Write something wonderful about your partner

[Trialbyfire]

That's a HUGE quality in my book. Can you imagine me with someone who would get all butt hurt over a little teasing?

Well no but that's just my preference and also illustrates how S. isn't the perfect man for everyone. He loves to tease and is very direct. I think he would hurt LB bigtime, on a daily basis, as I could and probably have, without intent.

 

To me, those two traits are big positives. To someone else, they're a nightmare.

[Touche]

Well she knows not to do it a lot and to do it very gently because I don't like it, so she doesn't do it that often.

 

A lot of hurt in high school has just made me so sensitive. When I was a junior in high school a really popular boy wrote me a note asking me to go to the homecoming dance with him. It turns out that him and two of his other friends got together and decided to write the note to me as a cruel joke. (kind of like the movie "Never Been Kissed" if you've seen it). Everyone made fun of me for the whole year for believing it.

 

I was teased in school ALL the time LB. I got over it.

 

Well no but that's just my preference and also illustrates how S. isn't the perfect man for everyone. He loves to tease and is very direct. I think he would hurt LB bigtime, on a daily basis, as I could and probably have, without intent.

 

To me, those two traits are big positives. To someone else, they're a nightmare.

 

I agree. But LB said her fiance likes to tease but has to curb his ways since she's so sensitive. So his true nature is stifled.

[Touche]

Well she knows not to do it a lot and to do it very gently because I don't like it, so she doesn't do it that often.

 

A lot of hurt in high school has just made me so sensitive. When I was a junior in high school a really popular boy wrote me a note asking me to go to the homecoming dance with him. It turns out that him and two of his other friends got together and decided to write the note to me as a cruel joke. (kind of like the movie "Never Been Kissed" if you've seen it). Everyone made fun of me for the whole year for believing it.

 

Oh and how do you tease someone "very gently." Does not compute. Can you illustrate?

[Star Gazer]

I love that I can 100% be myself around my BF, and he can be 100% himself around me. There is no walking on eggshells.

 

I love this thread. It's making me mushy. I can't wait for him to get home tonight...

[Lauriebell82]

Oh and how do you tease someone "very gently." Does not compute. Can you illustrate?

 

I meant like mild teasing. And he is not vindictive with teasing or anything, he does not have that type of personality. He's a nice guy, he doesn't make it a habit of going around teasing and laughing at others.

 

And I don't think he's "stifling" his true nature, he's respecting his fiance who he loves.

[Trialbyfire]

I meant like mild teasing. And he is not vindictive with teasing or anything, he does not have that type of personality. He's a nice guy, he doesn't make it a habit of going around teasing and laughing at others.

 

And I don't think he's "stifling" his true nature, he's respecting his fiance who he loves.

To argue the other side to this, if a person enjoys teasing others and can take it, it's sometimes difficult to pull back. This doesn't mean he lacks respect for you. The teasing aspect is inherent in personality and no one should need to walk on eggshells around an SO.

 

Having said that, if my teasing has hurt you in the past, I'd like to apologize. No malice was ever intended.

[HsMomma]

Oh, LB. YOu shouldn't be that sensitive. Gosh, doesn't your fiance' ever tease you? Mr. T and I tease all the time. I make fun of his OCD and he makes fun of many of my quirks (including my love of LS.) I can't imagine us NOT teasing each other!

 

Oh, LB, please, please take these things in stride...nobody was trying to hurt you - it was all in humor. I feel like if we can't laugh at ourselves (or at ourselves with our online "peeps"), why bother? I mean really - life is serious ENOUGH - I hope you will loosen up some & just learn to go with it. Lord knows, if I couldn't laugh at myself, I'd be in REALLY bad shape!!!

[Touche]

I meant like mild teasing. And he is not vindictive with teasing or anything, he does not have that type of personality. He's a nice guy, he doesn't make it a habit of going around teasing and laughing at others.

 

And I don't think he's "stifling" his true nature, he's respecting his fiance who he loves.

 

Oh, ok. Well, Mr. T. is a nice guy too. But he does tease me. And it makes me laugh. What can I say?

 

Anyway, I guess there's different levels of teasing as you say. "Mild" is nice I guess. I'm just not known for being "mild.":laugh:

 

It's good that he knows your sensitivity level and doesn't cross the line.

[HsMomma]

Well she knows not to do it a lot and to do it very gently because I don't like it, so she doesn't do it that often.

 

A lot of hurt in high school has just made me so sensitive. When I was a junior in high school a really popular boy wrote me a note asking me to go to the homecoming dance with him. It turns out that him and two of his other friends got together and decided to write the note to me as a cruel joke. (kind of like the movie "Never Been Kissed" if you've seen it). Everyone made fun of me for the whole year for believing it.[/QUOTE]

 

Now, LB, I'm going to address this to you as I would my daughter (by the way, I'm old enough to be your mother, so please take this in the spirit in which it is intended):

 

MOVE ON! High school is over. I was 5 ft tall, had braces & weighed 180 lbs in high school - you don't think I dealt with mean teasing? Since I've "grown up," the braces & weight have come off & I'm very happy in who & what I am.

 

You CANNOT carry crap around that happened years ago & especially if it means everyone has to tiptoe around you because you had your feelings hurt "back then."

 

I DO NOT subscribe to the victim mentality - could you help what happened then? No...can you control how you handle it now? YES! Do so.

[Touche]

To argue the other side to this, if a person enjoys teasing others and can take it, it's sometimes difficult to pull back. This doesn't mean he lacks respect for you. The teasing aspect is inherent in personality and no one should need to walk on eggshells around an SO.

 

Having said that, if my teasing has hurt you in the past, I'd like to apologize. No malice was ever intended.

 

EXACTLY! Maybe it's ok for LB's fiance to pull back but I couldn't do it. OMG, no. I could never do it. Even you guys probably know that much about me by now. That's why I could never be with someone too sensitive. I'd have to alter a big part of who I am!

 

I think my teasing hurt LB too and I didn't mean to. I remember cracking myself up teasing her about the ring and seeing it across a crowded ballroom and such. I mean I even said my ring was the same size and it's perfectly fine but yeah, I teased her about it. If it were me on the other end of it (that same teasing,) I would have laughed and gone along with it and joked right back about it. But no, she got butt hurt.

 

Maybe the ability to laugh at ourselves is a maturity thing? Just throwing that out there.

 

But yeah, it's great to have someone who I can be totally myself with. He just "gets" me and I get him. That goes a long way in a marriage. If you can't totally be yourself with your spouse then who can you be yourself with?

[Trialbyfire]

I was teased in school ALL the time LB. I got over it.

I come from a family where teasing is a national past-time! So, as the youngest, I learned sarcasm at an early age. I'm sure you've noticed it...

 

Having said that, if I feel someone is teasing with malice, I come out with both barrels blazing.

[Touche]

Does he provide or do you work too?

These women were referring to men doing work around their house while still dating.

 

Huh? He provides AND I work. I don't get your question. How old are you anyway? My 13 year old is more articulate. No offense. And I don't know what you're talking about men doing work around their house while dating..huh?

 

I come from a family where teasing is a national past-time! So, as the youngest, I learned sarcasm at an early age. I'm sure you've noticed it...

 

Uhm, yeah. I think I've noticed.

 

Having said that, if I feel someone is teasing with malice, I come out with both barrels blazing.

 

Oh yeah. Me too. But even when it's done maliciously, I can laugh believe it or not.

[HsMomma]

How so? I thought most women consider protecting/nurturing a male role.

 

But if you do then your men are lucky.

 

But, the HUGE question is...

 

Why would you think that? WE don't!

[Touche]

Under the assumption a woman did 8 hours of cooking , 8 hours of cleaning and did it a professional level.

 

Professional level? Huh? Cleaning is cleaning. It's not rocket science. And I'm a good cook too. Do I have to do it "professionally" for it to be worth more? You make no sense. Your posts are annoying. Go away. You're not even on topic.

 

Please confine your remarks to the topics at hand here: LB's bear, teasing within a relationship and oh yeah, what we appreciate about our SO's. Beyond that, please shut it. Thank you.

[Touche]

I was referring to the salary of a SAHM thing. They took the salaries of people doing those jobs and added them up.

 

 

I would never ever miss the seat. I don't throw my laundry on the floor. I am organized and could do all those things. I would never expect to be a slob or expect a woman to pick up after me.

 

And that's a good thing too, because unless you pay her, I don't think it ever is going to happen anyway.

[HsMomma]

Professional level? Huh? Cleaning is cleaning. It's not rocket science. And I'm a good cook too. Do I have to do it "professionally" for it to be worth more? You make no sense. Your posts are annoying. Go away. You're not even on topic.

 

Please confine your remarks to the topics at hand here: LB's bear, teasing within a relationship and oh yeah, what we appreciate about our SO's. Beyond that, please shut it. Thank you.

 

Touche, I want to BE you when I grow up!!!

[HsMomma]

I have heard women saying a big strong protector who is also emotionally stable and can comfort her first during a mutual crisis is a plus.

 

When there's a noise women send men to the frontline.

 

During cuddling women expect to feel safe and protected. They want to be spooned not hold the man and give him that feeling.

 

I have heard of women calling a man a wuss for crying because his child died.

 

I know women who say if their husband needed more nurturing or emotional support than they did he is a wuss.

 

And were these ALL women? Nope...

 

I submit this in response to the above: when there's a noise, my husband usually sleeps through it, which leaves ME to check it out.

 

I WANT to hold my man, giving him safety & protection from his troubles.

 

I have heard of man calling women "overly emotional" when we cried because they didn't know how to handle it.

 

I know men who say their wives are "high maintenance" because they need nurturing or emotional support they're not getting from their men.

 

Does this mean all men are this way? No...

[Touche]

Touche, I want to BE you when I grow up!!!

 

Oh stop it, you! You can hold your own and you know it. You know I love your posts. But thank you anyway.

 

Is this an insult or what? One of the other women said they do that.

 

Me insult anyone? Never.

 

Well I don't have to do that...my guy is OCD so he's a super neat/clean freak.

 

I wish I knew where you get your crazy ideas. Did you not have a mother or something? I've not seen many of your posts. Just the last few annoying ones. Have you never had a girlfriend who loved you and nurtured you? How old are you? Seriously.

 

I don't want to insult you but then I don't like being insulted by painting my whole gender with one broad brush. Knock it out, will you?

[Touche]

I said most women .All right. i believe you.

 

Do you give as much emotional support as you take? Do you comfort each other during a mutual crisis too?

 

If the answer is yes then you are not the average woman. that would be an exceptional woman.

 

and i am sure some exist.

 

its just so hard to find someone like that.

 

 

Some women are insensitive like Touche. This is the type of woman most are. men talk about their troubles and are instead insulted.

 

But thank you for not taking the easy route and responding to my questions instead of throwing out insults.

 

Yeah, I'm a cold, hard bitch who will eat you up and chew you out.

 

You're really ridiculous now.

[Touche]

I said there are exceptions. Enough that I haven't lost faith.

 

Most of those women won't respond. So I am not insulting you.

 

Most mothers don't protect their sons from bad women the way fathers do. Although I hear mothers-in-law can be painful so I guess that is one advantage for men.

 

Oh, I just saw this. Hate to break it to ya but the good men are the exceptions as well in my experience. I've always said I have one of the few good ones out there. And here's a hint: He doesn't think women are evil bitches who do nothing but take.

 

What's with this mother protecting sons from bad women thing?

[Ariadne]

Yeah, I'm a cold, hard bitch who will eat you up and chew you out.

 

You're really ridiculous now.

 

(Yeah, don't you hate it when people just join with a username called: newtoloveshac and start making wrong assumptions of memebers that have been here forever, as if they know what they are talking about)

[Star Gazer]

Under the assumption a woman did 8 hours of cooking , 8 hours of cleaning and did it a professional level.

 

Nope, that's not what that number stands for. Nice try though!

[HsMomma]

I said most women .All right. i believe you.

 

Do you give as much emotional support as you take? Do you comfort each other during a mutual crisis too?

 

If the answer is yes then you are not the average woman. that would be an exceptional woman.

 

and i am sure some exist.

 

its just so hard to find someone like that.

 

But thank you for not taking the easy route and responding to my questions instead of throwing out insults.

 

Yes, I do give as much emotional support (or more, if he needs it) as/than I take. Yes, we comfort each other during a mutual crisis, and NO, I am NOT exceptional - as I said, every woman I know & I've known a LOT of women in my lifetime - other than the one I know who IS a lot like the list at the beginning of this thread - all the other women are JUST LIKE ME.

 

It may be hard to find someone like that, but unless you are truly looking for the best in a person AND expecting to find it, you'll never find it.

 

You are welcome - I think it's important to try to address what I see as misconceptions.

[Trialbyfire]

Yeah, I'm a cold, hard bitch who will eat you up and chew you out.

Yup, I've already embraced everything negative about women and will openly admit to it. Men are such suckers, so I step all over them, use all their money, then spit them out, broke and broken. The roadside is full of chewed up and spat out carcasses. C'est la vie and get used to it...

 

So anyhow, can we turn this back into a positive thread about our SOs? I'm sick of the troll. It needs to be ignored.

 

Another thing I adore about my SO, is that he loves to drive and is good at it. He shifts so smoothly without stressing the tranny or clutch. No juvenile bang it into second gear at 6000 rpm for him!

[HsMomma]

Yup, I've already embraced everything negative about women and will openly admit to it. Men are such suckers, so I step all over them, use all their money, then spit them out, broke and broken. The roadside is full of chewed up and spat out carcasses. C'est la vie and get used to it...

 

So anyhow, can we turn this back into a positive thread about our SOs? I'm sick of the troll. It needs to be ignored.

 

Another thing I adore about my SO, is that he loves to drive and is good at it. He shifts so smoothly without stressing the tranny or clutch. No juvenile bang it into second gear at 6000 rpm for him!

 

Ok, TBF, back to the topic: I love that my husband, when I did something REALLY stupid Saturday night & when out with the girls to a neighborhood pub, drank 4 beers on an empty stomach & ended up arfing everything I drank, DIDN'T give me crap when I called asked him to come get me. I sure wasn't going to try to drive (just because I was irresponsible & drank without eating, I sure wasn't going to jeopardize someone else's life). He came, picked me up, took me home, put me to bed & just grinned wickedly at me Sunday morning when I told him how stupid I felt. Now, THAT'S my man!