009 Author Share Posted July 13, 2009 today I was sitting at the coffee shop where I met her. I was reading something. she came, said hi, started talking to some guy and left together in a little while. while she was talking to this guy, I just paid attention to the book. Is this something I should wonder about? like who is this guy? are they friends? but it's common for girls having guy friends and hangout with them? especially if she is hot. she is very gorgeous girl and I am sure a lot of guys are trying to hit on her though. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 Another tip: Other men are irrelevant. What she thinks about other men is irrelevant. The fact that she has a vagina and female hormones guarantees that men will 'hit' on her; gorgeous is not even a requirement. Focus on you and her and what you want. In the coffee shop instance, be bold. You like her and are glad to see her. Don't sit there with your nose in a book. Rise, go to her and greet her with a light hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then all the other guys will be wondering about what you're doing with this gorgeous girl. So what if she is meeting some other guy there and they leave together. Big deal. Again, irrelevant. You're single; she's single. Do what you do Link to post Share on other sites
Author yongyong Posted July 13, 2009 Author Share Posted July 13, 2009 I didn't explain the situation in detail. she said 'hey xxx' I looked up. She smiled and just walked by. since she was talking to some guy, I acted like I don't care. I saw 2 rookie guys hitting on her already. when I first met her, this guy whom she knew, came up. During conversation, he asked how we knew each other.(yeah sounded like if we were going out) he left after getting her # but he texted her right away while they were both at same coffee shop. I told her 'he seems like a nice guy eh?' her response was 'he is so full of him self' When I was sitting with her at ice cream store, I ran into this guy whom I met at the bar. He threw this pick up line I used before 'does this shirt make me look gay?' to this girl and tried to be funny I told her 'you guys would make a cute couple, he is funny' her response was 'he is just a silly boy' she is 9/10 girl so I think I should act differently than those guys. Another tip: Other men are irrelevant. What she thinks about other men is irrelevant. The fact that she has a vagina and female hormones guarantees that men will 'hit' on her; gorgeous is not even a requirement. Focus on you and her and what you want. In the coffee shop instance, be bold. You like her and are glad to see her. Don't sit there with your nose in a book. Rise, go to her and greet her with a light hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then all the other guys will be wondering about what you're doing with this gorgeous girl. So what if she is meeting some other guy there and they leave together. Big deal. Again, irrelevant. You're single; she's single. Do what you do Link to post Share on other sites
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